Joyrex Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 I walked into the restroom at work to find two of the three stalls were full (oddly, both were side-by-side, which we all know is a public restroom faux-pas), and the third unoccupied. Needing to shit, I decided to go ahead and take the empty stall, and what transpired makes me regret my prior habit of leaving and coming back when there were either only one or no stalls occupied: As I sat down, stall #1 released a cacophony of sputtering farts and plops, followed by a wheezing release of gas, probably held in check by the just-released feces. Now, here's where it gets interesting: Immediately after that, stall #2 lets loose, with the wet sound of a turd stretching a sphincter to it's limits as it slides out, then the sudden plop as the end is detached and smacks the water. A few (frankly pathetic) farts follow, along with a dribble of piss. At this point, I'm eagerly holding back during #2's (ha) turn, and the excitement and pressure has built up so much, that as soon as the last few drops of #2's piss fall, I open the floodgates and begin with a low, almost bass-like fart that uses the bowl as an amplifier, suddenly cut short by a turd rocketing out of my ass, hitting the water with such force a splash of water rebounds back onto me, the shock of the cold water causing more turds to fire out in rapid succession, until finally ending with a whispery, almost breathy fart, most likely due to my sphincter still contracting back to it's closed state after the freight train of feces that just passed through. Right after my outburst, #1 again lets loose with a few weighty plops, and then a flush. #2 proceeds him, with a few more piss dribbles, a few plops, and a flush. Dutifully, I follow up with a few drips, then a flush. I decided to wait and let my co-coshitutators exit their stalls, and wash up before I make my exit. The smell in the room was truly astonishing, a mixture of rotting vegetation, sweet oxide-like smells, and the dank stench of gas beginning to dissipate. After what seemed like an eternity, I rise, leave my stall, and wash up, eager to share this experience with the rest of you.
Guest Benedict Cumberbatch Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 richard d james must be so proud to have inspired this website
Guest placidburp Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 why did I read it all?! why did I even open this thread?! * fart*
Guest assegai Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 (edited) richard d james must be so proud to have inspired this website lol Edited September 23, 2009 by assegai
Guest mrcopyandpaste Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 that was like reading erotic fiction
Guest dese manz hatin Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 fucking lol that has seriously brightened up my day
Guest 277: 930-933 Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 (edited) Oh my lol. I remember when I gave up all embarassment about public restroom defecation, it was glorious. There's a great sense of satisfaction in knowing that your more epic farts are appreciated by others. One time I actually got feedback by someone in a few stalls over, someone shouted 'Aaalright!', I started laughing uncontrollably. Edited September 23, 2009 by 277: 930-933
Guest Yegg Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 I bet the first person chose to use the middle stall giving the second person, like you, no choice but to use an adjoining stall.
kaen Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 safe m8 safe nice one why have i turned into danny dyer geeeza fuck.
Joyrex Posted September 23, 2009 Author Posted September 23, 2009 Oh my lol. I remember when I gave up all embarassment about public restroom defecation, it was glorious. There's a great sense of satisfaction in knowing that your more epic farts are appreciated by others. One time I actually got feedback by someone in a few stalls over, someone shouted 'Aaalright!', I started laughing uncontrollably. Yeah... I've got another amusing anecdote for another thread along those lines... I bet the first person chose to use the middle stall giving the second person, like you, no choice but to use an adjoining stall. YES - I hate when people do stuff like this (plus, the horrible design of my place of work's bathrooms - three stalls, three urinals. WTF? Five would have been a more suitable choice as it allows up to three people to sit with nobody beside them, thus feeling uncomfortable). Or worse, when someone comes in and chooses the stall right next to you when there is an open one - I make sure to make the most rude noises I can when that happens, and hope they don't recognize my shoes.
SCONES TO DIE FOR Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 I bet the first person chose to use the middle stall giving the second person, like you, no choice but to use an adjoining stall. Checkmate!
Joyrex Posted September 23, 2009 Author Posted September 23, 2009 Made me think of a shit symphony of sorts with JR coming in as a bassoon. It has a filthy beauty to it. fixt
Guest assegai Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 ...and hope they don't recognize my shoes.
Guest Calx Sherbet Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 i've always wanted to hear a truly nightmarish piss story, maybe someday
YEK Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 i'm one of the group that i try not to let one rip when others are in the bathroom. sometimes you just have to though.
Guest AOOproductions Posted September 23, 2009 Posted September 23, 2009 Did all of you have a horrible case of dysentery?!!! Cause when shitting goes right... though smelly... should not sound like 54 cymru beats.
EdamAnchorman Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 i went to my usual stall this afternoon and after a few minutes, two maintenance guys barge in and go to work on the toilet next to me. they're grunting trying to get pipes apart, banging on the pipes something awful as i envision a flooded bathroom and me with my pants down. too bad i didn't have any ammo left to make things interesting...
Guest iamabe Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 first post made me suffocate i was laughing so hard. [youtubehd]J-YVt4gfquA[/youtubehd]
modey Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 Oh my lol. I remember when I gave up all embarassment about public restroom defecation, it was glorious. There's a great sense of satisfaction in knowing that your more epic farts are appreciated by others. One time I actually got feedback by someone in a few stalls over, someone shouted 'Aaalright!', I started laughing uncontrollably. Yeah... I've got another amusing anecdote for another thread along those lines... I bet the first person chose to use the middle stall giving the second person, like you, no choice but to use an adjoining stall. YES - I hate when people do stuff like this (plus, the horrible design of my place of work's bathrooms - three stalls, three urinals. WTF? Five would have been a more suitable choice as it allows up to three people to sit with nobody beside them, thus feeling uncomfortable). Or worse, when someone comes in and chooses the stall right next to you when there is an open one - I make sure to make the most rude noises I can when that happens, and hope they don't recognize my shoes. hey - at least you have three, the toilets at my workplace have two cubicles, and no urinals.. not that i use urinals anyway..
Guest blicero Posted September 24, 2009 Posted September 24, 2009 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xsIASofR5-E
Joyrex Posted September 24, 2009 Author Posted September 24, 2009 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xsIASofR5-E YESSSSSS... it was just like that. Except without hot chicks. Damn, that was hot.
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