Why Your Local Record Store Employee Became An Asshole

[Joyrex]

From Dangerous Minds:

 

 

 

Customer: “Why are there only 12 songs on this CD?”

Clerk: “Uh, that’s just how many songs are on it.”
Customer: “So, there’s six songs per side?”

*

Customer: “I’m looking for an old song called ‘The Monster Mash’. I think it’s by Kris Kristofferson.”

*

(phone call)
Customer: “Are you the manager?”
Clerk: “Yes.”
Customer: “OK. There’s a Beatles album… it’s really rare… it’s worth a whole lot of money… Do you know which one it is?”
Clerk: “No.”
Customer: “OK. How much would it be worth?”

*

Customer: “Do you have a Christmas album by Aryan Neville?”

*

Customer: “Do you have any Van Morrison? I didn’t see any under ‘V’.”
Clerk: (politely) “Well, it would actually be under ‘M’.”
Customer: “NEVERMIND!” (customer storms out)

*

(phone call)
Customer: “Is this the record place?”
Clerk: “Yes.”
Customer: “Could you tell me how to get a record deal? I do rap.”

*

Customer: “I’m looking for a Country singer. The last name is ‘Redding’. I think the first name is ‘Otis’”

*

(phone call)
Customer: “Do you have any… uh… Gospel… uh… I mean… uh… tape… on… video… uh… I mean… (screams) DO YOU HAVE ANY HALLE BERRY MOVIES?”

*

(phone call)
Customer: “Do you have constellation music?”
Clerk: “Constellation music?”
Customer: “You know… A variety.”

[olo]

better luck next time jr.

[Cryptowen]

more evidence that illegal downloaders are saving the industry

[Guest murphythecat8]

lol, they are all so full of themselves

[Herr Jan]

Read that a few days ago, had a good laugh at a few - some were really recognizable, like this one:

A man buys Yusef Lateef’s Eastern Sounds CD. The next day he brings it back complaining: “There’s too many eastern sounds on it.”

Reminds me of a someone I know who recently stated that Fela Kuti was ok but way too afrobeat sounding.

[colunga]

I thought it was more like:

 

**Walks in**

Cust: Can you tell me a good place to start with Zappa?

Clerk: Sure, what are you into?

(5-10 minute convo between them about Zappa)

Cust: Cool thanks!!

**Leaves**

 

--------------------------------------

 

**Walks in**

Cust: Hey do you know anything about theses AFX dropcards? Like do they do anything?

Clerk: No i dont know.

Cust: I heard somewhere that you get to access special stuff with it

Clerk: Maybe.

Cust: Like, why does it have a number on it?

Clerk: I dont know.

**Cust 2 enters**

Cust2: hey do you guys have those afx drop cards here?

Clerk: Sigh. No.

 

-------------------------------------------

**Walks in**

**Cust looks around for a while, writes stuff down, or takes pics of albums with phone***

**leaves**

 

 

 

These remind me of that clerks montage: "What do you mean theres no ice?!? u mean i gotta drinkt his coffe hot???" - "Do you have that one movei with that guy that was in that movei that was out last year?" "How much is this? (asked from in front of the price sign)"

[Herr Jan]

Obvious reference post

These remind me of that clerks montage: "What do you mean theres no ice?!? u mean i gotta drinkt his coffe hot???" - "Do you have that one movei with that guy that was in that movei that was out last year?" "How much is this? (asked from in front of the price sign)"

Hear, hear!

[Mag]

Obvious reference post

 

im so totally gonna watch this movie tonight

[Brisbot]

I don't know jayrax, I'd have tons of fun at this establishment if I got these kinds of calls.

[Ivan Ooze]

my mum in the record store for my dad

"do you have the album by blurp?"

"do you have any cd's of buddy waters"

 

my mom in the record store for me on the phone

"what's that album you wanted? cack and ball? do you have cock and ball torture?"

in a french store: " what's it called? excuse me sir i'm looking for gronibard (huge tits )"

 

love my mom

[Joyrex]

*Walks into Bleep Record Store**

 

Customer: Do you have Tomorrow's Harvest in stock?

 

Clerk: Sure! Let me get you a copy.

 

*clerk returns 3 months later***

 

 

 

*Does not really exist

** Not my personal experience

[Ivan Ooze]

me at my favorite recordstore "do you have this album?" clerk: "come back next week i'll have it then"

i always have to wait a month for it and he always says i'll have it tommorrow or next week for 15 years in a row

last time i go there, "can you order selected ambient works by afx? clerk: "yes they repressed it, come back next week i'll have it"

i go back next week, store is empty, favorite recordshop gonne

[Bechuga]

HMV Store clerk: "Hi, just these CDs?"

Me: "Yep."

HMV Store Clerk: "Find what you were looking for?"

Me: "Yeah, but it's way over priced."

*silence*

*pays by card*

*leaves*

 

Before their prices came down to reasonable levels, I might add.

[hello spiral]

When did their prices ever come down to reasonable levels?

 

lol

[Herr Jan]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVhosLxEcHc

[Bechuga]

When did their prices ever come down to reasonable levels?

 

lol

 

Reasonable by their previous standards, I mean. So they're still high, but just not at 'let's pretend we're based in Dubai' levels of high.

[Alcofribas]

one of my recent favorite phone calls:

 

customer: do you guys buy VHO?

me: VHO? i'm not sure what that is...

customer: VHO, it's like...movies.

me: VHS?

customer: yeah, VHO.

me: it's VHS, not VHO.

customer: VHO

 

 

how does that happen??

[colunga]

one of my recent favorite phone calls:

 

customer: do you guys buy VHO?

me: VHO? i'm not sure what that is...

customer: VHO, it's like...movies.

me: VHS?

customer: yeah, VHO.

me: it's VHS, not VHO.

customer: VHO

 

 

how does that happen??

 

He was high off BHO

[Guest skibby]

[Berk]

Reminds me of a someone I know who recently stated that Fela Kuti was ok but way too afrobeat sounding.