224 replies to this topic

[vamos scorcho]

i've been hit by some depression this week or two.

its more just a lack of enjoyment and feeling, i wouldn't quite call it a reaction. then it turns into a mindfuck, like what is there to feel good about anyway? it's a misinterpretation of reality.

just going through the motions, losing touch with the good part of myself. falling into traps.

some days are good, you feel normal and you walk through places not feeling "disconnected" or whatever it may be

then other days are blurry, without reason. weeks pass like that, and nothing has happened. i'm trying to get out of this, maybe start djing. i need to do something.

[gmanyo]

Once I forgot to take my Cymbalta and I had vertigo the whole day and it was fucking awful. One other time I ran out for two days and then had insane crazy emotions and felt like getting into fights and went back to self injury for the first time in awhile. It was fucking insane towards the end of the second day.

[A/D]

I have lots of emotions and often it's a problem. I think the worst is when they get all locked up from not coming out and then I don't know what they are anymore. The only solution that consistently works is to spend time focusing on how each emotion feels in my body and then writing about it as much as I can. I would be interested to know if this works for anyone else.

[gmanyo]

You could cary a pocket notebook around with you to write your mood and the events surrounding it at different times to see if it has triggers, what they are, what situations have the most negative or positive emotions attached to them, and see what times of day are correlated with certain emotions.

[iep]

A/D, on 02 May 2012 - 07:47 AM, said:

I have lots of emotions and often it's a problem. I think the worst is when they get all locked up from not coming out and then I don't know what they are anymore. The only solution that consistently works is to spend time focusing on how each emotion feels in my body and then writing about it as much as I can. I would be interested to know if this works for anyone else.

it doesn't work for me. i wear a mask of reason and rationality to avoid facing that impregnable mindfield.

[A/D]

iep, on 02 May 2012 - 07:51 AM, said:

A/D, on 02 May 2012 - 07:47 AM, said:

I have lots of emotions and often it's a problem. I think the worst is when they get all locked up from not coming out and then I don't know what they are anymore. The only solution that consistently works is to spend time focusing on how each emotion feels in my body and then writing about it as much as I can. I would be interested to know if this works for anyone else.

it doesn't work for me. i wear a mask of reason and rationality to avoid facing that impregnable mindfield.

heh. yeah that stopped working for me, was the thing.

thanks gmanyo, that is surely possible, and writing more is never a bad thing. what I like most about it is that it seems to let me get the unwanted stuff out of my head and let me focus on what I want to do. which = best!

[Hoodie]

gmanyo, on 02 May 2012 - 07:50 AM, said:

You could cary a pocket notebook around with you to write your mood and the events surrounding it at different times to see if it has triggers, what they are, what situations have the most negative or positive emotions attached to them, and see what times of day are correlated with certain emotions.

recording your behavior is actually highly effective and the first step in the self-directed change process. it brings things into your conscious awareness that you never would have noticed before.

[Kcinsu]

So, I've been continually increasing my exercise amounts, and eating healthier and healthier, and honestly I feel better than I ever did on antidepressants. I'm not saying I don't get depressed, but it feels less intense, and doesn't last as long. It feels like I am cleansing my mind every time I push myself physically. I wish I had understood this at a younger age.

[disparaissant]

im gonna rant here
i missed an appointment with my psychiatrist today to see how new meds were working out because to be frank they ARENT really working out and i missed the appointment because i am sleeping 2 hours a night and am so fucking scatterbrained and crazy that i can barely remember my own name let alone an appointment that i set up three weeks ago and now she wants to charge me $142 to NOT see her when i am uninsured and can't really afford to actually SEE her in the FIRST fucking place. that is more than the fucking appointment would have cost.

[Candiru]

Now, my view on antidepressants is that they are a necessary evil for the most desperate 10% of people affected with depression to give them the kick they need to help themselves. They are horribly overprescribed and it's quite scary how readily a doctor will write that script for you with little to no questions asked.

When I was taking them, I had these manic episodes, where basically my Id would take over and I would shoplift or steal from people and start all kinds of shit with no regard to the consequences. I was a conniving bastard, but I guess that was a latent side to me anyway.

[Smettingham Rutherford IV]

disparaissant, on 02 May 2012 - 11:16 AM, said:

im gonna rant here
i missed an appointment with my psychiatrist today to see how new meds were working out because to be frank they ARENT really working out and i missed the appointment because i am sleeping 2 hours a night and am so fucking scatterbrained and crazy that i can barely remember my own name let alone an appointment that i set up three weeks ago and now she wants to charge me $142 to NOT see her when i am uninsured and can't really afford to actually SEE her in the FIRST fucking place. that is more than the fucking appointment would have cost.

real talk. i was in this same situation a few months back. you'll have to make a decision immediately as to whether financial wellbeing or mental wellbeing is your first goal. Personally I chose to forsake the psych for the time being, and I seem to be doing ok with it.

In a weird way being overworked has helped my mental state...there literally is no time to get depressed....more feelings of anger than anything else.

[The Pod]

I'm really glad I never started on antidepressants. I have a friendofafriend who is on them and they have turned her into a fucking psychopath. Not a zombie, actually she was a bit of a zombie before the pills to be honest, and I think she was always a bit unstable, but she used to keep it kind of bottled up and to herself. She is now very hard to be around/impossible to be around and she is pushing her only true friend (not me) farther and farther away with her crazy shit. It's actually very sad and I do feel bad for her, but at the same time it's not fair to expect anyone to have to deal with a person like her.

[disparaissant]

Smettingham Rutherford IV, on 03 May 2012 - 07:13 AM, said:

real talk. i was in this same situation a few months back. you'll have to make a decision immediately as to whether financial wellbeing or mental wellbeing is your first goal. Personally I chose to forsake the psych for the time being, and I seem to be doing ok with it.

In a weird way being overworked has helped my mental state...there literally is no time to get depressed....more feelings of anger than anything else.

i went to the free clinic in town and they were able to help me out some so thats nice
my mental wellbeing is presently way more important to me than having money... i'm overworked as hell (finals + job + applying to new schools oh god) and its just made me stress to the point of mania whoo whoo
but luckily i have an appointment with the county mental health services in a month and some shit to hopefully tide me over until then and then everything there will be free since i worked under the table all last year.

[l1fef0rm]

Do not ask WATTM on this topic. Talk to your doctor.

[A/D]

l1fef0rm, on 03 May 2012 - 05:07 PM, said:

Do not ask WATTM on this topic. Talk to your doctor.

Yes only ask WATMM. The cunts at WATTM will drive you to suicide.

[lumpenprol]

l1fef0rm, on 03 May 2012 - 05:07 PM, said:

Do not ask WATTM on this topic. Talk to your doctor.

says the man with 216 posts. I've said it before and I'll say it again, watmm has a track record of actually being a pretty good place to find some articulate folks with insight and some common experience when it comes to mental issues (and in xxx's case, actual medical training). Of course no watmm advice should be seen as a substitute for seeking professional help, but it's also completely natural for people to want to open up about their problems to like-minded folks first. I don't think we're a bad first stop...

[gmanyo]

Actually, if I were to go to a forum to ask about antidepressants, I'd go to bluelight.ru, a forum entirely about drugs.

[Zephyr_Nova]

Anyone here take 5htp to increase yer serotonins? Seems to be quite effective for some people, is much less invasive than most antidepressants, and you don't need a prescription for it. (PS don't take it if you're already taking other antidepressants, but if you're looking for an alternative it seems to be a pretty good one.)

[goDel]

Anyone agreeing that it's strange there's even such a thing as prescription free antidepressants? As if depression is cured like a headache. Sounds like there's a hole in regulation. And it's created by some pharmaceutic company. One or more. (if doctors are prescribing less, you can still use the wall-mart route)

*bling bling*

Edited by goDel, 04 May 2012 - 12:33 AM.

[delet...]

I could use anti-depressants today. Feeling worse than i have in months. Oh well, just have to push through it. My next sleep will probably reboot whatevers going on.

[lumpenprol]

delet, just avail yourself of that tried-and-true depression lifter admins have used for ages: ban someone

[iep]

yeah! close a motherfucking thread!

[iep]

A/D, on 02 May 2012 - 08:24 AM, said:

iep, on 02 May 2012 - 07:51 AM, said:

A/D, on 02 May 2012 - 07:47 AM, said:

I have lots of emotions and often it's a problem. I think the worst is when they get all locked up from not coming out and then I don't know what they are anymore. The only solution that consistently works is to spend time focusing on how each emotion feels in my body and then writing about it as much as I can. I would be interested to know if this works for anyone else.

it doesn't work for me. i wear a mask of reason and rationality to avoid facing that impregnable mindfield.

heh. yeah that stopped working for me, was the thing.

how old are you?

[delet...]

lumpenprol, on 04 May 2012 - 03:09 AM, said:

delet, just avail yourself of that tried-and-true depression lifter admins have used for ages: ban someone

Can you imagine the moaning that i would have to put up with. It would increase the seeming weight of the world pushing down on my head by a couple of tons.

Ala, i'm not one of those people that can balance being reviled with the magic of power over others.

[A/D]

iep, on 04 May 2012 - 04:14 AM, said:

how old are you?

27. Why?