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stupid first world problems you're dealing with


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3 hours ago, Silent Member said:

I'm not trying to overanalyze anything but I've got a feeling the dinger is extra horny these days.

only a matter of time before he starts masturbating in public.

@dingformung DO NOT start jerking off behind trees as you ogle women you're thinking about fucking. I mean the German prison system is probably ok and all compared to the U.S., but still... 

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Alcohol withdrawal day 4: I finally got some sleep, but I feel like a slug today.  I ate a full size breakfast for the first time since my last drink, and it's put me in bed for the past three ho

I will say, in light of this being page 1000, that I’ve come to this community and vented quite a bit and (as probably the highest poster in this thread) found quite a lot of support, comfort, etc in

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/apr/04/two-workers-at-londons-pentonville-prison-die-from-covid-19 These were two of my friends who I've worked with for 13+ years. One of them I'm pretty s

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For some reason all of my friends have simultaneously stopped talking to me or become inaccessible right when I really can't be alone.  I don't understand why this doesn't happen to anyone else.  Most people seem to love solitude and make it through life without any difficulty, but I get stuck on the simplest things.  I can't focus on any distractions, they all feel shallow and pointless.  I've spent most of my week in bed, either sleeping or dwelling on my anxieties, with something in front of my face that I barely notice, vainly trying to convince myself that I'm calm.  I've been unbearably impatient and pissed off at everything and everyone, and the world only appears evil and sadistic.  The things that make other people happy look like spiteful mockeries.  The people who pretend to care about real problems are only trying to impress people so they can enjoy the same base pleasures without the underlying guilt.  How people can be so content with superficial comforts in this dimension of sorrow completely puzzles me.  One would have to be either profoundly stupid or despicably callous.  Or maybe there's a big secret to life that everyone knows but me.

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Anyone here into  paintings  drawings etc? That can tell me if there is been any art of that category released as of late that will probably be remembered in the future? Or is heavenly respected in that world.  I feel like whenever people talk about that kind of stuff they always talk about guys that are long dead.

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1 hour ago, drillkicker said:

For some reason all of my friends have simultaneously stopped talking to me or become inaccessible right when I really can't be alone.  I don't understand why this doesn't happen to anyone else.  Most people seem to love solitude and make it through life without any difficulty, but I get stuck on the simplest things.  I can't focus on any distractions, they all feel shallow and pointless.  I've spent most of my week in bed, either sleeping or dwelling on my anxieties, with something in front of my face that I barely notice, vainly trying to convince myself that I'm calm.  I've been unbearably impatient and pissed off at everything and everyone, and the world only appears evil and sadistic.  The things that make other people happy look like spiteful mockeries.  The people who pretend to care about real problems are only trying to impress people so they can enjoy the same base pleasures without the underlying guilt.  How people can be so content with superficial comforts in this dimension of sorrow completely puzzles me.  One would have to be either profoundly stupid or despicably callous.  Or maybe there's a big secret to life that everyone knows but me.

if you're being serious about some of this stuff, have you considered talking to someone IRL outside your circle of friends about what you're feeling/experiencing? talking through things does help. if you're friends aren't an option as an outlet, then perhaps a counsellor/psychologist?

I've been thinking about doing this again myself lately. been a long time since I went to talk to someone about stuff like that, and I do remember it brought some temporary relief. it was for social anxiety issues I was experiencing back in my early 20's.

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1 hour ago, zero said:

if you're being serious about some of this stuff, have you considered talking to someone IRL outside your circle of friends about what you're feeling/experiencing? talking through things does help. if you're friends aren't an option as an outlet, then perhaps a counsellor/psychologist?

I've been thinking about doing this again myself lately. been a long time since I went to talk to someone about stuff like that, and I do remember it brought some temporary relief. it was for social anxiety issues I was experiencing back in my early 20's.

Nah, I don't think it's my problem I think it's society's problem.  We shouldn't be living in such an isolated way and I know I'm not the only one who's been left behind.  We just need to wait for the current iteration of human civilization to blow up into something else.  Until then, my problems are going to persist and I just have to deal with it.

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Also, I've realized that a very effective way to deal with despair is by drinking a small amount of alcohol.  The mistake I made before was drinking and then drinking more and more, which actually produces the opposite of the desired effect.  But if I just drink half a beer and then stop for a while it keeps me at just the right state, where I'm happy and yet I'm still mentally aware and capable of doing most things (obviously not driving).

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2 hours ago, drillkicker said:

Nah, I don't think it's my problem I think it's society's problem.  We shouldn't be living in such an isolated way and I know I'm not the only one who's been left behind.  We just need to wait for the current iteration of human civilization to blow up into something else.  Until then, my problems are going to persist and I just have to deal with it.

Ok cool. sometimes hard to read people's intentions on here, so wasn't sure if you were struggling or not.

and as far as it being society's fault and not your own for whatever you're dealing with - biggest issue I have to deal with on a professional level is personal accountability. no one ever wants to own up to fuck ups. most folks always try and push anything not going smoothly onto someone or something else. I am usually the guy that has to step in and own problems not of my own making. that shit is not always easy. it requires some definite game plan knowledge, and I really wish I had a better way to convey this skill on my resume so I could get a better job.

anyway, whatever happens happens. it's all good. none of this shit matters man. fuck it.

 

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I'm just having a hard time accepting my role.  It's become clear at this point that I have to be a loner.  I don't want it, but that's just who I have to be.  At the moment I'm fighting against it and it's only making things harder.

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55 minutes ago, drillkicker said:

I'm just having a hard time accepting my role.  It's become clear at this point that I have to be a loner.  I don't want it, but that's just who I have to be.  At the moment I'm fighting against it and it's only making things harder.

I´m a loner too and I embrace it. I tried to have a relationship, but even tho she loved me despite my personality, I simply could not feel "okay". I need to feel free to love and feel love. And people start to appreciate that sincerity

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1 hour ago, logakght said:

I´m a loner too and I embrace it. I tried to have a relationship, but even tho she loved me despite my personality, I simply could not feel "okay". I need to feel free to love and feel love. And people start to appreciate that sincerity

Yeah, my problem is I can only fall in love with people I can't possibly have in a romantic way.  But I'm currently dating someone who I don't love and can't love.  Romance is a tasteless joke.

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8 hours ago, drillkicker said:

For some reason all of my friends have simultaneously stopped talking to me or become inaccessible right when I really can't be alone.  I don't understand why this doesn't happen to anyone else.  

I can completely relate to you on this. 
Throughout the pandemic, I feel like most of my friends have vanished. I know that there’s obviously been a lot of unprecedented complication but it’s really weird that nobody even cares about keeping in touch. I’ve pretty much stopped trying with a lot of people that I would have never expected that sort of thing from. It was especially strange because we were expecting a baby throughout most of 2020 but nobody seemed to care. It made the isolation that much worse. I had my wife throughout it all but still, it hurts to see people peeling away. I wonder if it is actually some kind of phenomenon that people dig deeper into their own isolation in times of extreme challenges. 
Anyway. I talk to a therapist every week. I highly recommend it. 
btw, I’m pretty sure one of my “friends” who was radio silence for months may have just propositioned me for sexual favors in return for helping him out with a personal project. Incredibly awkward but also a bit sad. I’m like, can’t we just hang out and be pals? I miss hanging out with friends enough, now I feel like I’m only valuable if I can help someone out. Kinda bullshit… also WTF?? :wtf:

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I don't even know where to start and I won't get myself started any further.

 

It's all my own responsibility to change things for my own good, but... I don't even know where to start. And I don't want to.

This is all so ugly. Disgusting to look at. Reality, life etc.

Even when there is some beauty it is surrounded by a lot of ugliness.

 

Why isn't everything beautiful?

 

This place is making me cringe.

This whole city.

 

It's not the good kind of ugly, it's the disgusting kind.

I need a lot of money as soon as possible. Don't know how, though (yet).

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I want to be a better person.

I want to be more healthy.

I want to be more evolved.

I want to be more intelligent.

I want to be less ignorant.

I want to be more tolerant.

I want to be more open minded.

I want to be less judgmental.

I want my life to be more organised.

I want my life to be more interesting.

And I don't know how. How how how how... I feel like nobody can give me an answer that I want to hear. There is no easy way, unless there is.

Who knows?

I just want to be strong enough to do my own thing. I want to be brave.

And I want to be proud of myself.

I am proud of myself.

I am proud of myself.

I am proud of myself.

I am proud of myself.

 

This day has been quite good.

I am proud of myself.

I am proud of myself.

 

I want to be proud of myself.

 

I am so much better than I thought I was.

I have been so much more than I ever knew I could be.

And now I'm feeling that all progress was for nothing and  I'm not even going to make it. Whatever that means.

My life sucks so bad.

 

I really don't know how to make things better. It just doesn't work. I try and try and try... and I get nowhere.

I'm not satisfied with myself, life, people, everything.

 

My brain is so full of shit and I can't get it out.

I hate this so much. I feel like I'm made of shit and I'm surrounded by shit. I want to die. I wish I was a baby again. Everything was so much easier then.

 

Who the fuck do I think I am?

 

I can't even converse in universe - the universal language

 

I am programmed to fail, and the biggest fail is not trying. I succeed at failing all the time. It’s not hard being a loser. When I try I fail, when I don't try, interesting things happen. So I stop trying and everything turns golden (well, sometimes...).

 

I just finished a very long ride on my bike. I think I have been riding the bike for 12 hours and it was aesthetic as fuck, the music, the landscape, but also kind of pointless, which was the point, I guess. No goal, just flow etc.

 

I need better clothing. I need better sunglasses. I need contact lenses, I need a better bike and better bike lock. I need to stop looking like a dip shit.

 


I need to stop being a dip shit.

I need to stop being such a dip shit.

I need to stop being such a dipshit.

I need to stop being such a dipshit.

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19 hours ago, Wunderbar said:

Anyone here into  paintings  drawings etc? That can tell me if there is been any art of that category released as of late that will probably be remembered in the future? Or is heavenly respected in that world.  I feel like whenever people talk about that kind of stuff they always talk about guys that are long dead.

Living painters i love (and that are all pretty famous/recognized):

Frank Auerbach

David Hockney

Gerhard Richter

Daniel Richter

Cecily Brown

Celia Paul

Mark Bradford

Anselm Kiefer

Adrian Ghenie

Peter Doig

Pierre Soulages

Tony Bevan

John Virtue

Paula Rego

Some famous ones only died recently: Lucian Freud, Louise Bourgeois, Leon Kossoff for example.

 

 

Edited by thefxbip
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My debit card got charged four times yesterday for lunch at a Filipino food truck I go to during work on Fridays. It was partly my fault though, because I repeatedly inserted my card into the card reader thinking it wasn't going thru, because it was out of receipt paper. The girl working there didn't seem to know how to fix it either.

I left them a message under the guise of a review, hoping there's a way to void three of the charges. Nothing fraudulent, but still. I should've left that janky-ass card reader alone after the first swipe. Hope I hear something back from them soon.

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I drove back to my hometown to visit friends and now my car is broken down and I'm stuck here.  I'm supposed to start my new job on Monday.  I'm kinda hoping I don't make it just because I'm feeling self destructive right now.  I want to ruin everything I have so I can finally quit trying to be happy.

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hang in there bud, sleep is good. then you have a whole day tomorrow to chill n' feel thangs out. sunday evening you will know. 

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1 hour ago, drillkicker said:

I drove back to my hometown to visit friends and now my car is broken down and I'm stuck here.  I'm supposed to start my new job on Monday.  I'm kinda hoping I don't make it just because I'm feeling self destructive right now.  I want to ruin everything I have so I can finally quit trying to be happy.

This is how you do it. Stop the hustle, give up your dreams and die. When you are dead, things will be better. But maybe you already are dead and just don't know it. Anyway, existence is constantly changing, whether you are dead or not, so you needn't to pursue any kind of safety for yourself, it only gets you stuck at where you already are. Safety and hope are the enemy. Any kind of safety is illusional, any kind of hope only gets you stuck with certain ideas that will never work out the way you plan them.

So, you need to be a little bit crazy, you need to be a little bit stupid, you need to be a little bit dumb. You need to be a little bit childish. You need to be a little bit ignorant (you don't really know anything anyway). You need to be a little bit uneducated. You need to be a little bit stupid. You need to be a little bit irresponsible. You are naive if you think that your plans will work out as you imagined. You are naive if you think that you can make it happen. You are naive if you think that you can make yourself happy. You are naive if you think that you can make yourself free.

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