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suicide note


pattern recognition

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Babar I love you as much as a man can love an elephant

 

i dunno about the mental illness thing, I guess it depends how you define mental illness. For me that recursive thought, that being stuck in a trench, is a sign of mental illness. It's just not quite as dramatic as schizophrenia.

 

I had a brilliant friend in Univ who was also a philosophy major, and who also had a meltdown, went schizophrenic. However I think the root of it was he couldn't come to terms with his homosexuality. I think there's always a "root cause", whether we call it mental illness or not. This guy identifies the death of his father as the start of his nihilism, and I bet there's more there.

 

I don't believe suicide, however rationally-argued, is a valid choice for a healthy young person. It is mental illness imo.

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i believe he was depressed/had a mental issue... all of us can immediately see the flaws in his arguments/actions, but the guy who dedicated all his time and life to this idea, overlooked them despite his obvious intellect... seems like a clear case of depression to me... speaking as someone who suffers from it, I know that when you're in it, you cant see out of it. seems like this was his case. very sad.

 

i dont know... id rather explain my reasoning to him, than to others postmortem... but thats not an option, so I guess im done here...

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in thinking about this, babar was right, it's basically a fucked up piece of performance art. The guy should have taken it a step further and recorded his treatise as an audiobook connected to some sort of rube goldberg device, then set himself up in some public place. A crowd would gather, and then boom! the machine would off him as soon as the recording finished. He could also have some sort of box that would open automatically afterwards selling copies of his book, with the proceeds going to his favorite nihilist charity

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in thinking about this, babar was right, it's basically a fucked up piece of performance art. The guy should have taken it a step further and recorded his treatise as an audiobook connected to some sort of rube goldberg device, then set himself up in some public place. A crowd would gather, and then boom! the machine would off him as soon as the recording finished. He could also have some sort of box that would open automatically afterwards selling copies of his book, with the proceeds going to his favorite nihilist charity

 

congratulations, you're the second person in internet history to use the phrase "nihilist charity" in a sentence. i'm the third.

 

http://www.google.com/search?q=%22nihilist+charity%22

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Guest happycase
tumoral gunboat hackworks unbeknownst sploshed ableness nihilist charity phonographically- legislatrix superimposing? bewitching perplex mechanistic
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Guest happycase

Q: Is there no salvation for the world?

 

M: Which world do you want to save? The world of your own projection? Save it yourself. My

world? Show me my world and I shall deal with it. I am not aware of any world separate from

myself, which I am free to save or not to save. What business have you with saving the world, when

all the world needs is to be saved from you? Get out of the picture and see whether there is

anything left to save.

 

Q: You seem to stress the point that without you your world would not have existed and therefore

the only thing you can do for it is to wind up the show. This is not a way out. Even if the world were

of my own creation, this knowledge does not save it. It only explains it. The question remains: why

did I create such a wretched world and what can I do to change it? You seem to say: forget it all and

admire your own glory. Surely, you don't mean it. The description of a disease and its causes does

not cure it. What we need is the right medicine.

 

M: The description and causation are the remedy for a disease caused by obtuseness and

stupidity. Just like a deficiency disease is cured through the supply of the missing factor, so are the

diseases of living cured by a good dose of intelligent detachment. (viveka-vairagya).

 

Q: You cannot save the world by preaching counsels of perfection. People are as they are. Must

they suffer?

 

M: As long as they are as they are, there is no escape from suffering. Remove the sense of

separateness and there will be no conflict.

 

Q: A message in print may be paper and ink only. It is the text that matters. By analysing the world

into elements and qualities we miss the most important -- its meaning. Your reduction of everything

to dream disregards the difference between the dream of an insect and the dream of a poet. All is

dream, granted. But not all are equal.

 

M: The dreams are not equal, but the dreamer is one. I am the insect. I am the poet -- in dream.

But in reality I am neither. I am beyond all dreams. I am the light in which all dreams appear and

disappear. I am both inside and outside the dream. Just as a man having headache knows the ache

and also knows that he is not the ache, so do I know the dream, myself dreaming and myself not

dreaming -- all at the same time. I am what I am before, during and after the dream. But what I see

in dream, l am not.

 

Q: It is all a matter of imagination. One imagines that one is dreaming, another imagines one is not

dreaming. Are not both the same?

 

M: The same and not the same. Not dreaming, as an interval between two dreams, is of course, a

Part of dreaming. Not dreaming as a steady hold on, and timeless abidance in reality has nothing to

do with dreaming. In that sense I never dream, nor ever shall.

 

Q: If both dream and escape from dream are imaginings, what is the way out?

 

M: There is no need of a way out! Don't you see that a way out is also a part of the dream? All you

have to do is to see the dream as dream.

 

Q: If I start the practice of dismissing everything as a dream where will it lead me?

 

M: Wherever it leads you, it will be a dream. The very idea of going beyond the dream is illusory.

Why go anywhere? Just realise that you are dreaming a dream you call the world, and stop looking

for ways out. The dream is not your problem. Your problem is that you like one part of your dream

and not another. Love all, or none of it, and stop complaining. When you have seen the dream as a

dream, you have done all that needs be done.

 

Q: Is dreaming caused by thinking?

 

M: Everything is a play of ideas. In the state free from ideation (nirvikalpa samadhi) nothing is

perceived. The root idea is: 'I am'. It shatters the state of pure consciousness and is followed by the

innumerable sensations and perceptions, feeling and ideas which in their totality constitute God and

His world. The 'I am' remains as the witness, but it is by the will of God that everything happens.

 

Q: Why not by my will?

 

M: Again you have split yourself -- into God and witness. Both are one.

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Guest underscore

this dude sounds like he was almost as crazy as everyone who keeps refering to this as a note. pretty sure we can call this a suicide novel or something

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The writing is also repetitive and heavier on rhetorical questions than real arguments.

 

exactly, he sounds pretty obsessed. the opening pages are all about how 'no one will believe me' repeated over and over. aside from that, dude is/was obviously quite smart and makes some interesting observations in there, but damn, he didn't exactly present his rambling paper to be peer-reviewed, let alone edited, did he.

 

he clearly wasn't completely nihilistic, he cared enough about his family to convey his love to them.

 

probably severely depressed, socially maladaptive, repressed, and needing to get laid, a lot. and unable to deal with these issues, let alone communicate them. for him death wasn't nihilistic, it was a release from his emotional pain. hence, at least what was written in the article, fits in well with the typical warning signs of suicide.

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Guest Scrambled Ears

life is a cosmological accident, no one is at the wheel and there is no "soul" or "human" or "right and wrong"--just a massively complex set of behaviors shaped by reinforcement or punishment and strictly bound by situation only; nothing absolute or universal.

 

but brother: thou art that.

ya and so what if there's no super being at the helm other than you...where would you want it to go anyway? probably just towards the next aphex twin album

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Life is the most complex thing I could ever imagine to experience and I can see the validity of this thing. Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea to write the book, i'm not here to point out his hypocritical application of his nihilistic beliefs. would it be more "correct" nihilism to off himself in his bathroom and tell no one? He probably has a point, I'm just not sure who he's aiming all this at. telling things to the "world" is usually a flawed goal, the world is too chaotic to get the message.

 

Thinking he was mad at his dad dying or that he needed to get laid is a moot point, the world is a fucked up place. asking certain questions gets you answers you don't want to hear but can't get rid of once you've realized it.

 

He was distraught with himself and the charade of society, that alone is a good enough reason to kill yourself, not that you have to. There are plenty of good reasons to do all sorts of things but only the personal justifications and necessities will win in the end.

 

I think the problem with depressioned people digesting serious philsophical or nihilistic problems is the ability to disassociate with the mirage of validity in external actions, but an inability to do the same with your own feelings, especially troublesome ones.

 

Fuckit, let's go bowling.

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