sine nomine

The Big Lebowski. I finished watching this ... I had started it and not payed attention many times before. I'm sure there's lots more I can put together and surely many others have already, it may not be entirely inspired by Jesus, or "a day in the life of Jesus" but it was quite apparent to me that I just watched a story of yes; a deadbeat, a lazy man, an artist a dude! But also a redeemer... a Christ. A dude that hammered his own nails in, and just as Christ, the darkness was inevitable. It's wonderful how it was depicted with the taste of blissful ignorance, with the dude getting it all wrong to try and keep he's fellow two other crucified from entering he's apartment.

I'm engulfed by a society that measures success with how much money you make and what job you have. It's all about money. How to make lots of it and to show that you have lots of it. I just don't value money or material things enough to ever be a "winner" in this way of life that I currently find myself in. I don't know that I'll ever have the courage to escape it either. I wonder just how much of a role women have to play into things having turned out this way. Obviously basic evolutionary traits are definitely the likely cause of western society turning out this way. It's all very shallow, kind of sad, really. It's essentially a cycle of wanting to fuck as many women as possible and women wanting the shiniest things just to have life grow inside them for 9 months (and them not even knowing that is possibly the main reason for their 1000 pairs of shoes stash) and this resulting in making the dollar and the wanting of it ever more powerful. I get that it all acts as the fuel to push innovation in almost all aspects of life, through competition and consumerism. Keeping up the Joneses and all that. There's barely any genuine people left. Everyone just worships the dollar. And those powerful enough to own people's time, becoming so perverse and deviant. Such a dark world. All for what? There's many like me, I'm sure, being made to feel like losers, which I admit I am (if we're talking about the game of worshiping money) I'm almost fed up with it though. Just want to make music all day. It makes me happy, but not too happy either, which is a good thing. I don't like being so elevated moodwise that then it drops equally as dramatic.

Thanks to most for your input.

You stopped making sense after this.

Thanks for that poo, just did a proud and loud one, had to leave the room though, yep that bad haha

What are you doing there?

Just talked to her about the above mentioned situation this morning, and like with every negative thing we encounter about eachother—we listen to eachother and resolve it. And yes I call her out on things all the time, and I've called her boastful before and to stop making things about her. She can also be very honest with me and dish it out but has a hard time being criticized and cries about it. Literally. She will also gossip behind people's backs, like saying my mum looks old and got really angry with me when I joked that I told my mum she said that about her. I tell her that it's alright to miss out sometimes, you don't have to always win or do everything there is to do or think you aren't loved just because I don't give you attention. So yeah, I'm very honest with her. Anyways, I'm digressing again.

No, I'm not projecting any of my short comings at all, matter of fact—I like that she's done so much and is driven to do more, to add—I have my own interests, work endeavors and hobbies that I feel quite satisfied with having done, it's a whole different thing though when it becomes consistent and unwarranted, the constant need for sharing her achievements, travel stories and what restaurants she's been to, that is. There's other traits that follow suit, like she's overly friendly, especially with the opposite sex and she's expressed to me that that is very important to her, attention and affection. I trust her with everything though, she's a good egg, but insecurity definitely seems to be a thing for me to consider. I digress though, this post is about boasting/bragging and making things about oneself.

Sure, but I'm not the one bragging and making situations about me so not sure how that makes me have low self esteem? ?

How do you mean? Elaborate please. I should add that we've been together for 6 months so there's nothing "casual" about it—we live together also and I have feelings for her, so there's plenty of emotion there.

So my current girlfriend is quite the Fomo type, and I just can't stand that aspect of her, she's also very competitive and is quite dominant. Loves to be in charge and plan everything. She reckons she's super ambitious, but I don't see the fruits of that label, because she doesn't have anything to show for it, as in money or a house. She has also traveled to quite a few destinations and loves to go on about that. Europe, UK, SE Asia and Hawaii. She has a travel map in her room with pins on it! I mean, OK. We'll be driving along and she'll come out with; "I've been there!" pointing out the place/restaurant, this gets old to me. It comes across as bragging or boasting. Ugh. Last night in the car I was saying how I just found out the show Outlander is also a book, and she said; "I know. Do you want to know how I know? I said yeah, sure. "Well because I travelled to Scotland, and went to a graveyard that the story mentions and I took a photo with Fraser's tombstone." I just wanted to vom right then and there, the way she said it just made her sound like such a douchebag. A simple, yeah it's a book could've been enough—the boasting just does my head in. Don't get me wrong, there's lots to like about her, but what really bothers me is how she turns some conversations/situations about her and where she's been/done. It's like she gets a kick out of it. I'm quite the opposite, I hate talking about myself and achievements or whatever else, unless asked. So, why do people boast? Or make situations about them and their achievements? BTW, I'm not insecure, it's more that she does it lots and with a really boastful tone. I'm not sure if any of her friends have told her anything about it or how they put up with it but jesus I hate it.

I'd like to know people's take on network marketing or however else it may be called. I've been approached by my friend and has given me a little insight into what he calls "my business" I thought it was all a crock of shit and hyped up self improvement stuff but it doesn't really seem like a pyrimid scheme to me — because you're given a time frame of 5-10 years to "duplicate" your business in other people "downline" they call it its set up so you buy stuff (that you normally would anyway ie. toothpaste) from a company Amway it's called I believe and you get a cut of the sales through points... And go up their ranks, you're investing and hoping to get others on board. Well that's what I got so far... The numbers and financial stuff is still a little unclear but what are your thoughts or experience with this stuff. I heard stuff like "pipeline income" and retire in 10 years from your current job and "financially independence"... Love to hear your opinion. Is it all bullshit?

Loving it man!!