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stupid first world problems you're dealing with


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5 hours ago, brian trageskin said:

i went to the emergency department today, the x-rays showed no fracture. nothing broken apparently. my arm is fucking ruined though. anyway i can straighten my arm a bit now. can't do shit with my hand though (it's the right hand and i'm right-handed). the good news is i found a solution to my problem, i don't have to change my plans. just need to do something first.

the other good news is i fap with my left hand, so everything turned out pretty well in the end, it seems. 

Good time to practice your LH walking bass lines ?

Also congrats on the fapping 

3 hours ago, drillkicker said:

I hate myself every time I get stoned and eat whole packages of things.  It ruins the whole experience honestly.

Amen brotha

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Alcohol withdrawal day 4: I finally got some sleep, but I feel like a slug today.  I ate a full size breakfast for the first time since my last drink, and it's put me in bed for the past three ho

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11 hours ago, Alcofribas said:

this fucking sucks lol

Send them here and tell them your username. They’ll quickly realize what a mistake they made and never bother you again. Then you can rejoin your brethren here, where no vibin is done (nor indeed permitted). Problem solved. 
 

p.s. I’m selling this advice as an nft. 

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Don't believe Chen's lies.  As soon as she reads one of your album reviews, she's yours for good.  Take it from me, the guy who just posted this in the wrong thread:

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FWP: woman who seemed like a prospective longterm partner said she can't see us as a serious longterm thing due to different priorities.  But on the plus side, she really enjoys sleeping with me and would like to continue to do so on a casual basis.  It was a weird heartbreak/ego boost double whammy.  I initiated it by asking where she saw us potentially heading in the future.  Glad I got it out in the open sooner rather than later, especially since I'd been ignoring the apps out of a sense of loyalty to her.  Hopefully none of the new matches I've ignored for the last week and a half take offence at my super delayed intro message... the first one to message me seems like trouble.  

 

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I'm imagining it, and its effect is more obscene than any pornography I have ever witnessed.  A bit shaken up now tbqh, so I hope you're happy.  Next time some NSFW tags would be appreciated.

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1 hour ago, Alcofribas said:

@chenGOD @Zephyr_Nova

just imagine the effect it would have on someone I’m trying to woo - them just seeing post after posts of just “cybercum”

well I seem to remember you indicating how you weren't totally gung ho about going down this quite possibly romantic death march you are slowly embarking upon. in which case, don't point her here and tell her you're alco - tell her you're a certain unnamed member and believe in whacky things like communism, cryptos, ntf devices, and so forth. that'll have her running for the hills in no time, and leave you back to depressingly dwell in peace...

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1 minute ago, zero said:

well I seem to remember you indicating how you weren't totally gung ho about going down this quite possibly romantic death march you are slowly embarking upon. in which case, don't point her here and tell her you're alco - tell her you're a certain unnamed member and believe in whacky things like communism, cryptos, ntf devices, and so forth. that'll have her running for the hills in no time, and leave you back to depressingly dwell in peace...

grabbing her by the collar like batman and growling “where is it??? where’s my cum???”

Edited by Alcofribas
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GP rung me up to see how therapy was going and lied by saying i was decent and also lied when asked questions.

i genuinely dont know why i am incapable of telling the truth especially when doing so would benefit me..

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I tend to do this as well, everyone hates a negative Nancy. Even if it's to the detriment of my health/mental health/work situation. Someone should tell me to stop.

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A nice guy I knew when I previously frequented a local bar died yesterday. Didn't know him well but had a lot of good times. Not sure where to put this.

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57 minutes ago, Braintree said:

A nice guy I knew when I previously frequented a local bar died yesterday. Didn't know him well but had a lot of good times. Not sure where to put this.

ah fuck that sucks. it's a strange feeling. you'll have to raise a glass to him next time at the local. 

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On 4/5/2021 at 12:54 PM, Alcofribas said:

this fucking sucks lol

this is truly nightmarish to me. I cannot deal

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44 minutes ago, Alcofribas said:
On 4/5/2021 at 1:54 PM, Alcofribas said:

this fucking sucks lol

this is truly nightmarish to me. I cannot deal

Have you considered the lobster?

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44 minutes ago, Alcofribas said:
On 4/5/2021 at 1:54 PM, Alcofribas said:

this fucking sucks lol

this is truly nightmarish to me. I cannot deal

Have you considered the lobster?

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Beautiful day yesterday, so I go out for a walk in my flip-flops for the first time this year. I just went to the grocery store, put on my flip-flops again, and the skin between my toes are sore.

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5 minutes ago, eassae said:

Beautiful day yesterday, so I go out for a walk in my flip-flops for the first time this year. I just went to the grocery store, put on my flip-flops again, and the skin between my toes are sore.

You need the sandals that just go over the foot not in the toes.

 

5F1E3E10-17B7-4E7F-8A71-EC993EE73CAC.jpeg

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It won't stop snowing this year. And it's still icy everywhere. This winter is bullshit.

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15 minutes ago, Himelstein said:

You need the sandals that just go over the foot not in the toes.

 

Yes! But, I love mine. I've been ordering them from the same company for the past 20 years. I think the issue is that I just had to bust out a new pair.

IMG_0676.thumb.jpg.2e701026f779a755381d1a58a795a6b8.jpg

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7 hours ago, chenGOD said:

Have you considered the lobster?

Idk if you’re suggesting I go full DFW and kms or full JBP and clean my room

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16 minutes ago, eassae said:

Yes! But, I love mine. I've been ordering them from the same company for the past 20 years. I think the issue is that I just had to bust out a new pair.

IMG_0676.thumb.jpg.2e701026f779a755381d1a58a795a6b8.jpg

Yeah, those are really awesome, worth the toe rash!

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21 minutes ago, Alcofribas said:

Idk if you’re suggesting I go full DFW and kms or full JBP and clean my room

oh shit clearly the latter. I kind of forgot about that DFW collection/article...JBP has infected my brain like some sort of rotting cancer.

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On 4/4/2021 at 11:06 AM, Braintree said:

My new employer sent me a work phone and a laptop in two different packages that required a signature. I wasn't around when they were delivered so the phone was sent to a nearby store for me to pick up, but the laptop was just automatically returned to them instead. Tomorrow is the onboarding process and I have to use their computer to access it. I hope I don't have to do all this on a phone...

So I did the onboarding on my computer, but I'm still waiting on the laptop. In fact, I need the laptop to access the phone. It took them a couple days to send me a new one and it's taken a couple days to ship it to me. The signature is still required and the buzzer in my apartment building doesn't work so I'm getting up and looking out the window every two minutes and afraid to take a shit since we'll have to do this all over again if I miss it. I've basically missed my first week of work so my anxiety is going off the charts. I can't use anything but a company-approved laptop for security reasons.

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1 hour ago, chenGOD said:

oh shit clearly the latter. I kind of forgot about that DFW collection/article...JBP has infected my brain like some sort of rotting cancer.

i wish i could just be a jpb head cleaning my room all day

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34 minutes ago, Braintree said:

So I did the onboarding on my computer, but I'm still waiting on the laptop. In fact, I need the laptop to access the phone. It took them a couple days to send me a new one and it's taken a couple days to ship it to me. The signature is still required and the buzzer in my apartment building doesn't work so I'm getting up and looking out the window every two minutes and afraid to take a shit since we'll have to do this all over again if I miss it. I've basically missed my first week of work so my anxiety is going off the charts. I can't use anything but a company-approved laptop for security reasons.

I hope they're not using FedEx...

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