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http://clientsfromhell.net/ Holy shit I feel for these people: ME: Alright, I’ve looked over your business proposal. I agree that there is some editing to be done so that it appears more professional. Here is an outline of the work I’ll do, a timeline estimate, and a cost estimate. CLIENT: Go ahead and do the work you outlined. The timeline estimation works for me as well. ME: How about the price? Do we officially agree on that number? The client doesn’t reply to the email. I resend. Again, no reply. ME: I’d like to have a full agreement in place before I get started, since we’re doing this all through e-mail. CLIENT: Do the work, and then we’ll discuss the price. ME: Would you like a two-page sample to give you an idea of my work before we confirm the price? CLIENT: Just do the work, get it back to me, I’ll review it, and if it’s what I want, then we can talk price. ME: I think we might be having a bit of a communication problem, so let’s be clear. You want me to do the work, send the edited copy back to you, and then we’ll discuss and agree on the price? CLIENT: Yes, that’s how it works. ME: I’m a little uncomfortable with that. I don’t mind if you pay me in installments, or half now-half when complete, but it’s a little too much to ask for me to finish the project before I have any guarantee that I’ll be paid the amount I’m asking, or any amount at all. CLIENT: Well, you won’t be paid if I don’t like what you’ve done. ME: All I’d be doing is editing for technical issues such as typos, grammar, sentence clarity, and suggesting any structural changes. It’s a straight-forward edit, which is why I’d like to set a fixed price. CLIENT: I want to see the finished work before we discuss payment. ME: I want to discuss payment before I start the project. "How come the website doesn’t look as nice as the design proofs your agency sent us?" — Attached to the email is a screenshot of the website in Windows 98 - IE6 - 800x600 CLIENT: The background is baby blue! I want business! American bank blue! Like Bank of America! After many variations of royal blue, I even tried sending her a screenshot of the design next to Bank of America’s logo to prove that I was lifting the exact color off their logo. CLIENT: I want royal blue! NOT BABY BLUE! This looks an ad for infants clothing! (By the way, this is an open house event for her business management classes) CLIENT: You know what, just make it navy blue, navy blue is a very dark blue. I send it to her with a navy background CLIENT: This is still baby blue! In desperation, I send a gradient of navy to black CLIENT: You finally have blue on the bottom but the top is still too light "You are obviously only in this for the money; it’s obvious by how desperate you are for a budget before starting work. And if you’re that desperate, you should be willing to take on any job, pay or not."
Today I was diagnosed with hyperventilation syndrome which has supposedly lead to the 4-5 anxiety attacks I've had over the last month. Let me tell you that those attacks fucking suck, dreadful experiences - like I'm dying. But I'm positive, so I'll be good. I'm supposed to undergo psychomotor physiotherapy, which should be interesting. I hope people around here don't have to experience these kinds of attacks, they really do your head and body in. OK, just wanted to share and ventilate. Thank you for reading.