flim

They're breaded fries :)

This was my lunch today. I have had jury duty all week and almost fell asleep in the courtroom after eating this. Just a burger with bacon, egg, lettuce, onion, and cheese. But damn good.

I just specifically like correcting people who say "I don't do drugs" because it's usually one of the most ill-informed statements one can utter. What they usually mean is "I don't partake in the ones that have the social stigma, but I drink like a fish, take Ambien to fall asleep, and gobble Zoloft & smoke cigarettes all day to drown out how much my life without weed sucks." Flim seems alright, though. Maybe if you got some proper nutrients you'd be in a better mood and it wouldn't bother you as much. I'm currently looking into finding a therapist, and they'll likely suggest that I start taking meds for depression, so if I go for that, I won't be able to make the statement that I don't take drugs at all. And I guess I already can't because everyone has proven me wrong, especially since I do take things when I'm sick.

People like to catch you in a lie or try to pick your logic apart.

Okay. I guess I don't. My weight fluctuates all the time because of it.

I don't smoke. I don't smoke. I have never done a drug of any sort. You've never even had a beer or coffee? I've had coffee before. No alcohol. I considered myself straightedge for many years, and now I just don't have any desire to do it. No sugar either? Well, I don't consider sugar to be a drug. Making a casual distinction between all these things sort of implies a low level of understanding of biology. Not that I care if you use drugs. Just find it interesting when people make these distinctions. I like understanding how they justify their viewpoints to themselves. Ideology and that. Never really talked to a straight edge person. Wow, low level understanding of biology. Huh. Okay, well, I eat and drink some sweet things. I don't smoke, drink alcohol, snort, sniff, inject. I don't drink alcohol because my stepdad was an alcoholic. I just choose not to do other things. As I stated earlier, yes, I am addicted to all kinds of pleasurable things. I was really just talking about substances that people generally consider to be a drug.

Is that considered drug use?

You've never even had a beer or coffee? I've had coffee before. No alcohol. I considered myself straightedge for many years, and now I just don't have any desire to do it. Well then you've done one of the most popular drugs in the western world, the glorious legal speed known as caffeine! Also, going by how many gaming handles you have listed under your username, you seem to be quite fond of the excessive dopamine released through the correlation of simple button presses & audio visual reward stimuli more commonly referred to as video games. Well, yes, those are my drugs. Also, music and food. So.... I'm addicted to many things, just not "drugs." The two times I've had coffee, I pretty much hated it. And they were of the dessert-type.

I don't smoke. I don't smoke. I have never done a drug of any sort. You've never even had a beer or coffee? I've had coffee before. No alcohol. I considered myself straightedge for many years, and now I just don't have any desire to do it. No sugar either? Well, I don't consider sugar to be a drug. Ha, nope.

I don't smoke. I don't smoke. I have never done a drug of any sort. You've never even had a beer or coffee? I've had coffee before. No alcohol. I considered myself straightedge for many years, and now I just don't have any desire to do it.

Super Mario 3D World is a 'proper' Mario game - and a really, really good one. It should be the de-facto pack-in for the Wii U. Joyrex knows what's up.

I don't smoke. I don't smoke. I have never done a drug of any sort.

with pleasure: lol lol lol lel https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86d0r-3fmxg WOLOLOLOLOLOL

with pleasure: lol lol lol lel top lel

I may just have preferred 3D land + 3D world over the galaxy games..Need to replay the galaxy games actually. It's been a while now and i'd like to have a fresher perspective. Agreed tho that a big, full pledged 3d mario game is warranted. Mario is normally the flagship console title so maybe theyre holding out for the next system seeing as the wii u has its share of mario titles. 3D World is all I need. I had so much fun with that game that I really don't desire a new Mario game this gen unless it's a sequel to that one.

I resolve to be better in this next year. A friend drove 2 hours to see me twice in less than a week because she was afraid I was going to kill myself. Ha. No need to do something like that. I'm going to shake this shit off and see where I am this time next year.

If you can get it......

Me too, bro. you guys are to me, core watmm members, if you were in my vicinity you'd get an hug and a meal any day of the week (whether you'd need this kind of probably strange but nevertheless fun and exciting experience well, buck up legends, experience the dleetr luvf [-; ['-] ;-] .. many have tried to be disappointed and failed.) Thanks, delet. That means a lot. I'll get through this eventually......

Me too, bro.

And that really is something to be proud of. I am truly happy for you, logakght. I do think I'm pretty good at my job. I did my boss' job for 1.5 years but was never promoted. I talk to him about what his goals are and what strategies he's thinking of, trying to challenge him all the time, but he's actually not very smart and he just talks in circles. It's completely useless to talk to him. Most everyone knows I'm handling things, but the people who matter (the GM and director) have given him a pass, which really seems like they don't want to admit they made a mistake instead of promoting me, or that it was their intention the whole time to hire a figurehead while they keep me where I am doing all the work without having to pay me more or give me a new title. I don't know if I'll regret not telling her how I feel. Perhaps, but I'd rather regret it than do it and then have our relationship change for the worst. I already know that she doesn't feel the same as I do, so I think it will be a waste of time. Will our friendship end if I tell her so? Probably not, but it WILL change. It will be awkward with that knowledge out there and we will most likely drift apart afterward. I'd rather not deal with that. Who is your work ethic for? There's your boss who's an idiot. There's you whom it doesn't help. At the end of the day, your work should be there for you, not the other way round. ‘Work’ or ‘work ethic’ is not a being anybody cares about. It's an abstract idea. Without people who give you credit for that, it's absolutely nothing. Actually it's less than nothing. Pursuing an idea that is very harmful to you is actually nothing but stupid, and I hope you know that I don't mean that as an insult. Who knows, maybe, if you quit your job and they see your department goes downhill once your boss doesn't have you anymore, they'll realize they want you. Last night I watched an episode of Louie, season 4, where Louie is heart-broken and asks a doctor in his building for help. He calls Louie an idiot and tells him that that is what love is about: being able to feel a big amount of pain. Having a state of mind where you care about someone, even if that means you're in pain, is by far better than not caring about anybody. Now I personally think that's 99% bullshit, but maybe you get something out of it. You can never compare two situations but I once told a schoolmate of mine that I was ‘more or less’ in love with her even though I knew there was nothing to be won there. In a way I didn't even want a relationship because I knew that that wouldn't work. It became awkward for a few weeks, I'll admit that, but it changed back to a great relationship again and she's one of the few people from school I am still in contact with. It was a huge relief to me and perhaps, it's the only thing that will make it possible for you to let go. It's risky of course but at least I personally don't know cases where it worked great to try to live with it. ......I've always thought my work ethic was for myself, just a sense of "righteousness," something to be proud of, but you're right. It's not doing me any good at all. What is it all for? I don't know. I dream of quitting every day, but I honestly don't know what I'd do next. I have had no luck even being called in for interviews. I've applied for countless jobs and revised my resume many times, but to no avail. Quitting without a plan B isn't appealing at all. I do want to tell her how I feel, but I am so afraid of the outcome. I wouldn't be telling her with the hopes of starting a romantic relationship. I think I'd do her a disservice. She's much more experienced in life than I am and has done a whole lot for her age. I know she's out of my league there. Other than for catharsis, I don't know why I'd risk losing the pleasant relationship we have right now just to make myself feel better, and I'm not even sure it would make me feel better. She'd say, "That's very sweet but we're just friends." And then I'd continue to love her as we grow apart. We currently talk on the phone for hours. That would come to an end. We'd speak much less, she'd be apprehensive to confide in me, and then she'd eventually stop talking to me entirely. That has been my experience with everyone I've cared about in my life. I just don't want to go through it again :( ...And I'm terribly sorry about this. I just needed to say something about how I'm feeling because I have no one to turn to.....

And that really is something to be proud of. I am truly happy for you, logakght. I do think I'm pretty good at my job. I did my boss' job for 1.5 years but was never promoted. I talk to him about what his goals are and what strategies he's thinking of, trying to challenge him all the time, but he's actually not very smart and he just talks in circles. It's completely useless to talk to him. Most everyone knows I'm handling things, but the people who matter (the GM and director) have given him a pass, which really seems like they don't want to admit they made a mistake instead of promoting me, or that it was their intention the whole time to hire a figurehead while they keep me where I am doing all the work without having to pay me more or give me a new title. I don't know if I'll regret not telling her how I feel. Perhaps, but I'd rather regret it than do it and then have our relationship change for the worst. I already know that she doesn't feel the same as I do, so I think it will be a waste of time. Will our friendship end if I tell her so? Probably not, but it WILL change. It will be awkward with that knowledge out there and we will most likely drift apart afterward. I'd rather not deal with that.

......I've been so messed up lately. I've been spending a lot of money on things trying to make myself feel better, but it's not working. People have been saying it's "the holiday blues," but I don't think it's as simple as that. It all boils down to the fact that I hate my job so much and I'm going absolutely nowhere. I've been doing my manager's work for him while he gets all the credit. Common sense would tell you to cut that shit out, but it's almost like I don't have a choice. A strong work ethic and a belief in some so-called company mission keeps me from letting my department slip behind. Last week, we had two big projects that I handled completely and put my heart into, and I didn't even get a thank you email, but the boss gets shit like "Thanks to his great ideas and leadership...," things that aren't true in the slightest. I almost beat the fuck out of him on Friday. So I'm just internalizing all of this stuff and it's taking a toll on me. I haven't slept well in ages, I've lost 15 pounds in the past 1.5 months due to not being able to eat a whole lot, and I can't concentrate on anything. Another problem that I'm having is that I (think) I'm in love with a woman I've gotten pretty close to at work, and since I've never been the best at expressing my feelings about these things, I am keeping that inside because I am afraid that our friendship will stall/end if I inject something like that. I value having a person to talk to and confide in over having a romantic relationship, so I'm just going to let it go. But it feels terrible. Also, there's always the looming specter of death when we speak.... she has cancer and is in a wheelchair. That's something that I can't reconcile in my head, but she's such a wonderful person, and I value her so much. She's the first thing I think about in the morning and the last I think of before I go to bed. ............It's XMAS EVET10. I shouldn't be thinking about this. But I have to spend time with my family tomorrow and I'm dreading it. Giving gifts to people who don't deserve them and don't really seem to give a fuck about me for the majority of the year is all kinds of appalling. But I do care for my family and always want them to be happy, even if I'm not.

Damn, now I want a gyro.

I wonder why people hate the Gamepad so much. I haven't had any issue with it. I thought I would need to play Bayonetta 2 with the Pro because it feels more like the 360 controller, but trying to play the game with both, I realized that the Gamepad was much more comfortable to me. I kept missing the buttons on the Pro because it's so similar to the 360's controller and expecting the buttons to be in the same place, but the placement is completely different. I guess it's a matter of preference, but I haven't found a single Wii U game that I prefer using the Pro to play.