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Having bought a smart TV today, it has occurred to me that we currently have no thread to confess our sins.  This shall be that thread.  Be not afraid, for your transgressions will be forgiven, after a penance of thorough mockery and facepalming from all of your fellow gonks.  Your confessions may begin, and I welcome you all to deliver the penances due to me.

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Once, I needed pine nuts for some pesto. I saw how expensive they were and ran them through the self check out as salted peanuts instead. 

during the summer of 2016 i found a sandwich on the ground & started eating it & it turned out there were ants in & i kept eating it this happened on more than one occassion

In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max’s toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Ed

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Once, I needed pine nuts for some pesto. I saw how expensive they were and ran them through the self check out as salted peanuts instead. 

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1 hour ago, Hugh Mughnus said:

Once, I needed pine nuts for some pesto. I saw how expensive they were and ran them through the self check out as salted peanuts instead. 

Zesty!

I'll wait for some more posts to gauge the caliber of this operation. Don't wanna be the second guy to confess something, and suddenly everyone goes quiet and exchanges awkward looks.

 

Edit: Like when I try to be funny. "Lol."

Edited by IDEM
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during the summer of 2016 i found a sandwich on the ground & started eating it & it turned out there were ants in & i kept eating it

this happened on more than one occassion

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That triggered a memory for me. I remember as a kid maybe 4 or 5 years old I was given a beef tongue sandwich and I was supposed to eat it outside in the back yard. Horrified at the thought of eating tongue I pulled the meat out and fed it to the ants and just ate the bread and mustard. I’m sure my grandparents paid good money for that tongue 😞

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They weren't supposed to say what it is until after you ate it.  That's the only way to get people hooked on lengua.

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2 hours ago, Hugh Mughnus said:

Once, I needed pine nuts for some pesto. I saw how expensive they were and ran them through the self check out as salted peanuts instead. 

I'm always tempted to do this with any item that's done by weight.  It would be so easy, and no way they'd ever know.  This must be so common.  Now I just need to research what the cheapest by-weight item is in every grocery store I frequent.

Once, in my early 20's, I ate liquorice someone left on a movie theatre seat, unpackaged.  

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beef tongue is pretty dope. tbh i was never particularly squemish about eating unusual parts of animals, even less so after working in a butcher shop for a year

Spoiler

i've eaten some pretty weird shit

 

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But have you ever sucked a cheetah's dick?

I have not.

Fuck, I forgot how uplifting and life-affirming the music of Wesley Willis is.

Edited by Zephyr_Nova
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22 minutes ago, drillkicker said:

They weren't supposed to say what it is until after you ate it.  That's the only way to get people hooked on lengua.

I mean yeah, I probably wouldn't have known if they didn't tell me. I was so young too lol.

11 minutes ago, Cryptowen said:

beef tongue is pretty dope. tbh i was never particularly squemish about eating unusual parts of animals, even less so after working in a butcher shop for a year

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i've eaten some pretty weird shit

 

Wouldn't bother me now that I'm older, I think I was just a kid being a kid (you can't even feed most kids like... broccoli lol)

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8 minutes ago, TubularCorporation said:

I listened to The Eagles on purpose twice this year.

I prefer Don Henley solo.

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I sucked a cheetah's dick... In multiple occasions... 

Edit: on purpose... 

Edited by Tim_J
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3 minutes ago, Extralife said:

I prefer Don Henley solo.

There's a late 80s Don Henley album that's worth like $90 suddenly this year, but I'm forgetting which one.  A record dealer friend texted me about it the other week.

 

EDIT: End Of Innocence - a really clean copy can easily get $50 right now, one of those weird quarantine things like the $100+ Tracy Chapman sales.

Edited by TubularCorporation
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I've been lying about my appreciation of aphex twin... I don't really like it... 

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1 minute ago, TubularCorporation said:

There's a late 80s Don Henley album that's worth like $90 suddenly this year, but I'm forgetting which one.  A record dealer friend texted me about it the other week.

“...Black Flag sticker on a Cadallac...”

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3 hours ago, Hugh Mughnus said:

Once, I needed pine nuts for some pesto. I saw how expensive they were and ran them through the self check out as salted peanuts instead. 

 

49 minutes ago, Zephyr_Nova said:

I'm always tempted to do this with any item that's done by weight.  It would be so easy, and no way they'd ever know.  This must be so common.  Now I just need to research what the cheapest by-weight item is in every grocery store I frequent.


Honestly I think a LOT of bulk food goes out of stores this way.  I'll confess to doing the same all the time with the real chocolate chips vs the fake ones (I mean what did they expect when stocking both? lol)  :trollface:

 

Here's mine: 
I've never listened to All End in its entirety. Not sure if I ever will. 

Edited by toaoaoad
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Just now, Tim_J said:

I've been lying about my appreciation of aphex twin... I don't really like it... 

Get out of here!clint eastwood kids GIF

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3 hours ago, Hugh Mughnus said:

Once, I needed pine nuts for some pesto. I saw how expensive they were and ran them through the self check out as salted peanuts instead. 

These days, pine nuts already qualify as confession material regardless of context.

 

https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/food-and-drink/news/pesto-how-insatiable-demand-pine-nuts-make-sauce-damaging-environment-a6703226.html

I've actually considered starting a thread like this off and on for like a year to make this specific confession, and now that it exists I almost forgot:

 

Whenever people post about BoC I instinctively assume they're talking about Blue Oyster Cult and have to correct myself.

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2 minutes ago, TubularCorporation said:

It's true. There's a very good reason why they're so expensive 😞
You can make decent pesto with just about any other kind of nut. Almonds are good. If you're really on a budget, sunflower seeds work just fine. With all that basil and garlic will you REALLY taste the difference?

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Before she retired my mom was a grocer and developed an in-house pesto for the store where she worked that was so popular rival stores tried to get the recipe, people would come from other parts of the state to get it, and someone at one point tried to get her to start an LLC and bring it to market.

The secret was just make a standard pesto with good ingredients, but use 4x the usual amount of garlic.

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I don't really sympathize with this thread cause there's already one like it... 

Anyway, I like Pearl Jam... 

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The week before the US elections I ordered a 5 pound bag of Haribo bears, and then ate the entire thing during election week.

 

The week after election week wasn't the best but it was worth it.

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