Jurassic World (2015)

[Silent Member]

Let's make Raptors the good guys and have them fight alongside the humans. T-Rex is played out, we need to make it much larger and more evil, put some spikes on that shit.

 

Brilliant!

[ambermonk]

At this point Hollywood is completely artistically bankrupt...unless this movie will feature a Cyber T-Rex with a laser eye, a robotic limb, and a minigun grafted to one arm and a grenade launcher to the other, and goes on a rampage attacking every major city in its path. If not, fuck this movie.

[YEK]

At this point Hollywood is completely artistically bankrupt...unless this movie will feature a Cyber T-Rex with a laser eye, a robotic limb, and a minigun grafted to one arm and a grenade launcher to the other, and goes on a rampage attacking every major city in its path. If not, fuck this movie.

 

[ambermonk]

^ YES

[cichlisuite]

At this point Hollywood is completely artistically bankrupt...unless this movie will feature a Cyber T-Rex with a laser eye, a robotic limb, and a minigun grafted to one arm and a grenade launcher to the other, and goes on a rampage attacking every major city in its path. If not, fuck this movie.

Sam Neil will have a cameo as a jaded (and drunk) paleoonthologist, living with the dinosaurs on the island, rigging them with additional cyber-prosthetics to combat the rich white people coming in for a safari.

[Soloman Tump]

If Chris Pratt doesn't end up riding a Pterodactyl to rescue some dame in distress, then they've missed a trick with this film IMO.

 

Plus, as per usual with Hollywood, the ENTIRE plot is given away in that 1 minute spot. Congratulations.

[dr lopez]

its hard for me to believe that anybody could seriously with a straight face say that Temple of Doom is inferior to Crystal Skull.

indians and chinese people maybe

[Hail Sagan]

Thread ruined my expectations. Obviously still gonna watch because DINOSAURS. Also, bonus points for not doing a remake though I'm sure a lot of people would rather have that at this point. If it's a failure at least it fails originally (or in the standard, semi-original but highly formulaic way hollywood is famous for). The domesticated raptors sound really corny but there's a lot of 8 year-olds that would wanna throw rocks at you for saying that.

[usagi]

Also, bonus points for not doing a remake though I'm sure a lot of people would rather have that at this point.

 

don't think so, Coral.

 

hey Coral

 

why did the raptor get top grades in class?

 

 

cos she was a clever girl

 

 

A CLEVER GIRL, CORAL

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[pattern recognition]

laughed

[Hail Sagan]

 

Also, bonus points for not doing a remake though I'm sure a lot of people would rather have that at this point.

 

don't think so, Coral.

 

hey Coral

 

why did the raptor get top grades in class?

 

 

cos she was a clever girl

 

 

A CLEVER GIRL, CORAL

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A strange and enjoyable read. Thank you, your strangeness.

[dr lopez]

woahhhhhhh the tv spots are so bad. this movie looks like shit

[ambermonk]

Ah ah ahh, you didn't say the magic word. Ah ah ahh. Ah ah ahh.Ah ah ahh. p

[peace 7]

[Brisbot]

I'm not very excited. The trailer might be doing a bad job though.

[ambermonk]

 

 

 

 

 

[Squee]

This movie is going to be a disaster. Colin Trevorrow has said he's not coming back for the sequels, so I'm wondering if he's already dissing his own movie?

[cichlisuite]

I can't believe the level of repetitive Goebbels shit H*wood is achieving these days...

[Squee]

8.7 on imdb. LOL.

[Guest Atom Dowry Firth]

i think y'all are being too harsh though cus you have to remember even the first one wasn't high art or anything. just good fun with dinosaurs and jeff goldblum gracing us with his presence

 

[Guest Atom Dowry Firth]

huh?

 

[tec]

This film is gonna be fucking wicked, and you can quote me on that.

[peace 7]

This film is gonna be fucking wicked, and you can quote me on that.

 

There you go. You can come back to the quote when you're crying and shitting your pants cuz the film was an insult to your humanity, making the 6 pack you've been working on for 17 months straight look ridiculous.

 

Also, the original original Jurassic Park had flaws, but it's still a masterpiece. It's the single film that pushed CGI to the next level, and it actually had good storytelling and MOOOD, man. Mood. The only way Jurassic World could compare is if they actually brought back dinosaurs just for the film, trained them, then opened up a real Jurassic Park with the dinosaur actors. Then again, Tron Legacy was surprisingly a great film, so maybe Jurassic World will have a Tron bike in it.

[Silent Member]

I'm confident it will be at least half as good as Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

[usagi]

half of zero is still zero.