Guest viscosity Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 so I have been to rehab recently (about 3 months ago) and met a few people there. kind of fell for a girl there who ended up being kind of a flirt/tease but that's besides the point.. either way she left a little bit before me to go back to her group home because her mom is no longer around and I believe her father is in prison.. brothers and grandparents also apparently want nothing to do with her. It's really sad.. I can tell she has serious behavioral issues (bipolar, post-trauma) but who can blame her? she's 19, looks about 12 and has a half asian daughter.. she actually prefers living in hospitals then the group home she defaults to, and does stupid things to get sent back, running away, fighting etc.. she's been in and out of them about 17 times. Anyway, I visited her recently and I just feel incredibly depressed about her situation. I have my own problems, but her situation just seems so hopeless, makes me sad as she has so many problems to get through in her life and she is still so young anyone else have relatives/friends that are in fucked up circumstances? my only hope is that she gradually matures and makes the right decisions to make her life the best she can she calls me about daily now.. I'm really not pursuing anything with her.. as a serious relationship would just not be possible, but i still feel for her Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr lopez Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chassis Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 What were you in rehab for? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest disparaissant Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 ooof i always kind of thought i was that person for my group of friends (definitely the least successful and most fucked up in the head) but im nowhere near that bad off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest abusivegeorge Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 What were you in rehab for if you don't mind me asking? Back when I was in rehab, there were 38 people in my group. 14 of them are dead, 22 of them are still using and only myself and one other remain clean. With regards to your situation, I have many friends in similar situations. There is one guy I knew (he is dead now), he was a barrister and millionaire, lived in central London. He was basically institutionalised, he couldn't keep out of mental hospitals, he'd go in, get treated, stay for 6 months, come out, do something bizzare to get put back in again. He was one of the nicest blokes I've met and he would do anything for anyone, he eventually died of a cocaine overdose. It's extremely sad, and I became close to a lot of those still using but I've realised recently that I have to take a step back, my recovery is dependent on sticking with those who want to stay well and continuing emotional attatchments with unhealthy people is a no no! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest viscosity Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 yeah i keep hearing that from my sponsor, having to keep the focus on myself for now. just some emotional attachment to this young girl. she is not in there for rehab, but for some reason due to some of the self harm I had a history of, they put me in a psych unit for detox and that's where I met her I was in it for alcohol. was prone to frequent, destructive blackouts.. but I was also a functional alcoholic and would self medicate. was basically dependent on it plus prescribed benzos i have other friends that I grew up with that got into coke and other hard drugs.. not sure if they got clean yet. its sad though, even for people who just grow up in shitty families, they're going to be in the system for almost their entire youth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jules Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 I had a good buddy and a cousin go through rehab and psych wards. my buddy just basically flipped out from prolonged acid trips and no sleep after he went to college. he has been well since then though. my cousin had a much rougher go. he was very seriously abusing oxys, Xanax and coke. the amounts he was able to take were startling to say the least. he was in and out of a few rehabs including hazelton. but once he decided he needed to do it, he has been amazing. I don't know if he got tired of fighting or realized he couldn't go on like that and I don't care because his recovery has been great. he is a central part of our family and we can't afford to lose him. he has been well for 5 or 6 years now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cazador Mod Unit Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 I met this guy in a similar situation years ago and he is the most beautiful kid I have ever met, he must have been 20 at the time and he was kind of a thug (not sure if that's the word? working class, violent, involved in gangs). Friendly like you wouldn't believe with me but unpredictable / scary to everyone else. I would have loved to get his number and do the exact same thing you are doing but now that I think of it, that is asking for serious trouble and I think you are putting yourself in danger. Totally agree with your sponsor, you need to stay away from this girl for the moment. Good to hear I'm not the only one thinking those places are lovely, I had a great time there too. I don't want to go back though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest abusivegeorge Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 yeah i keep hearing that from my sponsor, having to keep the focus on myself for now. just some emotional attachment to this young girl. she is not in there for rehab, but for some reason due to some of the self harm I had a history of, they put me in a psych unit for detox and that's where I met her I was in it for alcohol. was prone to frequent, destructive blackouts.. but I was also a functional alcoholic and would self medicate. was basically dependent on it plus prescribed benzos i have other friends that I grew up with that got into coke and other hard drugs.. not sure if they got clean yet. its sad though, even for people who just grow up in shitty families, they're going to be in the system for almost their entire youth I was put into a mental hospital (The Priory) and there were other people on the same ward who weren't in for alcohol or drug abuse, just other psycholigical problems. There was this girl who was in there for having some sort of personality disorder, she would come and sit with us in the common room to watch telly, she had long red hair and was slightly freckly, she was 30 and I really did gain some emotional attatchment to her but I knew once I left the priory I would have to let it go as it was unhealthy. There is nothing wrong with making friends though, and I don't see any harm in paying her a visit if you think you can do that without getting or feeling too involved, as she clearly isn't well, and thus may not be healthy for you mate, just my experience and opinion, which could be entirely different to yours mate. Some part of me just wanted to help her, some part of me loved her, and some part of me genuinely wondered if a relationship would ever be feasible with that person, I mean she really was a lovely and very attractive girl. One thing I have learnt though, is that close female friendships and relationships in early recovery distracted me from the programme and what I really needed to be doing, and consequently I relapsed many times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest viscosity Posted August 10, 2011 Share Posted August 10, 2011 Good to hear I'm not the only one thinking those places are lovely, I had a great time there too. I don't want to go back though. yes. I met some of the most interesting people in the psych unit. I actually felt kind of normal by their standards lol. it also forces you to just kind of relax.. which I have trouble with, I usually feel i should be doing something productive, probably has part to due with my anxiety agree with you george, as good as it is having someone, it's definitely a distraction I should probably wait on, at least for the time being Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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