Fred McGriff Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 Earlier in the current 24 hr cycle (I use this terminology because it's 2:30 AM and I'm trying to avoid ambiguity. If I say last night it could mean two nights ago), I had pad thai for dinner. I decided to water my front lawn while eating pad thai, so I turned on the sprinkler. Just now I went to get a drink of water and realized that the sprinkler was still on. So I basically watered my front lawn for 6 hours, depleting all of the earth's resources in the process. More importantly, my water bill is going to be quadruple or something obscene like that. What's the best way to atone for hate crimes against earth? Plant a tree? not bathe for a month? never flush again? not bathe or flush for a month then flush yourself down the toilet? I hate myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fred McGriff Posted July 26, 2011 Author Share Posted July 26, 2011 off topic, but how illegal is it to hook up a "pirate hose" to your neighbor's faucet during odd hours of the night? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MAXIMUS MISCHIEF Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 you ruined everything Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karmakramer Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 this is not good Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Coalbucket PI Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 The water isn't lost yet, it takes hours to filter through the soil. If we assume half an hour per metre and you've watered for 6 hours you only need to dig a well 12m deep, and add 1m for every half hour you are digging. Then simply pump the water back up into all of the cups and bowls and tubs and buckets you own and telephone the water company to return it in the morning. No problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capsaicin Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 I'll trade half of my house's water supply for a brown-vinyl edition of SAW II by Aphex Twin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Enter a new display name Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 It must explain why the level of the river near my house is 3 meters lower than usual. :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soloman Tump Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 5,000,000 people in Sumali hate you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goDel Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 What were you thinking!? 6 hours equals 5,3 trees, btw. If I were you, I'd choose one of those fast growing kinds. By the time the Sumalis can actually get back on their feet again, you're being covered by just enough trees to save you. Good luck with saving your ass, you ignoramus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Deep Fried Everything Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 i was wondering why my water levels were low this morning.. thanks a lot mcgriff! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baph Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 32 spotted owls just dropped dead in front of my apartment. In its final moments, one of them managed to scrawl in the dust of the sidewalk: "none moar watterr." I've been weeping for the last 30 minutes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Npoess Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 Fred you fucking owl killer. Look what you've done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest theSun Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 off topic, but how illegal is it to hook up a "pirate hose" to your neighbor's faucet during odd hours of the night? it's only a little illegal like stealing a grape or running over a family of ducks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Npoess Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 "All your water are belong to us" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fred McGriff Posted July 26, 2011 Author Share Posted July 26, 2011 update: it is morning now. there are a dozen 4-foot tall mushrooms in my front yard, throbbing with fecundity, drunk on nutrients, staring wildly at me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest theSun Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 your only hope is to torch everything indiscriminately Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fred McGriff Posted July 26, 2011 Author Share Posted July 26, 2011 mmmm roasted mushrooms Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J3FF3R00 Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 Move to California. Everyone here is wasting water. You'll fit right in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fred McGriff Posted July 26, 2011 Author Share Posted July 26, 2011 fact: i actually have one of those toilets that has separate poop and pee flushes to conserve water. so the earth and i have a history together and can probably recover from this setback. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Braintree Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 You better get a big sponge and try to soak up all that shit you wasted, jerk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baph Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 fact: i actually have one of those toilets that has separate poop and pee flushes to conserve water. so the earth and i have a history together and can probably recover from this setback. The owls-- oh man, the owls! They're... they're waking up! They're ok! Oh, thank jeziz they're ok. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patternoverlap Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Salvatorin Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 fact: i actually have one of those toilets that has separate poop and pee flushes to conserve water. so the earth and i have a history together and can probably recover from this setback. so what. i bet u get confused and press the wrong button some times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fred McGriff Posted July 26, 2011 Author Share Posted July 26, 2011 only after i shit on your piss, asshole Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Velazquez Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 someone peed in my butt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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