Secular Folk: How do you react when someone says they'll pray for you?

[Fred McGriff]

So something happened to me today that resulted in a lot of people that I had no idea were spiritual people saying "you are in my prayers," "your family is in our prayers," "i'm praying for you," etc etc. It got me thinking, let's say you don't believe in god or prayer or faith or ghosts and things of that nature. Let's say that your beliefs are based on the limits of human knowledge and observation. How do you take such a comment? Do you think "ew, back off jesus freak," or are you genuinely flattered that someone cares for you in their own irrational way of dealing with things?

[o00o]

So something happened to me today that resulted in a lot of people that I had no idea were spiritual people saying "you are in my prayers," "your family is in our prayers," "i'm praying for you," etc etc. It got me thinking, let's say you don't believe in god or prayer or faith or ghosts and things of that nature. Let's say that your beliefs are based on the limits of human knowledge and observation. How do you take such a comment? Do you think "ew, back off jesus freak," or are you genuinely flattered that someone cares for you in their own irrational way of dealing with things?

 

its just their way to say something nice and show that they care. Just be friendly and say thanks for the gesture not for agreeing with them

[Fred McGriff]

oh i'm a jesus freak myself so if it happens to me then the conversation usually ends up being an arms race of increasingly frightening spiritual comments about divine will and the day of reckoning

[Guest Coalbucket PI]

I generally prefer religious associates to keep that stuff quiet but you can't help but appreciate the sentiment, although it makes me pity them slightly

[oyster]

I would probably say 'thank you' or 'I appreciate it'.

[essines]

My exgirlfriends family is religious and her mom still tells me that I am in her prayers. I feel very strange and awkward when I am told that I am in someones prayers. I think it might be because the people I care about the most and that mean the most to me wouldn't say that kind of thing to me. So, in that vein, it is like a stranger is telling me that I am so close to them that they connect me with one of the most important things in their life that means absolutely nothing to me. There is a huge disconnect. I am happy that they care enough about me to want to say and do this for me but it, in all reality, means nothing to me literally. It's just the idea that they care for me that i can get behind. So i don't get offended if someone i know and care about says this, but if some asshole were to say something like "heavy metal music is the devils work, i will pray for you" then i would tell them to shove their prayers up their ass or reccomend praying to god that i don't massacre their family.

 

tldr is it don't bug me, don't be preachy.

[Hautlle]

Yeah, I just thank them. It's cool, I don't believe it will do anything, but "it's the thought that counts" and if that's what they want to do with their time it's saul goodman.

[joshuatxuk]

So something happened to me today that resulted in a lot of people that I had no idea were spiritual people saying "you are in my prayers," "your family is in our prayers," "i'm praying for you," etc etc. It got me thinking, let's say you don't believe in god or prayer or faith or ghosts and things of that nature. Let's say that your beliefs are based on the limits of human knowledge and observation. How do you take such a comment? Do you think "ew, back off jesus freak," or are you genuinely flattered that someone cares for you in their own irrational way of dealing with things?

 

its just their way to say something nice and show that they care. Just be friendly and say thanks for the gesture not for agreeing with them

I would probably say 'thank you' or 'I appreciate it'.

 

^this

 

My exgirlfriends family is religious and her mom still tells me that I am in her prayers. I feel very strange and awkward when I am told that I am in someones prayers. I think it might be because the people I care about the most and that mean the most to me wouldn't say that kind of thing to me.

 

Yeah...I've heard that from some close members of my family and you just kind of go with it. There are a lot of very religious people who go to faith because of personal tragedy and strife (death, social and political oppression, etc) and I can't criticize that, I respect it. I think a lot of people aren't religious simply because they don't need to be.

 

Now as soon as people start judging you, and the "I'll pray for you" is condescending (most evangelicals are like that for example) that's when you can start questioning it. If it's a stranger, tell them that's that not their place as devotees. Personally I'm hold vague, post-theist beliefs (I'm beyond being an agnostic I guess) and think that prayer as a literal concept is absolutely ridiculous. Praying should be a goodwill gesture or meditation, not a fucking request.

 

I've always respected Hitchens and thought he broke it down quite well:

 

 

The way the English-born Hitchens sees it, the people praying for him break down into three basic groups: those who seem genuinely glad he's suffering and dying from cancer; those who want him to become a believer in their religious faith; and those who are asking God to heal him.

 

Hitchens has no use for that first group. "'To hell with you' is the response to the ones who pray for me to go to hell," Hitchens told AP.

 

He's ruling out the idea of a deathbed change of heart: "'Thanks but no thanks' is the reply to those who want me to convert and recognize a divinity or deity."

 

It's that third group -- people who are asking God for Hitchens' healing -- that causes Hitchens to choose his words even more carefully than normal. Are those prayers OK? Are they helpful?

 

"I say it's fine by me, I think of it as a nice gesture. And it may well make them feel better, which is a good thing in itself," says Hitchens.

 

But prayers for his healing don't make him feel better.

 

"Well, not any more than very large numbers of very kind, thoughtful letters from nonbelievers, some of whom know me, some of whom don't, asking me to know that they are on my side," Hitchens said. "That cheers me up, yes."

[Root5]

I think the only person who prays for me is my mom.

[murve33]

I say thank you, and appreciate it, but it's still awkward.

[Guest]

I say thank you, and appreciate it, but it's still awkward.

Yeah, pretty much. It doesn't offend me, but it's kind of alienating, even though the thought behind it is nice.

[Braintree]

I'm praying for each one of you heathens.

 

 

 

[Guest underscore]

like any decent pagan, I sodomize them right then and there

[kaini]

i'm glad to hear it. i don't believe in god, but it means they're thinking of you, and that's always nice.

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secular_humanism

[Squee]

I avoid religious people so that never happens to me.

[chenGOD]

i tend to masturbate in front of them while they pray.

[Guest disparaissant]

my partner is christian in a vague sort of way and says she's praying for me occasionally. it started off weirding me out but it's just her way of showing she cares so w/e. also she will make jokes about it, like im moving back in with my mormon parents for a few months and she was like "i just want you to know that i will be praying for you. to the REAL, NONMORMON GOD. tell your folks." but yeah with her it doesnt bother me at all, it's just a roundabout way of saying "good luck"

 

my parents, on the other hand, will say they are praying for me, and it creeps me out. because i know they are praying for weird shit like that i'll become a mormon again and go straight or something. that's ooky.

[kaini]

reddit's r/atheism is a cesspool of self-righteous little sub-dawkins fucks who give the rest of us heathens a bad name.

just throwin that out there.

[chenGOD]

my partner is christian in a vague sort of way and says she's praying for me occasionally. it started off weirding me out but it's just her way of showing she cares so w/e. also she will make jokes about it, like im moving back in with my mormon parents for a few months and she was like "i just want you to know that i will be praying for you. to the REAL, NONMORMON GOD. tell your folks." but yeah with her it doesnt bother me at all, it's just a roundabout way of saying "good luck"

 

my parents, on the other hand, will say they are praying for me, and it creeps me out. because i know they are praying for weird shit like that i'll become a mormon again and go straight or something. that's ooky.

 

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100827011051AA7jmkH

[Redruth]

i'll pee for u

[Braintree]

Praying is sexy.

[kaini]

http://answers.yahoo...27011051AA7jmkH

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35TbGjt-weA

[Guest disparaissant]

http://answers.yahoo...27011051AA7jmkH

wow that first answer is hilarious. most roundabout way of saying "you just need a good dicking" ever.

[chenGOD]

http://answers.yahoo...27011051AA7jmkH

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35TbGjt-weA

Best answer:

Ask Jesus to give you the strength to resist your NATURAL urge for muff diving and dildo strapping. It ain't gonna be easy, but hey, striving for a personal relationship with a long-dead guru is certainly a very rational act. It is the cure for the disease of homosexuality. Any born-again Christian pastor can teach you how to pray to become "normal" for a fee

[encey]

It's usually clear when people mean "I'll pray for you" in a spiritually patronizing or condescending way.

 

When they mean it sincerely, I take it to be a powerful expression. Because in these kinds of cases (there are many other reasons for praying, of course), people are praying about something they cannot do anything about, physically or causally speaking. So I see their acts of prayer as a way of facing up to something about life and the world that we just cannot make sense of, that is overwhelming, alienating, terrifying or affectively deadening -- when someone dies or goes into surgery, when a baby is being delivered, when people are caught in the throes or aftermath of a natural disaster. When they pray, they acknowledge the kind of situation you are facing, with all its uncertainties and anxieties, with the utterly decisive stakes of its outcome. And I take it they are offering their constant thoughts of you and wishes for your well-being as a source of psychological strength and stability to draw upon, in circumstances where your own strength may be totally sapped.

 

I am neither Atheist nor theistic, so this is my way of translating the immense personal force of "I'll pray for you" into more neutral -- but not neutralized -- language.