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marf

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Posts posted by marf

  1. On 6/9/2023 at 8:12 AM, auxien said:

    did you feel you were 'living' in your 20s/late 20s? and things have degraded since that time in your life?

    Oh yeah, df. I was fresh and new to the world. Lived a very sheltered life and then boom university. Partying. Friends who loved me. Became a townie. Life was in technicolor. Everything was pure excitement. Developed some mental issues after 30. Hints of ocd in my 20's but never major depression. Until it hit when I was 30. Closed off from the world. Gave into my introverted habits even more. I have in my mind of who I should be. Lack of funds to travel. Always talked of where I wanted to go with my Mom or sister, but it never happened. Most seriously my mental health or lack of it really got ahold of me. Preventing me from being that person. The under lying depression I live with . Now with anxiety and pure fear running my life. Ive had an awful last 7 years. I think I must have broke a mirror. 

    I look at my sister who is having issues but they are external. I am my own worst enemy. Truly. She lives to the fullest. Gets energy from people. I wake up with gawd awful anxiety. 

    The best phrase I can think off is that lyric. "Oh yeah, life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone."  It's kind of been like that. knock on wood as I want to I've longer and be that other person.  Ive had friends hang themselves. Total shock, but a bit of a trigger. You get bombarded with news after being off Facebook for 12 years. 

     

    • Like 1
  2. Im rooting for it. It's going to get waaaay better. Tech advances more than anything I can think of. 

    We might have to go back to driving old cars, using carbon copy for credit cards, paper filing systems again. I want to say make me an FFT app that has never been done before.

    Make a voice turn into a spinning bowl and then into a vocoded vocal that has a carrier made of sounds sequenced from cellular automata's rule 30. Im not eloquent enough. That will be a skill. Being eloquent enough to describe what you want. 

  3. I was getting into a frenzy asking chatgpt to write supercollider code for all manor of things. Dream me up this fft app. Make a buchla sequencer. Make an arp 2600 . It was pumping all this code out. 

    I was getting so excited , but none of it worked ?

    Maybe someday. 

  4. I just hope Behringer doesn't make a polymoog clone. Because I own a polymoog and it took a lot of work to get it. 

    But they are buddies with synthpro and he is the polymoog guru. So I can see it happening. They did a really good job on the solina

  5. On 2/27/2023 at 6:04 AM, zazen said:

    Analord 10 was the first one to drop right? I remember people listening to the leaks/preview samples of Fenix Funk on here. 

    Some baffled, some excited. Theocide understood what was going on.

    Looking back, I've replayed Analord tracks much more than I've replayed any of the stuff he did since.

    Analord bears the closest resemblence to SAW 85-92, in terms of spirit

     

    It's because he played to tape. 

    Tape doesn't fatigue the ear like earlier digital recordings. Saw 1 was on tape too.

    • Like 1
  6. 5 hours ago, ghsotword said:

    Wouldn't this be circular? Using extra friction to charge a battery that stores the energy that will be used to overcome the extra friction. I guess it could work if it's a hybrid car, and extra friction is used when the the car is running on gas. Or if extra friction is only used while braking

    Somehow have the road create friction with the tier. Like they put drag on each other.  You could have reserve energy just to get started. And the braking system

     

    But thats not going to happen. The roads being redone. 

    A nice train system would be lovely. But thats not going to happen either

  7. I know mRna has been worked on for decades, but in humans? I can't get a definitive answer. The vax got fda approval long after covid dropped. I didnt like the virtue signaling that swept the world. Allienating skeptics. Why not be a little cautious? It was frightening how in lock step the public ostracized and belittled cautious people. Like some global mind control. 

    Now young people are dying in higher numbers mysteriously and cancer is drastically on the rise. I dont know. I will keep watching and hope I dont get hit hard with Covid. 

  8. looking for an annotated Comprehensive philosophy book on the Greeks. Plato, basically, But it gets way too abstract for me. Some down to earth laymen stuff to help bring it together would be amazing.Really want something good If you know of something . Thank you

  9. I had the J&J vax.. I refuse to get the mRNAs. Not enough out there on long term effects. Some doctors are coming out with scary information. I have ALS in my genes and I dont want to trigger it. I know a guy in a wheel chair from the covid vax. Really. Got shot, Went paralyzed in hours. I go the flu shot. 

    Bro in law has covid . Was at his house last night so we shall see. Im not fat so I hope that helps. Just dont want the weird shit. Like smelling shit for a year . Or clinical depression on top of the clinical depression. 

    • Facepalm 2
  10. The Peter Sellers story is insane. He disowned his son at 7 for saying he liked mummy more. Asked the child to stop using the surname sellers. Wrote all of his children out of his will. He had people spy on his wives on film sets. His last wife drank herself to do death after getting married to a heart surgeon, and divorcing but insisted on being called Mrs Sellers in her final days. (ripe age of 39) None of his biological children got his money. And they suffered. His last wife's daughter from another father got it all. 

    Seller's was going to change that will but died of heart failure too soon. His biological son died 26 years later to the day of the same heart issue. He had a tough life. Seller's suffered from a horrible father but a doting mother. So, Some weird combo there created a horrible narcissist. 

    It's always confounded me why people can be so cruel to their children. Witnessing it first hand in my own family. Just don't get it. 

    • Like 2
  11. Please, Please,  talk to a professional about this suicidal stuff. Get help. Go to a clinic. In a year, you'll wonder wtf you were so worried about . 

  12. id say its fair to assume most everyone here has been through a life of pain (and happiness) at this point. No children here.

    Get your health looked at ,asap. Go to the emergency room if you have to. Pay 20 bucks a month forever if you dont have insurance. Who cares. 

    Don't end your life!!! Life is a surprise.  You have good friends? And family? You are already there.

    Do you really love her? Or are you just afraid of change? Id wager a woman like that would be easy to get over. Dumping you over money? typical. 

    Its true. Woman are not sporadic like that, it's been brewing in her. She was faking it to keep you from suspicion.  Unless she has some undiagnosed mental illness.

    Know thyself, Lyst. You sound like a very sensitive moral man. Vows being a serious thing to you. She broke them

    What is the pain source? The thought of another man with her? Losing her companionship? Her cold companionship? Reanalyze why you were with her just as she did with you. Maybe you got stuck in a rut? Dont like change? 

    Did you really love her? Or do you love the woman you dated before the real one came out?  The woman does not seem salvageable. Some marriages are. This is done, but it is a blessing in disguise.

    Do you obsess for years like I do about a woman? If not. You are going to be fine

    Life can bring unimaginable joy out of the darkest cataclysmic events. You just have to let that star implode. It's never over. 

    I would not stay in that house with her one more day. Cut this off.. Come to terms with it, talk to friends as often as possible. They will be your lifeline, and be cold as fuck. Get a lawyer. 

    • Like 2
  13. Triangle of sadness. Excellent Comedy, about how all humans suck basically. 

     

    Being There; 70's Peter Sellers. Kind of a proto forest Gump idea. Not as amped up as it would be if made today. 

    I was mostly curious as Ive been reading about Seller's and what an awful human being he was.  Plus I got a great MKV player that will play anything you throw at it. Great box.

    NEUMI ATOM 4K with a great SD card is amazing. 

    • Like 1
    • Burger 1
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