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WATMM funny quotes thread

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lol

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hooooly shit

 

 

 

Trying to make music with one synth that did everything would be like trying to perform surgery with a top of the range swiss army knife.

You mean, "fucking badass"? Imagine you're in a restaurant where someone collapses. The dude's girlfriend starts to scream and is like, "OMG my boyfriend just collapsed!" Then out from some random booth, a doctor steps in all assertive and pushing people out of the way. He's all, "Stand back! ...Stand back!!! ...I'm..... I'm a doctor." Then after touching the collapsed and turning purple- bleeding from the ears and eyes- dude's body, the doctor is like, "This man has acute brocco-loco choco... He needs surgery immediately!" Then the collapsed dude's girl is like, "OMG, I'll call 911-" Then you enter the scene by doing a double-backflip over the crowd and land next to the panicking girlfriend, and you're all, "NOT SO FAST! This man needs surgery, not a telephone call." Then you just push people out of the way who aren't even in the way and grab your top of the range Swiss Army knife from your chest holster of random shit. The doctor mumbles some shit about how the man needs medical attention immediately, and you mumble quietly whilst calculating the situation in its entirety, "Medical attention? Unlike you... that's exactly what I'm giving this man."- you then yell demands at the crowd, "You! Fatass- gimme your beer. Waitress! Yeah, you, big tits-- gimme 27 pitchers of ice... ...NOOOW!!! You! Kid- gimme your shoes and your drink." And then with a bottle, straw, shoelaces, and a ziplock bag you had in your pocket from an O of purple haze, you make a contraption to facilitate the man's breathing with your foot, while the ice is used to slow his heartbeat to near stopping. Then using your Swiss Army knife, you slice open the dude's body, complete some complicated procedure with the assistance of a chicken wishbone, and sew him back up-- all with your 5kg, has-every-feature Swiss Army knife. "He's gonna be fine, miss.", you say to the amazed and thankful girlfriend. Right before walking away, you tell the doctor, "Doctor... Clean this man up, unless you wanna waste more of our time. -Everybody, everybody... Please, stop with the taking pictures. Saving lives and knowing what I'm doing is part of my life. And as much as I'd like to do an interview for you- every single local news channel-- right now, I have to go home and make music with one synth... that does everything. Ciao." *drives away in Lamborghini Countach that has glowing lines like Tron*

 

 

fucking epic

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It's all about this line tho

I have to go home and make music with one synth... that does everything. Ciao.

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I'll never be funny enough to be quoted in the "WATMM Funny Quotes Thread".

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I'll never be funny enough to be quoted in the "WATMM Funny Quotes Thread".

 

omglol!

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QUOTE (dr lopez @ Jan 28 2009, 04:23 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
wake up and smell the electronic music, African American.

 

lol i peaked too early :cry:

Edited by dr lopez

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describe the machine that is autechre in a haiku

an easy one, then

i guess i should have a go

 

actually, fuck it

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zole I missed that one!

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from chatmm:

 

patternoverlap

I took my wife and one of her friends out to dinner and drinking. we were in a bar and there was this tall skinny dumb looking girl wearing a Wu Tang shirt that was cut into a halter top. My wife flags her down and offers her a dollar if she can name 4 of the members of the Wu Tang clan

 

patternoverlap

the girl says "no, I don't know who they are" and then my wife says "then why the fuck are you wearing their shirt" to which the girl started hurling abuses at her

 

patternoverlap

so I stand up and tell the girl to fuck off and things quiet down and then on our way out of the bar, my wife puts up the Wu symbol with her hands and does the little Wu hoot at her, to which she launches into more foul language

 

patternoverlap

I laughed all the way to the car. +100 gangsta points for her

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pattern's wife is a bad bitch, much respect

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lol

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from the tycho release thread

 

I love design and adobe creative cloud. I like to blend different photos I've taken with my 5D Mark III. My 50mm lens is great for portraits, but I use my 19mm for landscapes. I also am a big fan of 60s-70s-era Braun. I'm a contributor to iso50. I wear real denim, am restoring a 1981 Bianchi, and prefer my latte with a rosetta on top. I prefer whole milk, grassfed, because it makes for some fine microfoam. When I'm rock climbing in Big Sur, I enjoy listening to Tycho's music, or anything on Ghostly, on a good set of cans. I bought an expensive set of cans recently, and they're definitely worth it, especially when listening to some quality music. I like to take women home and play them Bon Iver's older material. I also play guitar. I recently upgraded to a mahogany Martin. Again, it was expensive, but worth it. I like the warm tones encouraged by the mahogany back and sides, and the matte cedar top is ergonomic. I like building furniture from reclaimed pallet wood. I work in a furniture pop up shop.

 

 

"cans" omg lol

 

that sort of forced slang is so hideous

Edited by Hoodie

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what about lesbians with a strap on?

no penis==no rape

 

bob-marley.jpg

 

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noooo penis, no rape

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that wu tang story was epic

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  • totemcrackerjack
    Here's a Q: Where can I find cheap protein to buy? Meat is expensive :

    And don't say semen

  • Phoenix
    nuts
Edited by Phoenix

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messiaen, on 06 Jun 2014 - 5:34 PM, said:snapback.png

alcofrimbobulous: I follow you around on my bike for literally years, shrieking about how amazing your bum is through a loudspeaker. then i kill myself.

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triachus

i think BOC spends most of their time reading twoism obsessively and thinking "whatdoes it all mean?!" trying to decode hidden messages in the posts and looking at patterns in the raw forum data

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But it's an IDM forum.

 

IDM guuyth!

 

I MUST be open minded.

 

:derp::derp:

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don't be a cockroach prolapsing nun stephG

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