Spam

[chassis]

Hah, got my favourite junk email today.

 

Sexy and supportive bras‏

17/12/2010

Reply ▼

Bras Add to contacts

 

From: Bras (rafer@imagecreationserve.com)

Sent: 17 December 2010 15:17:18

 

Bra

 

Find the perfect fitting bra that's stylish and beautiful. Shop Now.

[Guest Rambo]

Had a bit of a tl;dr response from Mrs Margaret Sawers today so i'll just post the crucial part.

 

Dear Jermaine T Girling,

 

I am sorry for replying late, I was due to my health condition. I got your photos.

 

Thank you for letting me know about your plans towards accomplishing my Last Wish and I assure you that everything will go as successful as planned.

 

I contacted my financial Consultant in the Security Company there in Malaysia where the money is presently deposited in order to inform him about my desire to donate the money to you for Humanitarian Project, he said that you will need to visit his office in Malaysia in order to sign the necessary fund release order documents on my behalf as my sole trustee. This is very important.

 

So i will have to visit someone in Malaysia. I dont whether this is some sort of incredible double bluff that they themselves dont even understand or what. I'll be responding to them shortly.

[Guest Rambo]

i like this guys style. No fluff, just straight to the heart of the matter.

 

Hello friend,

 

I have a business proposal worth £8,950,000.00GBP. Would you by any chance be interested? If yes, send me an email immediately so that i can fill you in with details.

 

Thanks,

Klaus Meyer

 

Klaus strikes me as the no nonsense type so i've responded in kind.

 

Hi Klaus, of course i would. Hit me with the details so i can chew them over.

 

Regards

[Guest Rambo]

Had a lightening fast response from Klaus. He is obviously very keen which is always good.

 

It might be tl;dr

 

Hello,

 

I have picked-up courage and trust to forward this letter with divine confidence that you are a reliable and honest person capable of handling this important business proposal believing also that you will never let me down either now or in the future.I am Mr Klaus Meyer,a German and a private audit consultant with the Barclays Bank here in the UK. My client, a british employee of an oil servicing company was 42yrs until his death in 2005 after he suffered cancer, had an account with this bank monitored by me his account officer. From my findings during auditing at the end of last fiscal year, the deceased did not leave a will and no indication of a next of kin and as such has no beneficiary and my investigation proved to me that my employers do not have knowledge of this account which has a total sum of eight million, nine hundred and fifty thousand British Pounds.[£8,950,000.00GBP]

 

Also my investigation over the years showed that my late client had no relative and i wish to transfer these funds by means of my professional ideas out of England. I know that this proposal will come to you as a surprise as we don't have fore knowledge of each other. I therefore implore that you treat this as important as can be to enable us achieve the claim of the funds.It is a deal I will like to run with someone as trustworthy as you,thus prompting me to search and retrieve your contact email from a trade consultant here in England because you bear the same surname identity with the deseased and therefore can present you as the beneficiary to the inheritance since there is no written will., though I did not disclose the purpose of my seeking for a foreign business partner to the consultant.

 

I have involved a very senior official in the remittance department of my establishment, and we have agreed that after the transfer of the fund into your designated bank account, you shall be entitled to 30% of the total sum, my colleagues and I will have 60% while 10% will be used to reimburse all expenses incurred by all parties during the transaction.All necessary precautions have been taken to ensure a risk free situation on the side of both parties.Please note that this deal can only take place on the following conditions:

 

1. You will provide the bank account and other relevant particulars information for easy and onward Remittance of the funds.

2. Absolute confidentiality and sincerity will be required and guaranteed, considering our positions in the bank.

3. Assurance that our share of 60% will be released to us in good faith when this funds finally gets into your nominated bank account.From my estimates, this transaction will be within 14 working days as soon as we hear from you. Please treat with utmost confidentiality.

 

Expecting your immediate response.

 

Regards,

Klaus Meyer

 

 

In summary, guy pretending(?)to be German working with Barclays bank in the UK. Some guy is dead and as a result i am going to get lots of money.

 

I have given him a sincere response here. Lets not waste any time.

 

Okay Klaus, i am going to come clean here. I believe you have the opportunity to scratch the back of a person who is more than willing to scratch yours. There is no way to ease you in gently here but i am directly responsible for the deaths of up to 40 women and i am going to need some assistance in disposing at least 12 of the bodies. Without going into too much detail (i believe we should get to know each other first) i have an extremely voracious sexual appetite. Ever since my early teens i would wine and dine semi attractive women in the Greater Manchester area and if they refused my advances, i would take them shopping and if that wasn't enough, i'd take them out the game (of life, lol). Many have been stored at a location that is, at best, a temporary holding area for a smelly female corpse. I am certain that they will be discovered before too long. Here is where you come in: i need to know that you have the kind of resources i need to dispose of thse unwilling females (well maybe they are more willing now if you know what i mean, roflmao. Just a joke.). I really trust your Germanic organisational skills and i know that many in finance like yourself are meticulous when it comes to the disposal of excess humans. Once we dispose of the dead female women, we can talk cash.

 

Actually, even if you wont help me with the women, i would still like all the money. Hope to hear from you soon. Also, what kind of music/TV do you like? Thanks

Edited January 30, 2011 by Rambo

[Guest ruiagnelo]

Rambo please keep us up to date on that subject. it is brilliant so far

[Guest placidburp]

Hello! My name is Elena. I'm not looking for prince on a white horse, I need a man who has not forgotten what is love, honesty and kindness.

I think it is you. Am I right?

 

[essines]

Also, what kind of music/TV do you like? Thanks

rofl

[Guest Rambo]

Klaus never did get back to me. Maybe i was being over friendly when i asked about his fave music + TV. Should have kept it strictly about the corpses.

 

Hello! My name is Elena. I'm not looking for prince on a white horse, I need a man who has not forgotten what is love, honesty and kindness.

I think it is you. Am I right?

 

 

lol!

 

Is that all real including the pic?

[BobDobalina]

Ceriously Rambo if you'd could do a whole book of these I would bankroll publishing and distribution.

 

 

I'd just need you to put up 15 percent of the upfront costs and I'll take care of the rest. Godbless and may Jesus' light shine kindly on thee.

[Zephyr_Nova]

I am Dr. Donald Ibori, presently in Benin Republic, West Africa. I am the younger brother to Chief

James Ibori who was the former Nigeria Delta State Governor. My brother, who has recently been

facing allegations of corruption and money laundary charges confided strongly in me and have

giving me the sole authority of overseeing most of his foreign businesses and investments.

He has kept in my name many foreign accounts worth in total over USD$100 Million and other money deposited which i and my brother James are only aware of.

I need your assistance in getting USD$10M of this money which was kept securely, transfered to you as we need trusted foreign partners to move and invest these money in their names so that they can be properly secured while we clear the allegation charges still pending.

If you are interested to assist me with this, urgently reply to this email so i can give you

further instructions on how to get this achieved as soon as possible.

 

You've come to the right person, Dr. Donald Ibori.

[Soloman Tump]

From: Basil Lusk

 

Lowest prices for replica Breitling watches, get one for $259.. You will look better with these branded original cufflinks.

 

Sincerely,

 

Basil

 

 

 

and....

 

 

 

Let private part torn girls apart!

 

Give her sweet spasms of love

 

Your willie will stay rock-like

Edited April 26, 2011 by feltcher

[encey]

I posted some spam this morning.

[halisray]

At Winner Palace high quality online gaming meets industry leading customer service. Choose “Instant Play” and you can be on your way to some of the best winnings of your life! Avail cool bonuses; in fact get $1000 as Welcome Bonus the moment you join. Play for entertainment or to win, you’re guaranteed a great time here!

 

www.multigamezvegas.ru

 

?MIME-Version: 1.0

Content-Type: text/plain; charsetiso-8859-1

Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable

 

At Winner Palace high quality online gaming meets industry leading customer service. Choose “Instant Play” and you can be on your way to some of the best winnings of your life! Avail cool bonuses; in fact get $1000 as Welcome Bonus the moment you join. Play for entertainment or to win, you’re guaranteed a great time here!

 

www.multigamezvegas.ru

[Braintree]

Saw this in my spam folder today:

 

Brenda Marisa to me

 

Hello whats sup,

 

I enjoy sexual intercourse babe. I have sexual intercourse for money. And if this fascinates you , simply GO HERE. I'm called darkfantasies23 on that website. No costs to you or credit card needed in order to enter. I stopped selling on craigslist only because its not authorized and also there is normally just too many spammy posts.

 

SEXUAL INTERCOURSE.

[Guest futuregirlfriend]

harold to owaiskazi, owaisnasir, owaissabir, me

show details 02/01/2000

yeah finally :)

 

thanks a lot mate! I`m starting today, you have no idea how much you helped me bro!!!

I have a serious debts and need to quickly make some cash :)

 

cheers..

 

 

----- Original Message -----

From: "lpfan4yrs" <owaiskazi@gmail.com>, <owaisnasir@gmail.com>, <owaissabir@gmail.com>, <xxxxx@gmail.com>

To: "harold"

Sent: Friday, May 20, 2011 2:05 PM

Subject: sending you my trick

 

 

> hi mate..

>

> ok I`ll give you my trick but if you give it someone else I`ll fuckin kill you :)

>

> you know in roulette you can bet on blacks or reds. If you bet $1 on black

> and it goes black you win $1 but if it goes red you loose your $1.

> but I found a way you can win everytime:

>

> bet $1 on black if it goes black you win $1

>

> now again bet $1 on black, if this time it goes red bet $3 on black,

> if it goes red again bet $8 on black, if red again bet

> $20 on black, red again bet $52 on black (always multiple your

> previous lost bet around 2.5x)

> if now is black you win $52 so you have $104 and you bet:

>

> $1 + $3 + $8 + $20 + $52 = $84 So you just won $20 :)

>

> now when you won you start with $1 on blacks again etc etc.

> its always bound to go black eventually (it`s 50/50)

> so that way you eventually always win. But there`s a catch.

> If you start winning too much (like $1000 a day)

> casino will finally notice something and can ban

> you. I was banned once on royal casino. So don`t be too greedy

> and don`t win more then $300 a day and you can do

> it for years. I think bigger casinos know that trick

> so I play for real money on smaller ones, right now I play on

> vip casino www.casinovss.com for more

> then 6 months, I win $200-$300 a day and my account still works.

> You`ll find roulette there when you download casino soft and register go to

> "specialty" section and choose european roulette.

> And don`t you dare talling about it anyone else,

> if too many people knows about it casinos will finally found a way

> to block that trick. If you have any questions just drop me a line here or on skype.

>

> c ya

>

>

>

>

[Guest placidburp]

Subject: I will give you love and obedience

 

Master,

 

If you decide to visit the charming city of Dubai,

please don’t forget to look after a lovely and humble escort

that can turn your life into a marvellous Arabian tale…

Our sparkish women are obedient angels that can make any of your erotic dreams come true.

 

I feel like I’ve interested you…

 

Take advantage of our escort services.

If you wish to become a client of ours, send us an e-mail at meleyla8@gmail.com

 

We’re waiting for you!

[Guest futuregirlfriend]

Not so much spam, 'cause I signed up to receive freecycle email n'all but...

 

OFFER: Reiki Healing

 

ilovewolves to me

 

I am a Reiki Sensie [Master teacher] and send Distance Reiki on a

Sunday and Wednesday. Have you some-one who you would like added to my

list? Please send their names age and rough area where they live. It

can be anywhere in the world, Reiki will flow to them. Namaste, Love

and blessings

 

Anyone interested?

 

They also offered various cacti in a Mexican bowl.

[david]

Jayne Terry to me

 

show details 3:02 PM (16 hours ago)

 

I wanted to e mail you once again in regards to meeting up for a commitment free encounter, sometime back you e mailed my cl listing, I replied to you but never did hear back. I was looking through my email account I came across the email you sent, figured I'd give you one more shot. At http://www.j.mp/l1k5Ev I have more about myself along with my pics. Talk to ya soon I am hoping.

 

---

 

Heeeeeey

 

This is Linda

I was checking social sites a nice guy, yet I get bad luck. I am by myself these days and I'm looking to talk to nice men.

Are you available :))) ? ?

 

http://ity.im/0dK4S

Find me at

 

---

 

I am someone's perfect girl.

I hoard books.

I read news all the time.

I subscribe to several magazines and newspapers, not because I have time to

read all of them, but because I like to think I do.

I'm a self-described coffee and cupcake addict.

I'm not an alcoholic, but I do love good beer, good wine and a good time.

I go to plays and musicals because I love them.

I dance because it's fun.

I sing because that's just what I do.

I kind of hate modern art (something my friends like to poke at when they

bring me to various museums).

I overanalyze Lost. I sing along to Glee. I wish I worked at the Buy More.

I'm a nerd, in the "Star Wars is awesome, Star Trek is too, and I think I'd

like Battlestar Galactica if I ever got around to watching it" way.

I Love Harry Potter. No, seriously. Love. Capital "L."

I'm probably the biggest sap you'll ever meet.

I find kids and babies adorable. I don't want my own any time soon, but I

do want them.

I like pretty things. Shoes. Photographs. Pieces of furniture.

I don't like cats because I'm allergic, but I can't wait for the day that I

can get a puppy.

I'm living the dream when it comes to my career, but even I know that

there's something more I need to strive for. I just have to figure out what

that is.

I love baseball and college football, but fair warning, I'm didn't grow up

on the East Coast, so I probably don't like your team(s).

I'm not hot. Pretty, sure. Cute, yes. Hot, not so much. And I'm OK with

that.

My profile is here:

http://SAMELLA.edatingiseasy.ru

 

---

 

 

I am Ma Ching Hang Patrick, the General Manager of Tai Sang Bank Ltd (Hong

Kong) Sorry to bother you, I know we haven't meant or spoken before, but I'm

currently looking for someone trustworthy to work with me on a profitable

deal worth ($29.6M) please reply for complete details.

Regards,

Ma Ching Hang Patrick.

 

---

 

 

Heey

 

Well, I am Candice

I've been reading dating sites searching, but I have absolutely no success. I am lonely right now and I'm looking to talk to people.

Anyone around hehehee! ? ?

 

http://clck.ru/EMIm

This is where I chat

 

---

 

Warning: This message may not be from whom it claims to be. Beware of following any links in it or of providing the sender with any personal information. Learn more

Girls dig really long ones, yours will be LONGER after you take our organic pills

 

http://trainpulls.com/

 

---

 

Warning: This message may not be from whom it claims to be. Beware of following any links in it or of providing the sender with any personal information. Learn more

Hear ladies scream in bed

 

http://greatenlarge.com/

[Guest Rambo]

 

that can turn your life into a marvellous Arabian tale…

 

 

what if your life already is a marvellous Arabian tale?

[Npoess]

I just got this really weird mail form someone. he contacted me about a pair of shoes i'm selling on the internet. Can't tell if it's serious, or if it's someone who is trying to fool me... I don't get a lot of spam on gmail. And the message was through a legitimate danish online auction website.

 

Hello,

Thanks for the response, I actually intended coming down to your

place to pickup this item, but i have just traveled to Uk for an

urgent visit. i intend purchasing this item for my pastor's child who

has just been transferred to west Africa Nigeria.

as a gift for a good friend of mine in West Africa Nigeria.

 

What is the present condition of the item? i will pay..400DKK extra

for shipment. I want the item posted to him via post , Payment will be

made via Bank Deposit or PayPal so kindly get back to me with your

payment details.

 

Please tell other interested buy that the item is sold

Here is the shipment address

 

J. Sabastine

1 Air ways link,

IJesha, Surulere,

Lagos,23401,

Nigeria,

 

Sent from my iPhone

Edited July 3, 2011 by Dropp

[Guest A/D]

favorite spam today! Joe Biden wrote to tell me that the White House owes me ten million dollars. He also said that Robert Mueller III will be handling the payment (for security reasons).

 

 

 

OFFICE OF PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA

The White House

1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW

Washington, DC 20500

Comments: 202-456-11111

Switchboard: 202-456-1414

FAX: 202-456-24610

TTY/TDD

Visitors Office:202-456-2121

 

ATTN:SIR/MAR,

RE: IMMEDIATE COMPENSATION PAYMENT FUND #: AV/IMF/WORLD BANK /MIN/011

On behalf of the entire Staff of the United State Of America and the Senate office in collaboration with IMF and World Bank. We apologies for the delay of your Compensation Payment and all the Inconveniences you encountered while pursuing this payment. However, from the Records of outstanding compensate due for payment with the Government of America, your Name/ e-mail and Company was discovered as next on the list of the outstanding Compensation unpaid beneficiary who have not yet received your payments. I wish to inform you now that the square peg is now in square hole and your payment is being processed and will be released to you as soon as you respond to this letter. Also note that from the record in my office file, your outstanding fund Payment is US$10,500,000.00 (Ten Million Five Hundred Thousand United State Dollars).

Kindly re-confirm to me the followings:

 

Your Full Name:

Your Complete Address (Physical Address with Zip Code not P.O. BOX :

Name of City of Residence:

Country:

Direct Telephone Number:

Mobile Number:/Fax No:

Working Identity Card/Int'l Passport:

Occupation: Position:

Age/Sex:

 

In this regards I have assigned Mr. Robert S. Mueller, III FBI Director to handle the payment procedure for security purpose, all Beneficiaries are advised to communicate with him directly on E-mail: fbi-ca-usa@w.cn to enable me achieve my promise of paying all Beneficiaries before end of this second Quarter of the year 2011, and all Beneficiaries are advised to adhere to her instruction, from FBI office and keep all information regarding this compensation confidential

YOURS SINCERELY,

Vice President Joe Biden

United State of America

 

also: "United State of America" fucking lol.

[Guest futuregirlfriend]

omar Your Circular is Available

 

 

omar Did you Grab your local Coupons yet?

 

 

http://[the-spam-site].com/1833209b96h2706390

 

Take as many as you want :)

 

A lot of the spam I get is addressed to Omar. My name isn't Omar.

 

 

most of?

[BCM]

From: BlackSinglesDating <zosia@fixyourwebsitesolutions.com>

Subject: Date

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Black

 

Singles

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Near

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You

[YEK]

*watches back*

[oyster]

My friend's mom always used to make fried spam for breakfast when I would sleep over at their house, it actually tasted pretty good (as I remember it, anyway)