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drillkicker

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drillkicker last won the day on May 21 2020

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About drillkicker

  • Birthday 03/15/1997

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    https://letterboxd.com/ieleibowitz/

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  1. Q: How much jazz do you need before it's no longer jazz? A:
  2. No, I hear what they're gonna say at the same time that they're saying it. But I honestly can't stand when I can hear a song's melody in advance. When that starts happening it's a sign that I've listened to something too many times and I have to find something new. That's why I like really crazy atonal jazz, it's the music that I'm least likely to predict by accident.
  3. I audiate when I listen to unwell street dwellers bellowing in the alley outside my window.
  4. I've gone months without listening to music and it's a lot like this. I should really try depriving myself of things again.
  5. Why is the whole website only one board now? I hate it.
  6. Sorry to start all this shit and then leave. I ended up going to a 4th of July rave underneath I-95 and channeled all of my negative energy into awesome dance moves. It was one of the coolest nights of my life. I got drunk beyond belief and made out with some girl in a public swimming pool. It's still pretty hazy. Edit: by "public" I mean that we found a gap in the fence lol
  7. For the record, I don't get the feeling that anyone is avoiding me. I think they just don't care about me very much or they're too busy with other stuff. People go out of their way to tell me things like "I'm here for you" and "you fit in" but they just don't go out of their way to invite me to things unless I happen to be around or some other chance occurrence happens. I feel like I'm just an afterthought. I'm a background character who nobody really thinks about. The really shitty part is that I used to be in situations where I had people who really cared about me and would go out of their way to do shit with me all the time but they all just drifted away over time.
  8. Life is just too much. It isn't for me.
  9. Both of these posts are fucking cool as heck and awesome as shit
  10. I play acoustic guitar, and mostly do bluesy finger picking type stuff these days. I wish I knew. I've asked one of my (at the time) closest and most honest friends if there's something wrong with me that I can't see and I couldn't get anything out of her. She's not the type to withhold that sort of stuff, either. Maybe she couldn't see it, or maybe it's just that there's something wrong with the way I socialize. It's also possibly because my friends are all the people who were slackers and wackos in our teenage years and they've all either gotten even wackier or even lazier. I had to stop communicating with some of them because they got too crazy, but then that only leaves the people who don't give a shit about anything. The other problem is that I can't relate to most people I meet. I like people who I can talk about philosophy and biology with, but most people like to talk about the latest news about the president (yes, even the people who went to college and got degrees in philosophy and biology). I can't stand hearing about that shit. Everybody in america has a fucking stupid and shitty take on politics and ethics and it fucking pisses me off when I have to hear about it. I've always believed that everybody should be homeless for at least a year because I think most people would stop making such a fuss over inane bullshit like voting. I'm sandwiched right in between two generations of total fucking squares. Also I don't have any social media like snapchat or tiktok and I think most people my age do their communication through there. I'd rather be lonely than install that garbage onto my phone. Edit: before you tell me that I'm lonely because I have an angry or negative personality, I wanna mention that I don't actually say any of this stuff out loud. I'm just venting online because I won't suffer social consequences here. I actually find it easy to like people and get along with them most of the time, but most of them just have too much bullshit that I don't want to deal with any more than I have to.
  11. Nobody wants to play with me, even the people who think I'm good.
  12. I feel like watching myself grow older and more hopeless as I waste my time idling in despair and slacking on every aspect of my life. I want to work a thankless repetitive job to pay rent for an apartment that I never clean, that I only use to drink and pass out after the work day is over.
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