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stupid first world problems you're dealing with


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34 minutes ago, ignatius said:

and then once you're experienced with it to do it alone and listen to lot's of frank zappa and watch your favorite x-files episodes all night then at the end play squarepusher's My Sound from Music is Rotted One Note like 10 times in a row while laying on the floor in your shitty studio apartment in 1998 then when your GF gets home from her night shift at 9am she wonders why the place smells like acid farts. 

some new years eve ago i made the mistake to watch the baby snakes dvd in the beginning of my trip... worst idea ever...

31 minutes ago, ignatius said:

and then once you're experienced with it to do it alone and listen to lot's of frank zappa and watch your favorite x-files episodes all night then at the end play squarepusher's My Sound from Music is Rotted One Note like 10 times in a row while laying on the floor in your shitty studio apartment in 1998 then when your GF gets home from her night shift at 9am she wonders why the place smells like acid farts. 

some new years eve ago i made the mistake to watch the baby snakes dvd in the beginning of my trip... worst idea ever...

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Solo trips sound excruciatingly boring. Half the fun is trying to have a conversation with someone but both of you are so gacked out that you can hardly string a sentence together.

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8 minutes ago, Braintree said:

Solo trips sound excruciatingly boring. Half the fun is trying to have a conversation with someone but both of you are so gacked out that you can hardly string a sentence together.

only went solo 2 or 3 times. but enjoyed it as an exploration. 

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Alcohol withdrawal day 4:

I finally got some sleep, but I feel like a slug today.  I ate a full size breakfast for the first time since my last drink, and it's put me in bed for the past three hours.  I haven't been able to listen to music, read, or browse the internet at all (except to write this post).  I've been spending all of my time with friends who are helping me deal with the recovery, and today I'm in bed by myself thinking about the shit I had been numbing with alcohol.  The initial panic is over so I can finally think about it rationally.  CBD oil also helps.  I have a lot to make up for, though, and I hope it isn't too late.  My second AA meeting was last night and it was a nice time.  Booze sux.

This has been possibly the longest week of my life.

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@drillkicker that's great news. before you know it you'll have a lot of sober time under your belt. stick to the meetings and you'll find your way. day by day your world will improve. not saying it's easy. i'm sure it's challenging for many reasons but you've already done so much that is really difficult.  stay hydrated 🙂 

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It's kind of weird, but immediately after drinking I had a period of extreme emotional sensitivity and was crying like a baby multiple times a day.  Now I feel a weird tranquility.  I'm still dreading the things I need to do for myself but at least I'm not bitching about things I can't control.

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Just now, drillkicker said:

Also my gut has been complaining a lot about coffee.  Maybe I can work on my caffeine addiction next.

acid stomach? drink a ton of water. maybe pick up some Pepcid AC or some tums to chew on now and then. if you need less caffeine switch to black tea for a while. it's a good way to step down from coffee w/o getting the caffeine headaches. 

as for dreading things... try and stay in the present. projecting out too far can be overwhelming. those AA cliches are handy for leaning on. one day at a time etc. 

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2 minutes ago, ignatius said:

as for dreading things... try and stay in the present. projecting out too far can be overwhelming. those AA cliches are handy for leaning on. one day at a time etc. 

That's really hard to do because right after quitting the drink I got a deadline placed before me for something that I've been neglecting for over four years.  I told extralife about it, and it's weighing on my mind like a motherfucker.

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1 hour ago, drillkicker said:

That's really hard to do because right after quitting the drink I got a deadline placed before me for something that I've been neglecting for over four years.  I told extralife about it, and it's weighing on my mind like a motherfucker.

that's heavy. any time i've procrastinated on big things it became a big weight. as difficult as it was/is i found great relief in just getting things done. w/o knowing any details of what you're dealing with... i've at times had to just become emotionless about some things and just go through the motions until i'm far enough through it to be in the experience. sounds weird i know but "just don't think about it" is sometimes the only thing to do when suffering as a means of protection until it can be unpacked or whatever. usually that works with anxiety for me if i'm dreading something i have to do. i go through this every time i have a CT scan scheduled to check for the cancer. i'm fine until the week or so before then i just have to pretend i'm someone who isn't worried about it. 

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I can't sleep tonight.  I keep going through the same thought loops over and over and it won't stop.  I'm stressed out for no reason and there's no off switch.  Old memories keep coming back to me until they don't make any sense.  It's like when you repeat a word until it loses meaning, but for my whole life.

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12 hours ago, yekker said:

Looks like The Chiefs are throwing the Superbowl. Could they play any worse...

definitely the worst one of those I've watched in quite some time. so bad

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Sliced the shit out of my thumb on my right hand using the mandoline to slice potatoes. Then started bleeding all over the potatoes so I had to throw them in the compost and start all over again. Bollocks.

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32 minutes ago, chenGOD said:

Sliced the shit out of my thumb on my right hand using the mandoline to slice potatoes. Then started bleeding all over the potatoes so I had to throw them in the compost and start all over again. Bollocks.

I woulda eaten the blood tbh

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5 minutes ago, drillkicker said:
38 minutes ago, chenGOD said:

Sliced the shit out of my thumb on my right hand using the mandoline to slice potatoes. Then started bleeding all over the potatoes so I had to throw them in the compost and start all over again. Bollocks.

I woulda eaten the blood tbh

If it was just me yeah, but fam probably not down with it.

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Blood seems like it would compliment potatoes.  But I guess it is rude to serve your guests human blood, even if it's your own.

SFWP haven't eaten anything yet today, it's 8pm, yet I feel like I've already eaten something.  Why's it gotta be like this?

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My brother's wife smoked 2 incredibly dank smelling joints inside my house on sunday (normally would have asked her to step out because of how incredibly smelly the weed she was smoking was but there was a snowstorm...). And I'm still catching whiffs of it coming from the curtains in my bedroom. I smoke cigarettes and the occasional hash joint inside, which means my place sometimes smells like disgusting 2nd hand smoke anyway but this vile marijuana is a fucking olfactory nightmare.   

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