Guest sirch Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 sounds brilliant sounds like stress. i had gut problems/pains towards the end of last year. thought i had an appendicits! it went away though. turned out it was just stress (girlfriend) related/poor diet/too much alcohol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baph Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 Unimaginable Cramp Pain, Piss-Diarrhoea, Vomiting, Hot/Cold Sweats, Muscle Cramps and The Faecal Stench Was Not Of This Earth tracklist for the new Snares EP? It's actually the EP title Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BCM Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Braintree Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 When you start to deflate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kakapo Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 yeah ulcerative colitis would be the worst case scenario, it could just be a very mild form of that... had no problems for a couple of months and nothing ever happened that frequently anyway, but a saw some blood a few times and went to the docs to be on the safe side...they did blood tests and things to rule out anything too serious (cancer I guess) and that was all 100% fine so now got to go to a gastroenterologist and see what he thinks....he may wish to insert a camera in my bottom :) I had a friend with those exact same symptoms last year. They ended up cutting both testicles and half his penis off. They managed to reattach some skin they had left over, but there was no 'meat' left. When he gets an erection now it's like a forlorn elephant's trunk, half tumescent with a roll of grey, leathery skin just hanging off the end. I'm sure you'll be fine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kokoon Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 genious. you are a genius. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Blanket Fort Collapse Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 I had one big satisfying shit today. One of those ones that makes you feel like you're walking on clouds as you stroll out of the latrine. I feel like this after approximately 56.9% of my poops Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baph Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 That's the black tar in action. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sirch Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 i like kakapo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dean789 Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 Nice thread! makes me proud to be a human Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaini Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 a work colleague once described the hard, black, compacted, ecstasy-moderated shits you have after a weekend of attending warehouse parties without toilets in such excruciating detail on a monday that i nearly wish i could recall it word-for-word. it was sheer poetry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caretstik Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 Ulcerative colitis can really kick your arse. So to speak. I can vouch for that, hence the removal of my colon. Now 12+ times a day at type 6 - 7 is my norm. Frequency doesn't mean much without also measuring mass. To help with my shit diary I painted lines inside the toilet bowl so I could measure the displacement. This proved inaccurate so I now simply shit into a plastic mixing bowl I keep by the toilet and use electronic scales, before emptying into the toilet and flushing. A little extra effort, but well worth it. Also now keep a visual and audio record using the memo feature on my iphone, but I wish there was a dedicated app, would probably sell well in France and Germany. I'm so glad you were unbanned Shit, I didn't know he ever was banned, but if ever there was no kakapo then I'd demand a rebate on my subscription. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady kakapo Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 yeah ulcerative colitis would be the worst case scenario, it could just be a very mild form of that... had no problems for a couple of months and nothing ever happened that frequently anyway, but a saw some blood a few times and went to the docs to be on the safe side...they did blood tests and things to rule out anything too serious (cancer I guess) and that was all 100% fine so now got to go to a gastroenterologist and see what he thinks....he may wish to insert a camera in my bottom :) I had a friend with those exact same symptoms last year. They ended up cutting both testicles and half his penis off. They managed to reattach some skin they had left over, but there was no 'meat' left. When he gets an erection now it's like a forlorn elephant's trunk, half tumescent with a roll of grey, leathery skin just hanging off the end. I'm sure you'll be fine. Don't worry, you can still live a fulfilling life with only half a penis, as kakapo himself will attest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BCM Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 unfortunately i already have only half a penis - they removed that and part of my epididymis during a bungled knee operation in 1995. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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