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playbynumbers

WATMM funny quotes thread

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Guest Betty
how nice and romantic. good luck!

Cum on the windowsill after sex, let the morning sun dry it out, scrape it up, powder it, and then snort it off her ass in the morning.

you're coming out with some crazy stuff lately joyrex

Been slow at work

 

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Guest idrn

girl appears on watmm

 

*smooths down hair*

 

*checks breath*

 

*pulls pants out of arse crack*

 

*straightens tie*

 

*pulls balls out from between legs*

 

*checks beard for cornflakes*

 

*qtips ears*

 

*lowers pinky when drinking*

 

*pouts*

 

*checks pocket mirror*

 

*applies lipbalm*

 

*irons shirt*

 

*washes hair*

 

*prepares jokes*

 

*jots it down*

 

*flosses*

 

*mouthwash*

 

*eyebath*

 

*tweasers eyebrow*

 

*pulls back forskin*

 

*dutch courage*

 

*irons underpants*

 

*removes chastity bracelet*

 

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*smooths down hair*

 

*checks breath*

 

*pulls pants out of arse crack*

 

*straightens tie*

 

*pulls balls out from between legs*

 

*checks beard for cornflakes*

 

*qtips ears*

 

*lowers pinky when drinking*

 

*pouts*

 

*checks pocket mirror*

 

*applies lipbalm*

 

*irons shirt*

 

*washes hair*

 

*prepares jokes*

 

*jots it down*

 

*flosses*

 

*mouthwash*

 

*eyebath*

 

*tweasers eyebrow*

 

*pulls back forskin*

 

*dutch courage*

 

*irons underpants*

 

*removes chastity bracelet*

 

 

i am suspicious of chloe s

 

 

you should be, im suspicious of myself..

 

welcome to the board i like your userpic you seem so confident you are a much better member than weed

 

 

Thanks, your very kind!!

 

 

*loses erection*

 

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<!--quoteo(post=1010618:date=Apr 11 2009, 10:03 PM:name=Mirezzi)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Mirezzi @ Apr 11 2009, 10:03 PM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=1010618"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec--><!--quoteo(post=1010612:date=Apr 11 2009, 07:57 PM:name=Fred McGriff)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Fred McGriff @ Apr 11 2009, 07:57 PM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=1010612"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->i would rather be raped by a goat.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

 

 

may06_gallery_51_352x470.jpg

 

<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

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You lot are a bunch of whiny little bitches... I happened to be in the template editor restoring thew unicorn link when I remembered the annoying signature separator, so I removed all the br tags and dashes, and quickly put in an horizontal rule - I'll add some css so you guys can pull your panties outta your asscracks and brush the sand outta your vadges, ffs.

 

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Michael_Essien_498092a.jpg

 

 

Michael_Essien_498092a.jpg

 

 

Michael_Essien_498092a-1.jpg

 

 

michaelessien498092a1.jpg

 

 

That crossed my mind actually. When did it cross yours? Lets see who wins.

 

 

michaelessien2.jpg

 

 

hrthhrhwrh.png

 

jetsjtwhsryrshrthsr.png

 

 

lol ET you massive noob.

 

I had nothing to do with this thread but I lol'd really hard.

Edited by thehauntingsoul

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say_that_to_my_face700.jpg

i dont know why but i lol'd hard at this.

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i've had cats, but none of them have been depressed

 

phil just over spoils his cat so its not used to not having all that man on man attention

 

and his cat is so fat hahahaha ill post pics lata

Spoiled, overweight and needs attention..

idea_bulb.jpg

 

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Guest Mirezzi
I'm not circumsized, apparently an uncircumsized penis can pleasure a woman more than a circumsized one,

 

The theory is that an uncircumcised cock will create more friction. There is a small element of truth in this in that, as alluded to above, it forces you to change technique. I wish I had more empirical evidence, but as my love making skills can best be described as amateurish but enthusiastic, I have consistently disappointed women both pre and post op.

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Guest boo
I have some embarassing personal questions about lube. I'm not going to ask them though , merely meekly hope that by the time I get back from watching the Toon game and eating scampi, there will be a long list of anecdotes that will resolve all my queries.

 

Thanks

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kaini on weed

 

a puckered, rosy anus, stretching to accomodate the turgid dark meat pistoning in and out of the twitching nethers like a jackhammer.

 

edit: twitching nethers

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Guest tidbit
We are fans, not followers of a religion.

 

 

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Guest ms-dos
i just had the idea the other day that the earth is 360 degrees circle and there are 365 days in a year, similar

 

perhaps the earth isn't really 360 degrees, but 365,,, and then pie would make sense cause it would be calculable.

 

wuuu ?

 

Hows the hair?

 

it's affecting my thinking

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essines is right, it's all confidence. i also kind of feel like if you're attractive to girls then you can get away with wearing kind of plain clothes. like a bald guy who is really fit, you aren't going to notice that he's bald, you'll notice that he's fit. what i'm trying to say is that essines is hot.

 

 

 

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so...you use imperial...but you don't use stone?

anybody know what he's talking about? i don't speak fag

 

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from the 'baraka' thread:

 

i thought this thread was going to be about a novelty barack obama maraca.

 

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the fact that a girl doesn't like my hair raises my idm points +11

lol

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Guest Betty
So me and some friends were playing football ('soccer') in the park a few weeks ago. Halfway through the game a group of special educational needs children ('Americans') turned up and wanted to play. Despite the fact its often the case that they are annoyingly attention seeking and prone to a vastly inflated sense of their own importance, we reluctantly agreed to let them join our game. Things were going fine, but after a while they started to pick up the ball and run with it. We politely pointed out that this was against 'the rules', and although the game was largely informal, this wasn't really in the spirit of things. They agreed and the game continued.

 

The following evening the same thing happened. And the following evening. And over the following week. Except that each time we had to point out 'the rules', their response became increasingly anatagonistic, often resorting to personal insults. We even pointed out a game happening just next door that had no rules whatsoever. In fact there were thousands of games occurring all around us, some with rules, some without. But no, they insisted they wanted to play our game, and that if we just gave them one more chance... sure enough they picked up the ball and started running around shouting, "look at me, look at me with the ball in my hands." The person whose ball it belonged to eventually said enough is enough, we no longer want you to play with us, and they sloped off...

 

However, from that point onwards, their carers, who had been watching from the sidelines through all this, started chanting, "Joyrex is an egomaniacal lunatic and fascist." This continued for several days. At first we weren't sure whether they were for real or if they were just taking the mick, but after a while it almost became as annoying as the retards picking up the ball and running with it, so their motivation was largely irrelevant.

 

The funny thing was, it turned out that they had no special needs, but were in fact adults. What both the retards and their carers did seem to lack was any sense of self-awareness whatsoever.

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Guest IRARI
skytree:

 

i never imagined God would would bless me with a love such as this. Me, just a City urchin, cajoled into making the safe choices in life by the dull, soft pressures of a lifetime of meeting expectations. You, a lone orchid rising between the cracks in the concrete....a rare find, a treasure for me to behold. Let us not play these games anymore, with you making gay ass threads about physics and daydreams and me making fun of you. The truth is, I mock you because my love for you burns so hot, were I to set it free, it would yield to nothing and consume everything in its path. But I can no longer hide from one unwavering truth - I need your body. I need to feel its contours. I must smell the mustiness of your thoughtful balls. I refuse to wait another moment to taste that tender, homeschooled rosebud that hides coyly between the mounds of your youthful buttocks.

 

I surrender to you completely. You drape my cock with hemp cloth, slather my balls with organic yogurt and fruit puree. I accept your colossal fucking gayness because it is my desire to meld what is left of myself with the clever little faggot that lurks beneath your skin.

 

I see that the head of your penis is purple now and it stands erect, hissing at me like an aggressive cobra. I will submit to its anger. Plunge it into my waiting stink, like a tree that has taken root in the softest most crap-filled soil. Take me like a dog, pull my hair. Tap on my ass-cheeks like they were two bongos and you are leading the circle in the parking lot before a Rusted Root concert. Your thrusts are so powerful, my cock swings back and forth like a pendulum, slamming against your little hackey sack nuts on every other swing. This ass is a mystical rune for you to decode, and every majestic plunge takes you one step closer to solving its mysteries. I hunger for you to explode into me, filling me with your faggy, self-righteousness.

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jswift:

 

we meet at claridges in london. you are standing next to your aston martin and i step out of a cab and our eyes lock, your elvin features coalescing into something resembling a smile. you take my hand and we walk in to book a penthouse suite for the week. the woman at the front desk says your card has been declined. you raise your eyebrows. "have you heard of terrence mckenna's novelty theory?". the woman stares blankly at you. i have a huge erection, and you move your hand over my crotch and caress it telepathically. the woman asks if you have another card. you pull out a black american express card. "it's my mum's" you say, grinning. she asks for photo id. you tell her you don't have a driver's license. i ask how you drove your aston martin here without a driver's license, and as i do a man in a suit gets into your aston martin and drives off. "that man just stole your car" i say, alarmed. you continue caressing my junk. "oh, that's just cultural dissonance". you're so cool. you have an answer for everything. i cum, hard. my pants are stained. the woman asks for some kind of photo id, again. you tell her to look at your face. "do you recognize me?" she shakes her head, no. you roll your eyes, then cover your mouth with your hand and say, conspiratorially, "i guess she doesn't listen to drum n bass". the woman just stares. i run my fingers through your long, blonde hair. you pull out a pocket watch. "i want you to focus on the ticking. now, take your finger and focus on the ticking, but also create a memory movie of a time you accepted someone. feel your finger. i want you to associate your finger with the memory movie. ok. now, let go of your finger. the memory movie is gone. but grab your finger again. start the memory movie. rewind the memory movie and pull your finger, then press play on the memory vcr. ok? got it?" the woman is staring at you. i get a second wind and my hard on gets so big this time i'm sure i'll burst. i start to pull down your pants. "ok, so, memory movie. focus on it. focus...ok. accept me." the woman stares at you. "accept me." she asks us to leave. you say it's been fun but i can't come over to your house because you're having a tea room and capoeira sparring dojo added and the whole place is a mess. i hail a cab and you ask if i can drop you off at a friend's place on the way. you're out of cash so i foot the bill. we undress each other in the back of the cab and i fondle your two inch penis but can't figure out what to do with it, it's so small. you tell me it's not small, i just perceive it that way because my mind is not fully open to the potential of your cock. my mind is blown. before i know what's happening you're getting out of the cab and i'm wondering when i'll see you again. before you disappear down an alley, i see you buy some kind of crystal, probably for psychic mining, from a homeless black man. you're beautiful in the afternoon light.

 

This one was my favourite.

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first thing you need to do is sis file out all of your thermo regs so that you mitigate any chance of stereo burn on the hard drives, once that is implemented you can overcycle your USB to 8.0 and cut-lock any rogue nest threats that might still be lingering in the legacy bin. the legacy bin can be a bitch unfortunately-- best to swab it completely with a schottkey boot nugget, render out any trojan portal slugs, and then jump it off with a .pop launch. check out ww.hts:\parsec-nano.internet\geocites.com.pdf for a good walk through or email me at microsoft.doc for a quick FAQ check

 

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