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dj tim osman: i can't mix but my music can beat up your music


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click on the text to download the mix... appx 80something MB, ~50min.


so like last night i ended up at a suburban bar to meet up this girl i hadn't seen in 12 years (viva la facebook, eh?) and like, oh man, this place was some sort of "hip club" where some schmuck played tonnes and tonnes of techhouse crap off of a laptop with, presumably, traktor or some sort of software mixer (they had a bouncer-type standing there like seriously who the fuck is going to rush this guy?!@ the only good thing he played was some tech-house remix of east flatbush project's "tried by 12" which i went up and gave him props for, with the bouncer taking a step or two at me like you know, the guy with the monitor headphones on merely for the aesthetic and who had been burnin people he met fresh CDs of his rapping prowess (i was there for ~3 hours waiting for ol girl to show up, and like, i had ~8 free drinks by my count cuz like, quoteth that outkast song "last call" off'a speakerboxxxx "i'm the coolest nigga in the club i don't even have to spend a dub"


but yeah. so like, when i heard that LMFAO shit i'm in miami trick i'm like oh i know what im doing tomorrow, it's my foot in your ass TRICK cuz seriously that fucking pudgy gimmick ass no skill media darling cuz he's some sort of predatory nymphomaniac who, example, shows up on an episode of the real world to cross promote himself and show the world LMFAO IS FUCKING CRAZY. no you're not, you're schmucks with no skills who rap on top of electro, following a script handed to you by your record label. yeah, trick, i'm the real deal. you're a millionaire i bet and i'm nobody, but in a purely lyrical contest judged by high-IQ people you have no chance. go fall back on your legions of fans, you're going to need them cuz whenever you look my way it's like vacationing in baghdad: so not a good idea.


anyways let's see if the wifi/httproxy gods will let me up ~70mb here cuz like, it's ~49 minutes of excellence. now like i doint have a mixer and i couldnt be arsed to install traktor. this isn't me stepping up in a world where andy c exists and being like HEY I'M A REAL DJ. no, i mean, if you go to a concert/venue specifically to see a DJ i mean even seeing a laptop is enh unless it's aphex twin. well i'm so down i'm going for that "unless it's aphex twin" credit on my shit before i'm even aphex twin in the first place cuz i know i'm going to be on the level of aphex twin exceedingly soon. like 1-2 years, altho he'll be better at electronic music, i'll be "quite good" and be able to rap.


THAT SAID, lookeeee here idm nerds if you want to tell me "hey that 3 second transition between songs was wack" then you're a miserable cunt who is looking to find fault with this as opposed to enjoying my indelibly brilliant tastes in music.... seriously, imagine you're at some decent bar and all the middle class white girls are putting it out there like SURPRISE they havent met a "good" man read: a rich man who doesnt cheat on them like super fuckyou excessively... and you know these bland faceless pointless tasteless sets where, example, you have to hear some flo rida and britney spears and shit?!@


well this is what i'd do if i was running the tables. and keep in mind, as my skills increase exponentially every day i'm only going to get better and better... i was so fucking sickened by what i experienced at this place i came home and sat up for ~2.5 hours setting this up and chunking around vinyldumps/mp3s and even figuring out how to use soundforge as a ghetto software compressor to make surfe the volume difference between cuts is minimal... and later today i'm going to remix whoomp there it is and kill LMFAO. that's my wednesday, people, how is yours?!@


fuck it. i have to attach this after the library opens up at 9. but trust me, it's well worth it. I WILL RETURN, TRUE BELIEVERS.

Edited by sinicalypse
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bumpus maximus. sorry to be extra extra annoying guys, but i gotta mastermind ways to make like 10 grand in a few months so i'm going balls out alls i can do on every facet of the music i know love and propagate.


quoteth aceyalone: "i love it learn it live it then give you my exhibit"


welcome to the exhibition phase guys... *opens trenchcoat*

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