People who never apologise

[kaen]

Recently ive become friends with someone and ive noticed a trend in their personality, they're NEVER wrong, NEVER apologise and even take something they did wrong and turn it back onto other people instead of just saying "hey i made a mistake, sorry". Im a pretty relaxed kind of guy and ill happily deal with and put up with whatever annoying trait people have because mostly it doesn't make much difference to me but those people with absolutely no comprehension of being responsible for their actions i just cannot stand or even begin to understand why they do what they do.

 

Anyone else know someone like this, id be interested to here stories on how they justify themselves. Some of the self delusional arguments ive had of late are just blowing my mind and i cant quite get my head around it. Why would someone go to such lengths to not be at fault, to even go on the offence and attack the non guilty party when all they had to do was say, im sorry.

 

discuss

[chassis]

I say sorry when I get in someones way in a corridor.

[Vergas buey]

is it a female? if so she'll have a hard enough time in life and count your blessings you yourself aren't a fucking twat as such.

[oscillik]

whether it's a female or not, i think a cunt punt is in order

[Guest Gary C]

Yeah, my dad does this. Not in an unruly way, but he'll never say 'sorry' or admit that he's made a mistake. Unfortunately he does more silly things as he gets older.

[dr lopez]

I've had a hard time with this in the past, but I feel I've really gotten to a point where I am ok with myself enough to apologize. Things like this usually stem out of self-confidence issues, but then again, it is really fucking annoying. and I think a kaen cunt punt is in order.

[delet...]

Recently ive become friends with someone and ive noticed a trend in their personality, they're NEVER wrong, NEVER apologise and even take something they did wrong and turn it back onto other people instead of just saying "hey i made a mistake, sorry". Im a pretty relaxed kind of guy and ill happily deal with and put up with whatever annoying trait people have because mostly it doesn't make much difference to me but those people with absolutely no comprehension of being responsible for their actions i just cannot stand or even begin to understand why they do what they do.

 

Anyone else know someone like this, id be interested to here stories on how they justify themselves. Some of the self delusional arguments ive had of late are just blowing my mind and i cant quite get my head around it. Why would someone go to such lengths to not be at fault, to even go on the offence and attack the non guilty party when all they had to do was say, im sorry.

 

discuss

 

welcome to crappy flatmates justifying why they didn't have to do their own dishes example from 7 years ago, no longer live with.

 

For the first few weeks with living with him, I let his dishes pile up (we have a dishwasher), removing anything from the bowl of the sink so that i can do stuff like fill a saucepan with water or wash lettuce, then every few days i clean the kitchen of all his shit using multiple dishwasher loads. This continues for these first few weeks, with me on occasion making very polite reference to the obvious.

 

Then I finally, having completed the experiment and having the weight of weeks of evidence to back up my criticism. State in no uncertain terms that he is taking advantage of a good friend who has been doing all his dishes for him, and could he finally take some personal responsibility for his shit in the communal area.

 

Do you know how he rebuts what to me seems an open an shut case. He gets angry at me (well this should be obvious, it's a basic ploy of this type of personality) then swings with the most ridiculous excuse i've ever heard, "You have been doing all the cleaning straight away before i've had a chance to get to it."

 

Now once the bully personality has his rebuttal, he will usually stick with it to the death, it is the only ground from which the argument is allowed to continue forth. Forcing you to somehow logically defend against the completely illogical whilst caught up in the realm of the absurd. Which of course isn't possible, so the creature has put you on the back foot, much loud noises are made, and nothing further is discussed let alone solved.

 

----

 

My first flatmate experience was the antithesis of this, when i moved in we even had a cleaning roster. They were pretty damn organised for jazz students. heh. And with this organisation came a kind of liberation both situationally and spiritually, for everyone living in that home.

 

eneewae, reads beyond the first post to the rest of the thread later, still trying to get through repoman before my brother comes home and we can watch iron man 2 on blue ray (yae).

[delet...]

Yeah, my dad does this. Not in an unruly way, but he'll never say 'sorry' or admit that he's made a mistake. Unfortunately he does more silly things as he gets older.

 

 

My dad did this as well, i think perhaps the transition from being this imperious overlord with your children, to the rise of some modicum of equality, can sometimes leave dads with a disconnect in their behaviour. In other words, they still think that they can say any old shit and that it will stand.

 

I've moved beyond this with my dad, thankfully. Now we both give each other space to talk equal measures of qit.

[Guest sine]

One of my sisters was/is like this.Never wrong,never sorry and always had to have the last word.I havent spoken to her for thirteen years now.Some people will never change and sometimes its better to bite the bullet than to keep making excuses for their bad behaviour.

[Guest the anonymous forumite]

Yeah people who never apologize and people who never say thanks annoy me. That's all I had to say, sorry. Thanks.

[gaarg]

A few years back I started saying "no!" when people wanted to apologize to me, if I knew they didn't mean it, or if they made the same error over and over again. I still do it, because I feel you can't really say it's ok, if it isn't. Anyone else do that?

[Hoodie]

my mom does this and that is why she is unmarried. love her to death, but it's the truth.

[Guest Babar]

blablabla you're all fucking cunts that surely notice the mote in your brother's eye but never see the beam in your own.

I perfectly identify myself with what kaen describe, i never apologize, and never admit that i'm wrong.

...uhhh wait

 

A few years back I started saying "no!" when people wanted to apologize to me, if I knew they didn't mean it, or if they made the same error over and over again. I still do it, because I feel you can't really say it's ok, if it isn't. Anyone else do that?

 

and i like your style gaarg.

[Guest tht tne]

i like the sarcastic apology... "i'm sorry... that you're an idiot," etc.

[gaarg]

i like the sarcastic apology... "i'm sorry... that you're an idiot," etc.

 

Really? You're one of those people? Oh damn...

[Guest tht tne]

i like the sarcastic apology... "i'm sorry... that you're an idiot," etc.

 

Really? You're one of those people? Oh damn...

 

only on watmm

[Zephyr_Nova]

My brother was kind of like that when he was younger, but he's a lot better now. Plus a lot of the time when he was in the wrong and knew it he might make an excuse that was obviously weak and would kind of chuckle about it. So it was kind of part a game... he wouldn't admit to being wrong or sorry, but it would kind of be acknowledged that he was at the same time. A lot of it is probably a confidence thing, a need to feel in control, etc. Maybe your friend is harshly self-critical and is trying to soften the blow to himself? Or maybe he's just a fucking dick.

[Guest Backson]

people in movies never say "thank you"

 

this upsets me

[Zephyr_Nova]

Or say goodbye at the end of phone calls, which weirded me out for the longest time until I became acquainted with people who were really like that. Their phone calls are always so efficient and time effective.

 

But then I feel like an asshole for saying "bye" to a dial tone.

[delet...]

Or say goodbye at the end of phone calls, which weirded me out for the longest time until I became acquainted with people who were really like that. Their phone calls are always so efficient and time effective.

 

But then I feel like an asshole for saying "bye" to a dial tone.

 

i used to do that, back when i actually bothered with phone conversations for stuff. There seemed no point in overly tedious goodbyes, just a well bye would suffice, shouldn't the fact that everything was attended to be enough of a reward for both individuals.

 

bloody savages... they moan about emotive stuff and then when it counts leave shit all over my kitchen. heh !!

[impakt]

I know a lot of people like this, I can't stand it.

[sidewinder]

I say sorry when I get in someones way in a corridor.

Same.

[pcock]

i just am never wrong so theres never any need

[goDel]

there was a recently released study where they tried to measure the degree of narcissism, among other things, of students, and compared to 20 years ago all the students were off the charts. other studies apparently confirm this notion of people getting more and more narcissistic. so, in other words, well done to us all. we've reached the limits of what people 20 years ago thought to be extreme narcissism. whehey

 

so yeah.

[Zephyr_Nova]

Or say goodbye at the end of phone calls, which weirded me out for the longest time until I became acquainted with people who were really like that. Their phone calls are always so efficient and time effective.

 

But then I feel like an asshole for saying "bye" to a dial tone.

 

There seemed no point in overly tedious goodbyes, just a well bye would suffice.

 

Well yeah, but I'm talking about phone conversations that end with no bye of any sort. There's just a point where it's understood that all the relevant info has been passed along, and then a click. Every phone conversation in any movie is like that, but I've only just started experiencing it in real life. It works just fine mind you, not offended by it at all, just reminded of it by the comment about no thank yous in movies.