curriculum vitae

[MildewOnRice]

kind of need a job, to pay for shit..

but i have no skills and few qualifications..

 

what kind of lies have you told in your CV to get a job?

[halisray]

You're fucked.

[Guest Gary C]

We've had this before.

 

I regularly lie about my final degree results. I tell them 2:1 rather than 2:2.

[Guest KY]

don't lie on your CV dude, that's so embarrassing.

[goDel]

none

[Guest KY]

none

[MildewOnRice]

don't lie on your CV dude, that's so embarrassing.

didn't mean like "i have a degree" type lies.

meant like how can i lie about myself to make me seem kewl and employable, in the bit where you have to describe yourself.

 

"i am good at working in teams" "i enjoy working with numbers" etc

 

need some good lies..

[Guest Coalbucket PI]

I've padded a few things out but never completely made anything up. Like I worked in a tiny shop where I didn't really have a job title but I figure since I was trusted to run the place on my own I should call myself assistant manager or something. I managed to accidentally imply that I went to Oxford for the interview for my current position, I think my supervisor still thinks I did, when in fact I was studying and I was in the town of Oxford for a bit but not attending the university in any form. I also hype up my interest in sports, I've found at interview they really seem to like it for some reason.

[keltoi]

"i pack a mean punch"

[patternoverlap]

try "flexible and goal oriented"

[goDel]

add some extra focus to certain things you've done in previous jobs. things which will help you in your new job.

[Guest Iain C]

i got my current job without a CV. it was a junior copywriter's position and i got it based solely on the strength of a good interview and a very strong writing portfolio i submitted with a covering letter. if they'd looked at my CV, i probably wouldn't have got the job!

[MildewOnRice]

previous jobs.

lol!

[Guest KY]

say you're willing to get down and dirty, and see how that pans out. wink a lot, too

[goDel]

previous jobs.

lol!

well, if you want to start lying, here it is...

[keltoi]

"i'm like warm clay"

[BCM]

"enjoys fisting"

[MildewOnRice]

just going to add some words like "flexible" "ambitious" "initiative" etc.

do people do that?

 

just remembered i turned down a job like 7 months ago cause im a lazy muthafucka.

what an idiot..

Edited December 20, 2010 by MildewOnRice

[keltoi]

"gay/bi-curious"

[Guest Gary C]

Oh yeah, in terms of the personal bits, I always say that I'm "goal oriented" (definitely bring that up in interviews), "arrange sports events with friends".

 

Mostly I just work an embarassing/funny/memorable story into some questions during an interview. It's worked in both of my last interviews.

 

If you have no experience or skills, then yeah, good luck. You probably need to start the at the very bottom.

Edited December 20, 2010 by Gary C

[keltoi]

"suck dick like a pro"

[Guest Iain C]

Mostly I just work an embarassing/funny/memorable story into some questions during an interview. It's worked in both of my last interviews.

 

 

Did you tell them about that time you were sick on a girl's face in a bar?

[Guest Enter a new display name]

I also lie about my motivations, my skills and my personality in my CV, but you still have to prove it during the interview, or at least keep your job. :/

[Guest Gary C]

Mostly I just work an embarassing/funny/memorable story into some questions during an interview. It's worked in both of my last interviews.

 

 

Did you tell them about that time you were sick on a girl's face in a bar?

 

Nah, I tell them the one about getting arrested in Utah and spending the night chained to three scary Mexicans.

[MildewOnRice]

how do you say "you can use my body" in body language?