I can't tell if i actually enjoy the break from weed or not. A few weeks in now, letting myself drink one night a week but now that's not even enjoyable cause the whole time it feels like it's missing some weed to top it off. And I spent the past few entire few weeks just playing video games to distract myself from hittin the ganj. I wish I had better control like I do with alcohol. But as soon as I start again, it's the first thing I do when I get home from work. But I do tend spend more time making art, even if it's mostly shit lol, at least it feels productive. Do I truck on sober or say fuck it and continue my career of being high everyday? I was so looking forward to tonight for a drink and it was such a let down, but I know if I hit the vape I have lying around I'm back to using it everyday. Which means overeating, sensitive eyes, feeling tired all the time, etc, but..MUSIC SOUNDS GREAT AND ART IS FUN. hmmm. fuck maybe i should just switch to meth, best of both worlds. Productivity and self-hating.