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I NEED YER RECIPES!


yekker
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- 1 toaster

- 2 slices of bread (seeded hearth loaf is good, but olive bread also works)

- 1 tbsp butter

Put bread in toaster.  Depress toast making lever (lol not with your sad emo music, with your index finger, silly! :).  Wait for bread to ascend to grabbing level.  Obtain toast with fingers - careful it's hot!!  What are you doing???  Jesus, give it a moment.  You know what - never mind.  Stick to cereal.  Fucking amateurs.

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Detox juices: 

Early day/morning: 1 apple, 1 lemon, 2 cucumbers, 1 green bell pepper, 3 carrots- put in juicer.

After meals- 2 lemons, pinch of ginger, teaspoon of turmeric, cup of water.


Salad: 

Dino kale, spinach, radishes, carrots, ginger, olive oil, apple cider vinegar, turmeric, Dijon mustard, salt + pepper. (Use however much u like of each, but equal parts oil and vinegar, and less mustard)

 

Guac:

3 avocados, 1-2 raw jalapeños, one lime, cilantro (you decide how much), 1/2 tsp garlic, salt + pepper to taste. Smash up avocados, chop up everything else, squeeze lime in. Guacamole. I fucking hate onions, but if you like to smell like hot fairground trash armpits then you can add those too.

 

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Depending on the number of people, allow one to two tender elephants to swell briefly with 3 liters of whole milk and 150 g of sugar, add 1 egg yolk while stirring constantly, pour into a rinsed pudding mold, after cooling down, tumble and serve with almonds. Instead of the elephants, chocolate, vanilla or raspberries can also be used.

 

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How about you put your money where your mouth is? I showed you one of mine (thought up by an American, btw - in all seriousness I think the food that's being thought up there these days is really quite interesting and tasty) now show me one of yours.

 

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6 hours ago, Himelstein said:

Detox juices: 

Early day/morning: 1 apple, 1 lemon, 2 cucumbers, 1 green bell pepper, 3 carrots- put in juicer.

After meals- 2 lemons, pinch of ginger, teaspoon of turmeric, cup of water.

the concept of detoxification is a scam: 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Detoxification_(alternative_medicine)#Unsound_scientific_basis

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/dec/05/detox-myth-health-diet-science-ignorance

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8 minutes ago, Thu Zaw said:

But fresh fruit and vegetables are good

yeah i was only criticizing the claim of "detox". can't go wrong with a homemade juice, they're absolutely delicious! just don't expect them to do the job that your liver/kidneys/etc. already do, is all.

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1 hour ago, brian trageskin said:

yeah i was only criticizing the claim of "detox". can't go wrong with a homemade juice, they're absolutely delicious! just don't expect them to do the job that your liver/kidneys/etc. already do, is all.

It’s just what they are called, honestly. I don’t claim they will do anything, but they do make you pee like crazy. Seriously tho, the guy that gave me the recipes had that written down “detox for belly fat”- who the fuck knows. They are good tho. Detox is such a weird concept because there’s so many things to consider- de calcification of the pineal gland, etc. - you can’t drink fluoride or brush your teeth. But yeah, just a name, I almost put “healthy juice” but it sounded dumb 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Совсем недавно я видел мертвую приручку. Она сидела на столбе, а я проходил мимо.

Недавно я смотрел инстаграм-каналы, и там было что-то, что "ведьмы" - это женщины, околдовывающие мужчин, и тогда я понял, что девушки-ведьмы - это настоящие красотки.

Андрей: "Ведьмы" - это женщины, околдовывающие мужчин, а "волк" - это слово, обозначающее мужчину, который околдовывает женщин.

 

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13 minutes ago, dingformung said:

Совсем недавно я видел мертвую приручку. Она сидела на столбе, а я проходил мимо.

Недавно я смотрел инстаграм-каналы, и там было что-то, что "ведьмы" - это женщины, околдовывающие мужчин, и тогда я понял, что девушки-ведьмы - это настоящие красотки.

Андрей: "Ведьмы" - это женщины, околдовывающие мужчин, а "волк" - это слово, обозначающее мужчину, который околдовывает женщин.

 

ЯЭPФЯГԐD

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