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Funny Autechre Stories

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My mate used to tell me how when he was feeling shitty, he'd get onto a bus and play Confield as loud as he could through massive headphones and cheer himself up seeing other people's reactions.

 

I remember when I got the album myself, actually. A friend at high school bought it me for Christmas. Her favourite band was Westlife. I particularly enjoyed the conversation that started "Er, that CD I bought you. I listened to it when it arrived..."

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Guest VgqepetrahLcwg swr6

My mate used to tell me how when he was feeling shitty, he'd get onto a bus and play Confield as loud as he could through massive headphones and cheer himself up seeing other people's reactions.

 

I remember when I got the album myself, actually. A friend at high school bought it me for Christmas. Her favourite band was Westlife. I particularly enjoyed the conversation that started "Er, that CD I bought you. I listened to it when it arrived..."

 

Lolling right now. :emotawesomepm9:

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Guest ConfieldMilkman

One time me and a friend were really stoned and I told him I had a crazy track for him to hear. I stuck on Uviol and we both sat on the floor listening to it. At the start he was like "Man, that's well chilled out... wow." then when the trippy dying robot noises came on he sat in silence for a while, then suddenly looked up at me with urgent eyes and asked me to turn it off because it was making him "feel like a junkie".

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Guest victorian sewer rituals

One time me and a friend were really stoned and I told him I had a crazy track for him to hear. I stuck on Uviol and we both sat on the floor listening to it. At the start he was like "Man, that's well chilled out... wow." then when the trippy dying robot noises came on he sat in silence for a while, then suddenly looked up at me with urgent eyes and asked me to turn it off because it was making him "feel like a junkie".

 

Hahahahah!!! :emotawesomepm9:

 

Overloaded, he fell back on trained thought.

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Guest Rotwang

I had a class in college where I could name 3 others who were really into Autechre.

was the class physics or computer science?

 

Haha, true. Apart from people I've met at music events/ people I've converted, the only other AE fan I've met IRL was a physics student, as was I. Though I expect you could add "music technology" to your list.

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Guest IGOR90

pretty sure i'm the only ''serbian language'' student who's into ae

 

anyway,when i played some cipater and then rsdio to my roommate he said:man,i know you listen to some strange music,but this is just..TOO strange,but..he didn't said he didn't like it,i think because,he's been exposed to a lot of electronic music for the past 3 or 4 months...i'm trying to keep my speakers busy as much as possible,even when he is at home :cool: -by the way he into nickleback,boston,bryan adams... :facepalm:

 

about three days after that our friend came and we smoked some,and then all of a sudden he said:hey play that robotic shamanic orchestra you played to me three days ago i want that so bad! i was thinking..wtf?i remember playing some ae to him,but surely that can't be what he asked for???i played rsdio,and he started :music: and told me:this is so cool i think i finally got it! i was on 7th heaven for the rest of the night

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Guest bacteriatastic

i wanted to test my brother's old CD player just to see if it worked. I went and grabbed a random CD from my drawer. It was EP7, and Rpeg started to play...

 

my brother: it skips, i knew it. throw it away.

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Guest inamorty

Somehow, we've ended up with the tradition of playing

at BBQs when the beer is running low and it's time to move on to spirits. One time heir DJ duties fell into my lap. I played what i thought was the most natural follow up in 6IE.CR

All I can say is that it was the best fucking food fight ever.

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I want my child to be born into a room with a huge stereo system playing Sublimit as loud as possible.

And I want the delivery nurse to be a robot that pulsates in sync with the music, similar to Gantz_Graf.

 

You are on to something here. The child should then be put directly on a conveyer belt that takes him through a multicolored fiber optic tube into the Maternabot chamber (which it reaches by about 10:00 minutes in).

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I was in class yesterday and the professor was telling us about these assignments we have to do where we review experimental design/graphic kinda work and he's going through a list of things we should check out and I thought I was hallucinating (it's a 4 hour class) when I saw the GANTZ GRAF video on the REQUIRED VIEWING list!!?? He spelled it wrong (ganz graf :facepalm:), but still.. awesome! I was going crazy on the inside! Also says we're going to view it in class... can't wait for that.

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I was in class yesterday and the professor was telling us about these assignments we have to do where we review experimental design/graphic kinda work and he's going through a list of things we should check out and I thought I was hallucinating (it's a 4 hour class) when I saw the GANTZ GRAF video on the REQUIRED VIEWING list!!?? He spelled it wrong (ganz graf :facepalm:), but still.. awesome! I was going crazy on the inside! Also says we're going to view it in class... can't wait for that.

 

" 'Ganz' Graf" makes me think someone should mash up a movie starring Bruno Ganz, like Downfall, with the Gantz Graf music video.

 

Not really, though

 

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It's an easy typo to make.

 

Gantz is the way you pronounce the German word "ganz" which means "complete" or "a lot".

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Guest LonelyMachines

Actually, I have AE to thank for helping get rid of a rather horrid person who's been bothering us at work for quite some time.

 

He's an old burnout sort, very pushy and time-consuming. We've been trying to get rid of him in a subtle way, because telling him he's a bigoted crackpot would likely only result in hysterical drama.

 

This guy once claimed that Albert Einstein plagiarized the theory of relativity because "that's what Jews do." He believes that the Zionist Occupation Government is secretly guiding world affairs.* Yes, he's that obnoxious.

 

Anyhow, he complained because we were once playing Zappa. The next time, he complained because we were playing Art Blakey. I swear, there's no pleasing some people. Thursday, he came in and we were listening to the last track on Move of Ten. He looked around and said, "what the f__k is this?"

 

Me: "Mittens!"

 

Him: "No, seriously. Every time I come in here, you're playing some kind of f__ked up music."

 

Me: "Waffles!"

 

Him: "No, I...I mean, what the f__k? Are you high?"

 

Me: "Sir, I'll thank you not to swear. There's women present!"

 

Him: "Then stop f__king with me."

 

Me: "The End Times are coming. Why worry?"

 

Him: "No they aren't..."

 

Me: "You told me they were. That's why you said you were building a bunker."

 

Him: "Yeah, but..."

 

Me: "We could share the bunker and listen to this. Maybe we could cuddle."

 

Him: "No! I just don't want to listen to music that makes me feel like..."

 

Me: "So cuddling is out?"

 

Him: "F__K YOU!"

 

I haven't seen him since then. Cep puiqMX is now my favorite piece of music ever.

 

* This comment so amused a Jewish employee that he made up an imaginary flow-chart showing the extent of the "conspiracy." Apparently, all the governments of the world are in thrall to Jackie Mason.

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I was blasting Cep puixMX reeeeeallly fucking loud when one of my roommates comes home (a girl, who listens to radio pop music). It was during one of those huge screaming descending notes and she said it sounded like the soundtrack to the coming apocalypse.

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I was in class yesterday and the professor was telling us about these assignments we have to do where we review experimental design/graphic kinda work and he's going through a list of things we should check out and I thought I was hallucinating (it's a 4 hour class) when I saw the GANTZ GRAF video on the REQUIRED VIEWING list!!?? He spelled it wrong (ganz graf :facepalm:), but still.. awesome! I was going crazy on the inside! Also says we're going to view it in class... can't wait for that.

 

" 'Ganz' Graf" makes me think someone should mash up a movie starring Bruno Ganz, like Downfall, with the Gantz Graf music video.

 

Not really, though

 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r51EPkzNxC8

 

Yet another Gantz, it's a pretty good anime series too

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Playing Draft 7.30 and Quaristice in the back at restaraunt I used to work for one day, one of the cooler guys who worked out on the line would come in the back and go up front again while setting up for the day. He came in every so often between orders in the slower early morning as the albums progressed on play. Each time he'd pause and listen for a minute and make a really perplexed face... his comment at first was "Whoa... what is this?" then eventually to "Things don't normally make these sounds", "Are they sampling a train?" and "What is this now, that's kinda creepy" ... He listened to some electronic music before but never really anything even half as experimental as Autechre. I think he kinda dug it, but still didn't really understand it fully.

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Guest LonelyMachines
"Things don't normally make these sounds"

I don't think I've ever heard a more succinct appraisal of Autechre's music!

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I was in class yesterday and the professor was telling us about these assignments we have to do where we review experimental design/graphic kinda work and he's going through a list of things we should check out and I thought I was hallucinating (it's a 4 hour class) when I saw the GANTZ GRAF video on the REQUIRED VIEWING list!!?? He spelled it wrong (ganz graf :facepalm:), but still.. awesome! I was going crazy on the inside! Also says we're going to view it in class... can't wait for that.

well that sounds nice. I can forgive him the ganz graf typo, but... David Cronneberg? NEVER.

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Guest HWNDarkside

Autechre dream.

 

Gary Lineker and Mark Lawrenson are in the Match Of The Day studio, they've just finished Goal Of The Month. Lineker turns from camera to Lawrenson,

 

"Tough game for Liverpool this weekend then Mark, I bet you were on the edge of your seat"

 

"I was" says Lawrenson, "but I wasn't at the game..."

 

Camera zooms in on Lawrenson (looking particularly orange this week). He smiles a big white-toothed smile. The light sparkles off his chompers.

 

Camera fades to black. Lawrenson's teeth are barely visable. Camera fades back. His face comes back into picture. Same smile, but his eyes are saucers - he is obviously totally mashed-up.

 

Camera pans back. Lawrenson is sitting alone, grinning, in the royal box of a darkened theatre.

 

It goes pitch black.

 

"Now this is what it's all about" he sneers, "AUTECHRE!!"

 

A massive bassline fires up. Strobe lighting dancing across his now manically smiling face.

 

Scattershot snares and hats echo around the theatre accompanied by green lazer bursts

 

"COME ON!!!" he screams, punching a tightly clenched fist into the air.

 

Camera pans back and across the stage. In amongst the darkness you can make out 2 blurry figures hunched over a couple of laptops.

 

I wake up.

 

The thing that really freaked me out, the thing that popped into my head the moment I woke up. He called them "Au-tek-ruh". Not "Aut-tek-er"

 

What a twat, I thought.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vy0Dhj7dwYg

 

that was the start of my funny storaey.

 

i like maynards "WTF" comment when the other dude finished talking about AE's vid!

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so nth dafuseder.b, ipacial section, and bine walk into a bar

the barman says 'dbnsclho,chdbdbdDBDB DB DB DB DB DB DB DB db db db db db db dbnsclho,chdbdbd'

autechre tracks go 'wot, r u takin the piss blud?'

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Guest cuntainer

I was in class yesterday and the professor was telling us about these assignments we have to do where we review experimental design/graphic kinda work and he's going through a list of things we should check out and I thought I was hallucinating (it's a 4 hour class) when I saw the GANTZ GRAF video on the REQUIRED VIEWING list!!?? He spelled it wrong (ganz graf :facepalm:), but still.. awesome! I was going crazy on the inside! Also says we're going to view it in class... can't wait for that.

 

" 'Ganz' Graf" makes me think someone should mash up a movie starring Bruno Ganz, like Downfall, with the Gantz Graf music video.

 

Not really, though

 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r51EPkzNxC8

 

Yet another Gantz, it's a pretty good anime series too

 

 

my friend told me to watch gantz, and i'm pretty emotional, when i watch stuff i get pretty involved emotionally, and gantz fucking destroyed my spirit.

 

every fucking character died man, every one. god that killed me.

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