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  1. http://clientsfromhell.net/ Holy shit I feel for these people: ME: Alright, I’ve looked over your business proposal. I agree that there is some editing to be done so that it appears more professional. Here is an outline of the work I’ll do, a timeline estimate, and a cost estimate. CLIENT: Go ahead and do the work you outlined. The timeline estimation works for me as well. ME: How about the price? Do we officially agree on that number? The client doesn’t reply to the email. I resend. Again, no reply. ME: I’d like to have a full agreement in place before I get started, since we’re doing this all through e-mail. CLIENT: Do the work, and then we’ll discuss the price. ME: Would you like a two-page sample to give you an idea of my work before we confirm the price? CLIENT: Just do the work, get it back to me, I’ll review it, and if it’s what I want, then we can talk price. ME: I think we might be having a bit of a communication problem, so let’s be clear. You want me to do the work, send the edited copy back to you, and then we’ll discuss and agree on the price? CLIENT: Yes, that’s how it works. ME: I’m a little uncomfortable with that. I don’t mind if you pay me in installments, or half now-half when complete, but it’s a little too much to ask for me to finish the project before I have any guarantee that I’ll be paid the amount I’m asking, or any amount at all. CLIENT: Well, you won’t be paid if I don’t like what you’ve done. ME: All I’d be doing is editing for technical issues such as typos, grammar, sentence clarity, and suggesting any structural changes. It’s a straight-forward edit, which is why I’d like to set a fixed price. CLIENT: I want to see the finished work before we discuss payment. ME: I want to discuss payment before I start the project. "How come the website doesn’t look as nice as the design proofs your agency sent us?" — Attached to the email is a screenshot of the website in Windows 98 - IE6 - 800x600 CLIENT: The background is baby blue! I want business! American bank blue! Like Bank of America! After many variations of royal blue, I even tried sending her a screenshot of the design next to Bank of America’s logo to prove that I was lifting the exact color off their logo. CLIENT: I want royal blue! NOT BABY BLUE! This looks an ad for infants clothing! (By the way, this is an open house event for her business management classes) CLIENT: You know what, just make it navy blue, navy blue is a very dark blue. I send it to her with a navy background CLIENT: This is still baby blue! In desperation, I send a gradient of navy to black CLIENT: You finally have blue on the bottom but the top is still too light "You are obviously only in this for the money; it’s obvious by how desperate you are for a budget before starting work. And if you’re that desperate, you should be willing to take on any job, pay or not."
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