stupid first world problems you're dealing with

[Guest]

sucks dude..

i think i found the best video on the internet (<- avatar related), and think this is the apex of my internet-stay.. does anything get better than chillpin? i dont know man..

[usagi]

Girlfriend broke up with me...

 

Self-pity is intense these days

 

But now I have time for dank memes again

 

sympathies/lol. this is the most appropriate relationship status possible for a dank meme lord.

[Cryptowen]

livin that vaporwave lifestyle

(life is small fragments of previous experience incased in thick haze, primarily designed to be documented on the internet)

 

sometimes i feel very strongly that i should give up on trying to have "fun", forging meaningful relationships, having serious romance etc etc. because trying to get that stuff hasn't done much for me or for anyone else

 

just put all my energy into my projects, let the beauty of nature etc be the reward. and then i'll get really zen & skillful & maybe then i will allow myself to experience love with another person

 

either that or i'll be like 60yo tonetta//outsider musician in a grimey apartment with a shit-ton of tracks, totally detached from society. stick my head in the oven. i mean shit i've already got a ton of tracks & a feeling of detachment c'mon people it's go time

[KovalainenFanBoy]

[Stock]

Relationship problems : been with my gf for a year and a half now, great girl, but sometimes she suddenly burst into rage for no particular reason. I learnt to adapt myself to this and been trying my best for months to make her happy and never annoying her too much - that means, a lot less spare time for me, less time for my studies, less time for my friends (some of them she doesn't stand...).

 

Lately she's been more and more sad, she often thinks I'm going to leave her alone (not true of course), and that created a lot of trouble because she's always a bit upset when I do something without her. But I'm happy with her, and don't want to hurt her feelings because deep inside I know she's a really good person.

 

Anyway, my friends are really saddened to see me, because from the outside things are not looking good and they want me to be happy as much as it's possible. And today my parents talked to me about her for a good while, basically saying same things as my friends ("ask yourself the good questions", "are you really happy in this relationship", "she's slowly taking you from your friends" etc etc etc).

 

I'm kind of depressed right now because I really don't know whether I'm happy or not. I know I don't want to break up with her but in the same time I know that's not a perfectly "sane" relationship, especially given the way she just can't stand me doing other things than being with her, or the way she blames me for almost everything (especially the feelings of loneliness she's having lately).

 

I'm a desperate optimist and I'm pretty sure things will get better and better with time but I'm starting to have doubts and I know that's no sign of well-being in a relationship.

 

Sorry for the long post but it's cool to freely speak about that here (because I don't even know how to engage such a conversation with her...)

 

TL;DR : i'm fucking lost.

[maitake]

Relationship problems : been with my gf for a year and a half now, great girl, but sometimes she suddenly burst into rage for no particular reason. I learnt to adapt myself to this and been trying my best for months to make her happy and never annoying her too much - that means, a lot less spare time for me, less time for my studies, less time for my friends (some of them she doesn't stand...).

 

Lately she's been more and more sad, she often thinks I'm going to leave her alone (not true of course), and that created a lot of trouble because she's always a bit upset when I do something without her. But I'm happy with her, and don't want to hurt her feelings because deep inside I know she's a really good person.

 

Anyway, my friends are really saddened to see me, because from the outside things are not looking good and they want me to be happy as much as it's possible. And today my parents talked to me about her for a good while, basically saying same things as my friends ("ask yourself the good questions", "are you really happy in this relationship", "she's slowly taking you from your friends" etc etc etc).

 

I'm kind of depressed right now because I really don't know whether I'm happy or not. I know I don't want to break up with her but in the same time I know that's not a perfectly "sane" relationship, especially given the way she just can't stand me doing other things than being with her, or the way she blames me for almost everything (especially the feelings of loneliness she's having lately).

 

I'm a desperate optimist and I'm pretty sure things will get better and better with time but I'm starting to have doubts and I know that's no sign of well-being in a relationship.

 

Sorry for the long post but it's cool to freely speak about that here (because I don't even know how to engage such a conversation with her...)

 

TL;DR : i'm fucking lost.

 

Don't sacrifice yourself for someone else's problems. You're not her psychologist/psychiatrist and when a relationship borders on that theme it usually doesn't work out. That or people spend the rest of their miserable lives together then die.

 

You don't have to hold grudge, resent or her for it, or even be nasty about the whole thing. Just make it very, very clear that you need space to continue bettering yourself (uni, friendships). I think sometimes significant others in this situation end up respecting the other party more for it, that they made a decision and went for it when things were going south.

 

Personally i've been rejected really fucking hard for being mental poison, and it wasn't until the other person told me to fuck off and never talk to them again did I re-evaluate what my behavior was doing to them. It actually helped me better myself and realize I wasn't taking care of me.

 

But I don't know her and I don't know any more than your post so keep that in mind..

[maitake]

 

lol i fucking love tonetta!!

i'd totally hang out with that dude and dance with my wang out

[Stock]

Personally i've been rejected really fucking hard for being mental poison, and it wasn't until the other person told me to fuck off and never talk to them again did I re-evaluate what my behavior was doing to them. It actually helped me better myself and realize I wasn't taking care of me.

 

But I don't know her and I don't know any more than your post so keep that in mind..

 

 

Wow you're being hard with yourself ! Good for you that you've been warned and evolved the right way :)

The problem is, I don't have the feeling my girlfriend will ever change...I do still believe she will, yet nothing ever changed, and it's eventually getting worse and worse.

 

I also already told her that I needed more time for me, my hobbies (not to mention uni of course) but it was like trying to pee into a violin...

[YangYing]

girls ain't easy!!!

[zkom]

Relationships.. more like relationshits, amirite

[Stock]

lol !

 

Apparently things are over. Did not want to get to that point but last messages we exchanged strongly sounded like a break up.

Going to spend the night probably playing DotA with a friend of mine I guess !

[maitake]

lol !

 

Apparently things are over. Did not want to get to that point but last messages we exchanged strongly sounded like a break up.

Going to spend the night probably playing DotA with a friend of mine I guess !

 

Sounds like an active volcano rather than a relationship. Take care of yourself man. Now's your chance!! Study hard and cook yourself some good food.

[Bechuga]

Had a great idea to make my novel slightly better and worked to implement the idea. Went to upload the new version and...Amazon says it's too close to publication to upload new versions.

So my book will release with a few typos, missing the new chapter breaks I wrote and a sentence that ends halfway through.

 

 

 

edit: the plus is that no-one so far has pre-ordered it, so no-one will notice

the downside is that no-one has pre-ordered it

Edited March 6, 2016 by Bechuga

[Zephyr_Nova]

Fell asleep before midnight, so now I'm wide awake at 3:30am. Everything is bullshit.

 

The above has been updated for current FWP... although technically it's 4:10 now. The wake-up itself was 3:30. I really need to just keep myself up until at least 2am to prevent this from happening.

[MadameChaos]

i accidentally put through the wrong time sheets for someone at work because i was too busy daydreaming about dick cakes.

Had a great idea to make my novel slightly better and worked to implement the idea. Went to upload the new version and...Amazon says it's too close to publication to upload new versions.

So my book will release with a few typos, missing the new chapter breaks I wrote and a sentence that ends halfway through.

 

 

 

edit: the plus is that no-one so far has pre-ordered it, so no-one will notice

the downside is that no-one has pre-ordered it

 

amazon

[mcbpete]

Dick cakes ?! What in blue blazes are dick cakes ?!

[MadameChaos]

it's a cake, in the shape of a dick.

 

it came to me (no pun intended) when i was thinking about the dilema earlier (which i can't be bothered to find) where i suggested "build her a cake"

 

or was that somewhere else.

 

can't remember.

 

anyway.

[Stock]

 

lol !

 

Apparently things are over. Did not want to get to that point but last messages we exchanged strongly sounded like a break up.

Going to spend the night probably playing DotA with a friend of mine I guess !

 

Sounds like an active volcano rather than a relationship. Take care of yourself man. Now's your chance!! Study hard and cook yourself some good food.

 

 

Thanks mate.

 

I saw her today, had to explain to her, face to face, why things wouldn't work this time. It was fucking heart-breaking to do, it felt awful. She told me she did not see that coming, then she told me to allow her another chance (problem is, I gave her loads of chances), that this time she would change for real, then she told me I was doing a mistake...

 

Stayed determined, really thinks it was the best thing to do even if it was painful for both of us. I did not want to try building something with her again with the risk of this situation repeating itself again and again and again...

 

Currently feel like an awful person tho.

[luke viia]

I know what you're going through, it truly does suck. Godspeed my dude. I just left a 5 year relationship (that was nowhere near as tumultuous as yours, but which had become stagnant and in which I realized I did not love her the way she hoped), and she's reacted the same way your partner did. Trying to negotiate, feeling as if she never saw it coming, telling me I am making a huge mistake (possible)...

 

Staying determined in our convictions is all we can do, really. We made our choices for a reason, and it sounds like each of us did it with both people's long-term best interest in mind. Have faith that you did the right thing.

 

Feeling like an awful person will pass - seems that's a natural part of causing a heart to break, of course. But we will all heal, and you are not an awful person.

Edited March 7, 2016 by luke viia

[QBLA]

Locked Threads That I Wanted To Post In!

[Stock]

I know what you're going through, it truly does suck. Godspeed my dude. I just left a 5 year relationship (that was nowhere near as tumultuous as yours, but which had become stagnant and in which I realized I did not love her the way she hoped), and she's reacted the same way your partner did. Trying to negotiate, feeling as if she never saw it coming, telling me I am making a huge mistake (possible)...

 

Staying determined in our convictions is all we can do, really. We made our choices for a reason, and it sounds like each of us did it with both people's long-term best interest in mind. Have faith that you did the right thing.

 

Feeling like an awful person will pass - seems that's a natural part of causing a heart to break, of course. But we will all heal, and you are not an awful person.

 

Thanks mate, really heart warming post. Well I'm trying to stay calm and ignore the hateful SMS I've been receiving the past few hours mostly because yeah, I think I did the right thing - and the most reasonable one. It's probably harder to be the one who sees what's wrong. Takes a lot of courage.

 

Good luck with what your dealing with as well

[ambermonk]

Tried to make homemade matcha (green tea) frappuccino but the ice cubes were too damn big and it came out a watery half-assed green sherbet ice mess. Oh well. Still tastes OK I guess.

[maitake]

 

I know what you're going through, it truly does suck. Godspeed my dude. I just left a 5 year relationship (that was nowhere near as tumultuous as yours, but which had become stagnant and in which I realized I did not love her the way she hoped), and she's reacted the same way your partner did. Trying to negotiate, feeling as if she never saw it coming, telling me I am making a huge mistake (possible)...

 

Staying determined in our convictions is all we can do, really. We made our choices for a reason, and it sounds like each of us did it with both people's long-term best interest in mind. Have faith that you did the right thing.

 

Feeling like an awful person will pass - seems that's a natural part of causing a heart to break, of course. But we will all heal, and you are not an awful person.

 

Thanks mate, really heart warming post. Well I'm trying to stay calm and ignore the hateful SMS I've been receiving the past few hours mostly because yeah, I think I did the right thing - and the most reasonable one. It's probably harder to be the one who sees what's wrong. Takes a lot of courage.

 

Good luck with what your dealing with as well

 

 

Ouch! Still sounds like you did the right thing. Sometimes people will react and realize they need to work on themselves, and sometimes they'll just throw a hissy fit and do fuck all, maybe find another person to leech off of. Either way, it's not your job on this planet to fix someone. Maybe the conditions of your relationship will appear very different now in retrospect. Cheers man

[MadameChaos]

my next work outing is on my birthday. i have to go, i'm trying to get a job with the client.

[Braintree]

If it's on a weeknight, you should just schedule your bday shenanigans for the weekend.

 

My FWP is that a few months ago I spent a lot of money on a bag. It has great embroidering on the custom art that I designed and it's a nice, durable bag, but it's fucking enormous. It's great for groceries and for traveling, but I need to buy another bag that's more pragmatic for my day-to-day business.