stupid first world problems you're dealing with

[ignatius]

16 hours ago, luke viia said:

God, I'm such a softy. I honestly feel bad about blowing up on that guy on the phone. I don't want to hurt people, and it's so rare for me to do that kind of thing... when I get legit angry I go straight for the jugular and guilt plagues me for months to years. It's not who I want to be. Ugh, I'm just so sad about losing that place, I really care about it. Being misled was just too much for me I guess.

i understand the feeling. i have to restrain a mean streak sometimes but once in a while it's best to let it out. it's a fine line. i think he deserved it and probably needed to hear it. sounds like a person who is being let off easy all the time because of his position. so, i bet there's numerous people in your corner saying "finally, someone told him off".  i get the guilt you feel but don't hold on to it. forgive yourself the outburst and move on. you've given that guy enough thought already. 

[Berk]

Following a course on education. It's got all these theories about stuff that so blatantly should be obvious to anyone. 

"Education will be more successful, when the things you teach are better aligned to experiences and surroundings of the students." No shit!

Now reading up on the S.O.F.T.E.N. method

Spoiler

THE SOFTEN MODEL.

SMILE at the person who is talking.

OPEN posture and face the person who is talking.

FORWARD LEAN slightly towards the speaker.

TIME should be allowed for the speaker to talk without interruptions.

EYE CONTACT should be made without staring.

NOD occasionally to show acknowledgement

I shit you not.

If you need a book for all this common sense you should at least look for another job but probably it's better to just end it right away come on

 

 

[Berk]

Yeah had some bad experiences with landlords as well. The big companies are usually ok, it's the 'solo cowboys' that are usually real pieces of shit

[milkface]

On 1/31/2023 at 1:39 PM, ignatius said:

are you going for the fights or the music?

We went and it was amazing but I take back my earlier comments lol, despite their age there were still a few moments of beef on stage haha

[milkface]

On 2/12/2023 at 1:10 AM, luke viia said:

My old landlord is trying to fuck me over. He made a bunch of promises when he needed my help, puppy-dogged me on the phone acting all apologetic that my lease had to end (situation was outta my hands - and entirely in his), asked me if I could move out early, he'd help me financially if so, that they'd reimburse me for repairs I've done, they'd let me keep stuff in the home for a few months after I was gone (no other tenants are moving in), I'd get my full deposit back no questions asked etc. I told him I wanted all this in writing, he said he would, never did, ignored my calls for weeks at a time, ignored my emails, etc. So finally I wrote it all out myself and said "please confirm our prior agreements, and let me know if changes need to be made to what I've written." No response for weeks, full voicemail inbox.

He's gone back on *every single one* of those promises. And I did move out early. Costing me a goddamn ghetto fortune. 

Yesterday he called -- I'd been asking him to email me for weeks -- and told me they'll have to charge me full February rent (I was out on the 7th). That was the *first* thing he said.

In my entire life I've never popped off on someone like I did with this fucker. Eventually he hung up on me. I mean, I would have hung up on me too. I called him out, called him a manipulative, incompetent, lying fuck that has no business doing his job; that his co-workers all hate him (that's true, they've told me), that the neighbors want to sign a collective letter about how angry they are about my leaving this place (I was a park caretaker), that if he doesn't live up to his word I'll be writing a company-wide email telling the entire story of how he botched this project, fucked me over, fucked the park over, and lied to get his way and is now weaseling out of his responsibility. If I had been with him in person I probably would have punched him in the mouth. 

So yeah, he hung up on me. I was fucking furious, I don't think my mind even knew what was coming out of my mouth. The part about his co-workers hating him really upset him lol, and I admit, that was pretty brutal, but seriously, fuck this guy. I tried to help him and he is absolutely fucking screwing me out of thousands of dollars. 

tldr kill all landlords

Edited February 13, 2023 by milkface

[zero]

fun fact: I was a landlord once 10ish years go. was a good learning experience. bought a glass box in the sky type condo, lived in it for a while, then rented it out when I moved out of country. rented it to a woman going through a divorce in her late 50's, who worked at a library, made good $, and played keyboard. she paid rent on time, and all was well for a year at least. I didn't raise the rent on her after a year because I'm not greedy like that. then into year 2, a problem arose with the dishwasher, then later with the kitchen sink. as mentioned, I lived far away and couldn't go check it out myself. I asked the condo mgmt for a recommendation on a repair guy, they gave me one, and he seemed pretty solid. he was a one man show running his own business, and in my experience, those type of guys aren't as prone to screw someone over.

anyway, he fixed the dishwasher first time, as that was the problem then. then a short time later, the tenant complained about the sink backing up, or something like this. so I called repair guy again and he went out. he called me after he attempted to repair it (not in earshot of the tenant) and was like I think the tenant is putting some nasty shit down the sink or sumthin, because the sink is like starting to rust out at the bottom. and the building was less than 10yrs old, so that is not normal. now came the tough part. do I go to the tenant to point the proverbial finger and be like wtf are you putting in there, because if it's bad shit, then you should be partly on the hook for paying for the repair. or do I not do that. so I politely asked about it, and she claimed she was not putting anything weird down the drain. so ok, I will pay for it then. the repair dude had put some sealant or something like this to fix it and sink worked fine. 

then a little while later, another complaint about the damn sink. repair guy goes back out and said the rusty-ness has gotten much worse, and looks like I need to buy a whole new one. I again asked the tenant if anything she could think on as to why a new-ish sink is rusting like that, and she says no clue. so I went ahead and bought a new one, which was a major PITA because I had to do it all from far away, including coordinating delivery on it, getting repair dude back there, etc., and listening to the tenant bitch about how inconvenient it was with no sink. which at this point I assumed was her own damn fault. but nonetheless, I held my tongue, and paid for all of it.

a few months later we decided to sell the condo. the realtor who went there to list it, take pictures, etc. was like uh I don't think this tenant is very clean. realtor sent me pictures and the floors were all scratched up, the appliances were stained, and looked like it hadn't been dusted/vacuumed in like the whole time tenant lady was there. this more or less sealed the deal in my mind that the sink was her fault, but nothing I could do by then. IIRC I also didn't even charge tenant lady for the cleaning bill I had to pay after she left, and gave her back her full deposit. condo market was hot then and I was gonna make a hefty profit, so was like why tf do I even want to bitch over this.

just wanted to throw it out there. this is not directed at anyone really. there are definitely shitty landlords, but can be shitty tenants. I too was a renter for a long time, and always hated the rents being raised like clockwork. 

[ignatius]

a friend i've known since i was 5 yrs old had a heart attack. according to his wife it was pretty bad. he's home now and resting. i hope to get a call from him in a week or two or three to hear how he's doing and get details etc and swap stories about 911 calls and ambulance rides to hospital for traumatic health events. he has done well financially and is part of a good healthcare system where he is so i know he'll get excellent care. still, wtf it sucks to be like 8 states away. haven't seen him in years but he's one of those people i could immediately pick up w/like i saw him yesterday.  so, would be nice to be around to lend a hand. 

less a FWP and more a wtf is w/getting old, man? 51 yr old people shouldn't be having heart attacks. 

[Limo]

5 hours ago, ignatius said:

51 yr old people shouldn't be having heart attacks. 

51 year old is, unfortunately, when the lottery starts. Really sucks.

 

[luke viia]

i've been trying to cancel my internet service with centurylink for days. their online chat redirects me to endless "specialists" who keep transferring me, i can't use their website to do it (wtf??) and i'm pretty sure they dropped my call after being on hold for an eternity. eventually the phone rang once, then dead silence. it's been ~15 minutes since that happened - i'm still holding on. cant bring myself to go back to the end of the queue and endure the movie announcer voice interrupting the loudest yacht rock bullshit literally every 8 seconds to tell me how easy it is to get support and how much they care about me. and i'm also currently chatting with someone named Armando who is "taking a few minutes to review my account" and has now asked me for my cell phone number. jfc.

#boringdystopia

oh, okay. the chat man just disconnected it for me. i think. goddamn. these corporations are living nightmares.

[ignatius]

15 hours ago, luke viia said:

oh, okay. the chat man just disconnected it for me. i think. goddamn. these corporations are living nightmares.

if it's billed to your credit card  you can stop that process probably via your bank.  and yeah.. they are terrible. usually for internet/cable they have a "suspend service" thing somewhere or "are you moving?" thing you can click on. maybe you can outsmart their protocols?

sadly the waiting on hold thing is the modus operandi. i think i waited 4 hours once when i was trying to fix a problem early in pandemic w/my unemployment benefits. but literally the whole state was on hold trying to do the same  thing so was understandable. 

anyway.. good luck!

[Alcofribas]

On 2/12/2023 at 2:24 PM, luke viia said:

God, I'm such a softy. I honestly feel bad about blowing up on that guy on the phone. I don't want to hurt people, and it's so rare for me to do that kind of thing... when I get legit angry I go straight for the jugular and guilt plagues me for months to years. It's not who I want to be. Ugh, I'm just so sad about losing that place, I really care about it. Being misled was just too much for me I guess.

haha i'm the same way. a few years ago i was riding my bike in the left lane approaching an intersection to make a left turn. some guy was riding me super hard and honking. we get to the intersection and the light is red so he pulls up beside me already yelling so i slapped his side mirror which unexpected exploded into a million pieces, like the whole plastic enclosure and everything. he tried to chase me driving insanely but i easily escaped since i was on a bike but goddamn did i feel really bad about that for a while. just felt like he pushed me and instead of keeping my cool i lost it. admittedly, as a round the year cyclist, i pride myself on not doing this on a nigh daily basis despite the incessant little bitch drivers pestering me.

[Zephyr_Nova]

Both the landlord and side mirror blowup stories are weirdly satisfying to hear about.  Assholes get away with being assholes far too often.  Probably not a good sign that such anecdotes warm my heart. (lap top suggested those)

[manmower]

I've been feeling deeply unhappy lately, worse than I have in a long time. There doesn't seem to be a specific reason why, more like I'm dissatisfied with everything about my life all of a sudden. I'm trying to chill and ride it out but I'm worried that I won't be able to keep it to myself and that I'll say something stupid to the wrong person in real life. I don't think bringing it up here is a great idea either but I'm giving it a shot anyway in case it gives me any sort of relief.

[ignatius]

5 hours ago, manmower said:

I've been feeling deeply unhappy lately, worse than I have in a long time. There doesn't seem to be a specific reason why, more like I'm dissatisfied with everything about my life all of a sudden. I'm trying to chill and ride it out but I'm worried that I won't be able to keep it to myself and that I'll say something stupid to the wrong person in real life. I don't think bringing it up here is a great idea either but I'm giving it a shot anyway in case it gives me any sort of relief.

do you have a journal? can keep a text file on your puter and empty your head into once in a while.  i do that some times and it turns into stories with made up characters and i forget what i was bummed about or whatever. 

but it's not uncommon to feel that way.. like you're a little raw and if someone scratches you even a tiny bit you're gonna let out all your thoughts on all the things to them in the line at the grocery store.  

reading a good book helps me. reading about a good plot with good characters occupies my brain and i stop thinking baout my own shit.. 

or i disconnect from the issues/problem and step back and pretend i'm someone else examining it from the outside then i try to be objective and wonder what it is exactly i'm feeling bummed about or disappointed etc. 

^^^^ even writing that all out feels a little weird but we're only human and we're all dealing with varying amounts of stuff that's relative to us.  you're probably stronger than you think but doesn't mean some non-judgemental person won't be receptive to your woes/venting one day.. ya just never know who that person is.. also, there's nothing wrong w/spilling the beans.. i've done it with a friend i was super close to at the time and she and I each bared all our business in these long form text chats over periods of months.  there was phone sex at some point so it was a good round trip or something. 

[manmower]

Thanks man, that was a pretty awesome reply, I have zero regrets about making the previous post now.

It seems so obvious that the planet is teeming with people who can relate but it's nice to hear from one of them.

I've been resisting "examining" it, and now I'm wondering if that's because I know deep down it's something stupid and ugly like jealousy driving all of this. Even though intellectually I know what others do or have would never work for me. Maybe I just need to face it and get over it instead of being so careful.

[zero]

2 hours ago, manmower said:

I've been resisting "examining" it, and now I'm wondering if that's because I know deep down it's something stupid and ugly like jealousy driving all of this. 

mental deep diving to get to the root cause of it, is the only way you'll gain insight into whatever it is that is bothering you. and through insight is how you will solve the "problem." this is one of the benefits of having consciousness. humans have the ability to reverse engineer their emotions. avoiding facing it only drags out the unhappiness/negative state. and yeah, chances are your unhappiness is based on something that is out of your control any way....the fuckin key to life is happiness man. it's really that simple. exercise, eat right, meditate, avoid negative people. and listen to a shit load of music.

[diatoms]

24 minutes ago, zero said:

mental deep diving to get to the root cause of it, is the only way you'll gain insight into whatever it is that is bothering you. and through insight is how you will solve the "problem." this is one of the benefits of having consciousness. humans have the ability to reverse engineer their emotions. avoiding facing it only drags out the unhappiness/negative state. and yeah, chances are your unhappiness is based on something that is out of your control any way....the fuckin key to life is happiness man. it's really that simple. exercise, eat right, meditate, avoid negative people. and listen to a shit load of music.

                                          really like this:)

[cruising for burgers]

wtf is jealousy anyway? of course starving people want food from other people... is that jealousy? are they jealous because they don't want to starve?

am I jealous of you that do good music just because I want to make good music?

the fuck I am, I want to make good music, I don't wanna be you... even if you didn't exist I'd love to be able to make good music... what I feel is frustration, and that's something of mine that I need to take care of... solution: I stopped trying... and now I have way more fun when listening to music... it was unbearable listening to music and always trying to take it apart and know how it was done, took all the fun out of it...

take that Christian bulshit out of your brain...

 

edit: I definetly sound dumband crass saying shit like this so just get some salt and enlighten me pls...

Edited February 21, 2023 by cruising for burgers

[cruising for burgers]

https://www.mindbloom.com/
 

Quote

 

At-home ketamine therapy with amazing outcomes.

Suicide is a leading cause of death for Americans between the ages of 20 and 60. Mindbloom can bring hope to those who’ve lived with thoughts of self-harm and suicide.

 

 

 

yeah I'm as surprised as you...
 

[cruising for burgers]

@manmower my man, do u have sleep/sensory deprivation tanks over there in Belgium?

[luke viia]

1 hour ago, cruising for burgers said:

https://www.mindbloom.com/
 

 

 

yeah I'm as surprised as you...
 

this is cool and K is my fav and hugely helpful for depression/anxiety -- that said, I just answered 10,000 questions and eventually ended at a page telling me I could get their introductory program for three payments of $386 USD. cool. street is a way better dealer and the k hole frequency is my call. me and music for airports will be chillin in the dark while in this shit takes off but it's a good start, i appreciate michael pollan and the other boomers making this happen

[manmower]

14 hours ago, cruising for burgers said:

@manmower my man, do u have sleep/sensory deprivation tanks over there in Belgium?

Sure, I don't know about sleep (?) but those flotation tanks are a thing here, no idea how common though. I've always mentally filed them in the same department as sauna, pedicure, wellness center type stuff, perhaps wrongly.

I've been trying to do some more, let's say, critical self-examination (thanks @zero by the way) and it does seem to be helping. Although admittedly I am also taking a fair bit of 5-HTP now to make it all a little easier.

The jealousy thing, I don't know if jealousy or envy is the better word for it. But I've been doing well for years when it comes to not comparing myself to others. And now all of a sudden it's like this chain reaction where I slipped and stopped loving myself and next thing I know I'm almost wishing bad on others. It's so obviously stupid when I try to look at it somewhat objectively, but at the same time it can become a vicious circle real quick.

I also caught covid recently, finally if you will after three years of pandemic. And the though has crossed my mind that I'm going through some sort of (post-)viral thing. Either way thinking about my current state of mind in terms of "catching a virus" seems helpful in itself.

[cruising for burgers]

btw, there's no such thing as pure altruism... in the end, we always do it for our own good, we help someone in need because it makes us feel good...

[Alcofribas]

i work in a restaurant. it's a japanese restaurant, owned by a japanese guy, and most of my coworkers are from japan. it's a good gig, good pay and bc it is a traditional japanese fine dining spot in the midwest, it's kind of cut off from industry bullshit. it's a hidden gem, it's got it's own thing going on. but we have this guy who works there, this clownish white boy, who has become the "beverage director" and he just brings so much of the corny, status quo industry bullshit to the job: he's exceedingly vain, cartoonishly pretentious, he acts like he's the boss and talks down to people and behaves in a way that is very cliche annoying boss type behavior. i mean, he has been telling people he is "the manager" of the bar, although...he simply is not the manager (lmao). he tells people this to look superior to the staff (he refers to his coworkers as "his staff") bc he thinks being "the manager" makes him look cool and powerful. he's the kind of guy who will bring a literal armful of books to work, just so people will see them and think he's really smart. one time he was even just carrying a Marx book around jfc. just a total wanker, a poseur, totally inauthentic. this is a new style of a very typical guy - he pretends to be sensitive and not like the other guys, but the second he gets a title at a job he's acting like a little tyrant and saying he "runs" the joint, totally taking credit for all the hard work everyone else does, and generally be an all around little bitch. the actual manager of the place is also a smug, pretentious white boy. an upper west side "i'm from new york" guy who relaxes by watching criterion channel new wave films while wearing $300 selvedge jeans. let me be clear, these guys are super lame. totally unimpressive. the beverage director is basically a bimbo, and the manager is just a low hanging bougie guy who doesn't realize he's basically a breathing statistic from a pierre bourdieu study.

anyway, i rarely encounter the manager bc he's neglectful and unimportant to the service which is run by us workers along side the owner. but the beverage director is always around, saying embarrassing shit, talking down to the staff, telling 21 year old women he's the manager, using big words he mispronounces bc he's a jackass (he recently described himself as an "incorrigible rastabout [sic!]", etc. and since he's so self-obsessed, he's naturally not doing his share of the job. and wouldn't you know, the "i'm from new york" manager constantly makes excuses for him and refuses to ever lift a finger to help us out with this guy. so the experience is like our mom married a guy with a kid and he's like the terrible step son who the father refuses to ever chastise and who instead blames us for not being nice enough to his beautiful boy. and goddamn this is some pathetic shit. we're all an older crew for the most part (most of us are in our 40s) and these two numbskulls are 29-30 and every time i encounter them it's just full danny glover i'm too old for this shit mode. like, being a pretentious guy who is into wine is so corny and plaid out, why must i be around some kid who thinks this makes him special and important? dude is literally just using adjectives and comparing alcohol to other drinks and food items. he thinks he's some kind of genius for this. just absolute smallest dick energy possible - cosplaying as a manager in 2023 my god man this is sad. then he's all #ally on his social media and shit. i feel like i'm working with richy rich or frances from pee-wee's big adventure or smth. 

so yeah man, i'm just trying to come into work, crush my shift, be chill and vibe with my japanese crew. eliminate these psuedo PMC dipshits please!

[zero]

1 hour ago, Alcofribas said:

one time he was even just carrying a Marx book around jfc.

lmao. are there any non-pretentious wannabe commies out there? hahaha

hey that should be your play somehow. use the magical power of Karl against him.