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jhonny

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Posts posted by jhonny

  1. My predictions for release day:

    • At 00:01 GMT all pre ordered copies magically appear in people's houses.
    • However, when played these copies do nothing but play an infinite loop of Lornaderek.
    • People start complaining on the internet.
    • bleep.com disappears
    • The Aphex Twin and Warp facebook pages redirect to warp.net which is now just a picture of Richard's big toe.
    • WATMM goes mental
    • Hours go by
    • Nothing happens
    • At 14:04 all the cool idm people hear a voice in their head
    • 'Come to scotland, find me.'
    • Mass transit of people to scotland
    • Drawn to a voice coming from a large house in a small, sweet village
    • An enormous crowd gathers round the house
    • Most people arrive confused and talking, but as time goes by everyone becomes silent
    • When the last hints of sound have gone, the front door opens
    • Richard steps out
    • He's not wearing anything except sandals, his now-enormous beard covers his whole body
    • Everyone looks on in awe
    • Richard stares ahead, to the south, with a small smile on his face
    • He starts to walk
    • As he moves the crowd parts to make room and then begins to follow him
    • The group walks the entire length of england and makes it to the southern coast
    • A boat is waiting
    • Tom Jenkinson and Skrillex are aboard
    • Tears appear in their eyes when they spot RDJ
    • Richard momentarily leaves the ground and floats up to the boat
    • He lands on the deck and turns around to address the crowd
    • 'We are heading for the bermuda triangle. Be patient.'
    • The crowd is confused and starting to murmur, but Richard just turns around and the boat sets sail with Tom at the wheel
    • As it shrinks into the horizon people start to head home
    • Little do they know what is to come
    • After a few hours the boat anchors down in the center of the triangle
    • Skrillex stops feeding grapes to Richard and dress him in scuba gear
    • Richard silently salutes the two, before diving backwards off the boat
    • Tom and Skrillex do a collab
    • Richard slowly falls to the seabed
    • Once there he searches for the mythical door built by the people of Atlantis
    • He finds it an opens it
    • Inside is the most complex sound system in the world
    • Richard knows what to do
    • He rummages around in his beard, searching for the Syro master
    • He finds it
    • He heads towards a simple record player in the middle of the room
    • He puts the record down
    • The needle falls
    • It begins to play
    • There is only silence as the music starts to make it's way to the Earth's core
    • Once there it collects in a joyful pool of bliss
    • Richard heads towards a large unmarked button
    • His face slowly changes to a Windowlicker-style grin
    • He rests his finger on the button
    • And presses it
    • This sends a signal to the core, causing the music to spread outwards in every direction
    • It races up to the surface, and suddenly, simultaneously, all over the world, Syro begins to play from the ground
    • People rejoice
    • The recession ends
    • All food now tastes delicious
    • Disabled people stand up and dance
    • The rain ends, permanently, but crops spring up out of nowhere all over the planet
    • There is no more crime
    • There is no more pain
    • Just Syro, and happiness
    • Inside the vault, the soundwaves cause Richard's body to disintegrate
    • His work is already done though
    • A new era has arrived for the human races
    • People stop complaining on the internet
    amazing. simply amazing.
  2. One of my local record stores had Exai on their shelves a couple of days before the release, but maybe that wasn't as "highly street date sensitive"?

     

    Even if it doesn't "leak", when Australia, New Zealand and a couple of European countries get Syro on Friday, that means by Thursday night/Friday morning European time someone will probably have already shared it, and if I can I'll be listening to it over the weekend and not waiting until Monday to be honest. What's the reasoning behind those staggered release dates anyway?

    I guess some indie stores want to jump the gun a little bit - online pre orders sometimes come early but also they sometimes come late (Blerp) so maybe if they get a little bit of a local reputation for getting albums out sneakily then that's no bad thing for your local independent vinyl retailer.

  3.  

    If there are region issues, download Hola for Chrome.

    Thanks to this, I'm now watching Grand Designs, instead of getting my work done. A house on a cliff???? whhaaatttt??????? NO!!

     

    I bet Kevin calls it a heap of shite before slamming the front door as he leaves and the house subsides into the raging sea, burying the occupiers and leaving their children with a triple mortgage.

  4.  

     

     

     

    first track is extremely imminent...

     

    shit what time they gonna stream this??

     

    Saturday?

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/6music/playlist

     

    Would make sense that it's premiered at some point (evening show) this week and added to the playlist from Sat.

     

    I'd keep an eye out for DJs promoting that they're going to drop a new Aphex Twin. It won't be completely out of the blue. Likely suspects include Mark Riley or Gideon Coe either tonight or tomorrow. Friday they're live at Bestival.

  5. Musical Minds

     

    8/10

     

    A documentary about two guys who are autistic and host a local TV music review show called Hot Tracks. Vice have just written an article about them http://www.vice.com/read/monica-heisey-musical-minds-123/

     

    Think Wayne's World mixed with Napoleon Dynamite. The show is hilarious, and the documentary really interesting. It's free to watch here:

     

    Documentary -

     

    Hot Tracks youtube clips - https://www.youtube.com/user/Aceinyourface

  6. London next Friday? I could make that.

     

    "And your name is?"

     

    "Jasond-...

     

     

    errr..

     

     

    Sean Booth"

    "And your occupation?"

     

    "I make...

     

    I mean I work...

     

     

     

     

    ...in Lush"

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