Alright , seeing as how I feel like you guys and I really are at ease with each other now...
This one didn't actually get to the dating thing but we were swapping nice messages , a little flirty banter , you know. His name was Alec and he had an epic beard and he seemed charming . He sent me a picture of his dog . Lovely. Then another pic of the dog . Okay . Then another...
Turns out he was looking for a 'pedigree chum ' for his pooch. Not only that he told me his ex wife had been on more than stroking terms with the animal.
So obviously , I'm a little bit miffed by this.
"So where would you be while I'm being seen to by your dog then? Filming it??" I texted furiously.
*I'm not a f*ckin' sicko u cheeky c*** !" he texted back.
(I'd just like to point out that I am not interested at all in any type of relationship with anything or anybody whose idea of personal hygiene involves licking their own arse . Thank you.)