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Hah, I just came here to post about this trailer. I just cried some tears of joy seeing live-action Grand Admiral Thrawn. So fucking excited. Mandalorian is a steaming pile of shit now so hopefully this picks Star Wars back up.

This is the new Danny Brown i've been waiting for for years. Some fcking insane tracks on this. Have been moshing like an idiot all over my apartment today to "Lean Beef Patty" and "God Loves You".

Thought I would give an update as it's a big month with everything. Tomorrow is the official court dissolution of the marriage. It's completely over tomorrow. Will be a short Zoom meeting with a judge and then i'm legally a single man again. At this point after all of these months i'm doing very fine - it is true that time heals all wounds. I just got the keys to my new apartment 2 days ago and i'm currently furnishing it, my house's closing date when we give the keys to the new owners is March 24th. So I should get some nice equity to start my new life. I've been on two dates so far with different girls - met through dating app. One of them was a right kick in the balls, I dug her a lot but she ghosted me lol. Guess this is quite common these days in the dating world. As much as it sucked I think i needed a kick in the balls, because of her i started working out again, eating more, coming out of my shell, and overall feeling like myself. Second girl was nice and cute but not for me. So I haven't thought about my ex once in weeks. Getting back in the dating game helped out a lot - it gives you something to think about all day instead of the craziness you are going through. This thread should be really interesting to look at down the line. I think I talked deeper with you all about this stuff than anyone else. Which obviously sounds mental since you are strangers, but I think it was cathartic. So thanks to everyone that chimed in and gave advice and helpful & kind words.

The Last of Us, Episode 8. Awesome. Mandalorian, Episode 2. Bad-ass. I'm a happy camper at the moment.

I've been noticing this too. It's either zero chemistry between the actors or terrible writing. Or maybe Bella Ramsey isn't as great as they thought she'd be. I'll keep watching this show because I'll watch anything zombie or post-apocalyptic, but it definitely been a slow roller so far. It's definitely more dialog and drama driven than I expected. Granted my expectations mean nothing, I never played the game.

That track Paradise Drive is sounding like sex. Need that one in me life.

I think i've lost an insurmountable amount of brain cells as I've started watching this UK Show "Love Island". Such a mindless show but actually perfect for me right. Going through a lot of life shit so I need something really light and simple to keep my mind off things. If I watch something deep / dark / emotional right now then it drags me into thinking about my woes. Also I do love hearing all the accents, British, Irish, Scottish. Being in the States I almost never hear any of it. Doesn't hurt some of the women are lovely to look at as well.

I think I decipher your post. And I agree completely. Black Summer was sick as hell. Just re-watched the first season again. What a great zombie show. I never liked TWD too much, and The Last of Us still has time to get great. Z Nation is a close second to Black Summer for me though. Had lots of fun watching that one.

56072280_19.OnceAgain(Feat.ATribeCalledQuest).mp3

Klassic shit. And if you never peeped their album Mood - Doom - such greatness on it. Early DJ Hi-tek beats were insane.

The Last of Us ep3 was awesome. Better than a lot of movies i've seen. Glad it's picking up, first couple didn't really grab me.

Damn didn't see there was a response, since I wasn't quoted or anything and didn't get a notification. My mentality is still weird with what to call her since we not officially divorced yet. Also. I did get on dating apps. Just proceeding with much care and being nice and not forward to any women. I'll just talk to them for a long time and then if it gets to the point that we might go on a date i'll let them know something to this effect. "Hey so I want to be open and transparent about my current situation before going out on a date, so you can make up your own mind on it. I'm at the tail end of a very amicable divorce. We've been separated and broken up for months, the divorce is signed-sealed and delivered. Just waiting on the official word from the judge which has been scheduled. Completely up to you if you'd like to move forward or not - I understand either way!"

Some updates and musings. We just signed the divorce paperwork last night. Both agreeing on everything and using one lawyer. The lawyer was pretty surprised by how ancy my wife was in their meeting to get the divorce done. She thinks she might be hiding some money somewhere or something. I really don't care and just want to move past this part of my life as soon as possible. So the next steps are there is 30 days wait time to have the Dissolution of Marriage Trial (which I can be at over Zoom), which is just a small trial of the judge going over everything and then granting the divorce. So by all rights I am now just one month away from being a single man. The house is now under contract with a buyer. If the inspections go well then we should be gold and sale will go through, but I guess inspection is where stuff usually goes to shit so we will see. I'm about to move temporarily into my dad's house this weekend, but also i'm checking out an apartment tomorrow. It's in the neighborhood I want to it to be in, maybe a tiny bit more expensive than I'd want it to be but that's not the end of the world. I'm not going to be there forever. If I like it I'm going to try to get moving on it quick. My emotions and mental state are still up and down. Good days and bad days. I'm sure it's going to be like this for a while, at least until all of this stuff is concluded. I have quite a bit of anger now, nothing wild or anything. Just pissed off that she did all of this. Feel like our whole marriage a sham. There's something i've been thinking about the past few weeks that's going to sound pretty crazy but it's a true story. So back before we got married I was visiting her family in Germany with her. Had to meet the family before going much further. I was in the shower at her childhood home and I was washing and closed my eyes for a second and when I opened them a very emaciated old woman was right in front of me. She had extremely powerful dark and negative energy that was directed right at me. She was only there for a millisecond, but that millisecond felt like a lifetime. So it turns out my wife's mother died in this house from a long and very difficult battle with cancer. I believe who I saw was her mother. What I thought at the time was that it was her mom pretty much telling me to treat her well, she's not alive anymore so this was her only way to do it. Treat her well or else was the message I believed she was sending. What i'm starting to think now is that I got this message very wrong from what it actually was. What I learned was that my wife's mother and her did not have a good relationship at all. In fact, towards the end and while she was sick my wife treated her really poorly. Did not give her love or affection. My wife practically treated her like shit while she was dying of cancer in that house. So I think this presence was was actually her mother warning me. Warning me to not marry her or this will happen to me too. Get away, run away from this girl. I completely misinterpreted it. It's exactly what I went through. I had horrible health problems and my wife treated me like shit, with disgust and contempt. I wish I would've understood what her mother was saying, but there was no real way I could. It could've saved me some heartbreak though.

Man I don't even miss it at this point anymore. I think because of the past year that my craft beer phase and booze in general is in the past. When you're sick and when you lose almost everything, it really makes you reconsider life and what's important. I mean having some really good craft beer was my way to relax and numb myself - it was what it was. Now I'd rather focus my energy on more positive things. Things that you can see results from. Health is so central. Without it you have nothing. I'll keep trying to naturally heal myself at the moment. If things do get really bad again though a large part of me wants to take the money from the house and go somewhere, India, Canada, wherever, and really get my issues fixed. We'll see in time I guess. My brother has had a lot of health issues as well, not the same ones but very chronic and aggressive like mine. Turns out that he's getting tested for a genetic disease soon, something that I might have too. We all share the same symptoms of this disease. It's called "HHT". Not too much is known about it and there is no cure, but if this was something that's been plaguing me it would be great to finally know. Then could actually build a plan of action.

Update: Things are really starting to move now. The house is officially up for sale as of today, tomorrow we have an open house and two showings. It's going to be a little hectic for me during this time because I work from home and I can't be around during showings. I think I should just plan on spending time working at my dad's house - hopefully his wifi isn't too shitty. It seems faulty whenever i'm there which will not bode well since I have to give presentations and shit over Zoom for my job. The divorce paperwork is close to all complete. I just sat with the lawyer the other night and went over everything. And now my wife has scheduled her time to go over everything with the lawyer next Thursday. This will really be the do-or-die part of this all. If she agrees with everything, we get this done and move on. If not, the house of cards i've built falls and we are back to square one. Mentally I'm doing alright. I think it really depends on how my physical health is. If i'm feeling well, I can deal with things a lot better. But if i'm in terrible gut pain, the combination of the physical and the emotional anguish can just be too much to bear. That plus the fear that I won't be able to perform at my job because of the level of pain I'm in. That always scares the shit out of me. Not too much more I can do about this. I'm living a healthy lifestyle, avoiding any triggers, getting sleep, taking probiotics and vitamins. Hell I'm practically living like a monk. I've quit alcohol, nicotine, caffeine or any stimulants. Pretty much everything that gives you joy in this shitty existence, lol. It'll hopefully be worth it though.

Been f*cking around and making some lofi hip-hop type stuff and releasing it. Nature sounds, guitars, flutes, laid back beats. Just released a second single. I think this one's a bit heavier emotionally than the last one I made. Both singles aren't bad though. Nice for a little hike or walk in the park. Links - https://bit.ly/3X7dDym (Youtube,Bandcamp,Apple,Spotify,etc)

I'll never understand the appeal of this show. From what i've heard and read it's just a frantic and anxiety inducing show about chefs and the kitchen restaurant life (yelling at each other and shit). I avoided working food service my entire life, no idea why i'd sit on my couch and watch people doing it lol.

Rewatching Stranger Things Season 4. It is really great. If you are one of those people that gave up after a season or two, I highly suggest giving it a shot. Hell, just skip season 2 and 3 if you want lol. You will not regret it.

There's going to be doom and gloom man... It's not magically going to disappear. I'm going to be upset and upset for a while. I've said i'm doing better though, and the really dark moments are getting shortened and more infrequent. That's all I can ask for right now really. I mean what I said is just a fact. Also notice how i said it's "surreal", not that i'm curled up in a ball weeping about it or anything. My life as I know it and foresaw it is gone and i'm trying my best to cope with it. I'm the friggin trenches right now man. Nowhere near the divorce being over or me having a place or feeling comfortable again.

Thanks a lot Chen. I'll take you up on that, sounds like you have a wealth of knowledge (unfortunately). Super surreal right now throwing out furniture, preparing the house for showings. It's like i'm throwing away my life and the vision of my future.

I got two or three episodes in but wasn't grabbed enough by it to continue on. Had some cool ideas and scenes but the plot wasn't coherent enough for me to wonder what happens next.

So if you happen to know where Edgewater Park is, that's where my family resides. That's where i'll be looking. Also 2500 for a one bedroom???? That's New York pricing, jeez. My mortgage for my 4 bedroom house is 1,450 a month. I'm looking to spend around 1,200 for a two bedroom apartment in the Edgewater neighborhood, which is pretty normal pricing. & yea I don't know too much about Youngstown other than don't get stranded there at night, lol.

Just an update. I've started to spearhead everything (which is what I didn't want to have to do). I'm trying to get the stuff with the lawyer done, i'm meeting with realtors on the house - trying to push this thing along. So not only does she get her divorce she wants but I'm doing all the work. It is what it is. I'd rather get all of this figured out sooner than later. If she wants to be lax on this and delay things that's on her. I want to start moving on in my life. I'm starting to develop my plans. I will live in my house until the house is sold and closed on, then I will move in with my pops just long enough to find an apartment in the same area of town. My dad lives by the lake, (Lake Erie) here in Cleveland. It's super beautiful and one of my favorite things to do is take hikes down along the water (listening to tunes of course) and go to the park. So I think i'll look for a 2 bedroom apartment in this area, it'll be close to family, close the the city, and can use one of the bedrooms for office. I was thinking about staying with my dad for a few months before but dropping some shit off there I realized that would be impossible at this age. I'm a 35 year old man and he yelled at me for some dumb shit already like I was 12 years old. After having my own house and domain for so many years I can't be under his roof for any longer than needed. But i'm still really lucky to have his place for the transition - not everybody has that luxury in this situation. It is tempting to set up a profile on dating apps and start looking around. I know this unwise though. Way too much shit going on to even consider starting something new. I'll have a lot of time to mess around with that stuff when i'm finally settled after all of this chaos. I won't lie though I love having a partner in life, i think life is far better when shared, i've always been that way - so i'll just have to buckle down and get through the next couple months the best I can.