Secular Folk: How do you react when someone says they'll pray for you?

[Zephyr_Nova]

I think a lot of people aren't religious simply because they don't need to be.

 

I know one guy whose religious doubts started when one of his family members got terminally ill, and then after they finally passed away he stopped believing altogether. I think it was kind of an angry parting, like "god, if you're there, stop it with the horrible suffering to all these people who don't deserve it. Ah screw it, you're clearly not there." The rest of his family is extremely religious, and occasionally "good bless" me. It always makes me feel strange, but it's nice that they clearly really like me. I usually respond with a smile and a nod, maybe an awkward "cheers." So yeah, I don't really have a non-awkward response down yet.

[chaosmachine]

"well, you know what they say... two hands in action can accomplish more than 1000 hands in prayer."

 

of course, it depends on what the problem is, but generally there's a lot more useful things someone could spend their time on.

[Fred McGriff]

well, you know what they say: "Well you know what they say..."

[chaosmachine]

shh, they might be listening.

[Guest viscosity]

i have no power at my house but found the library at college. i'm kind of in conflict with the whole higher power thing of aa. its like.. a higher power in your own conception. well i have no idea what there is before the big bang.. what spark caused it, so i consider myself agnostic. whatever though, as long as i can find other people with issues that somewhat parallel mine, it's ok

 

sponser tries to have me pray, but i don't understand it and it just agrivates me.. for instance, why am i supposed to pray for someone who pisses me off? i'm all good with people and can accept the douchebags of humanity, but really.. i just can't wrap my head around it

[Guest couch]

I just say thanks and move on to the next topic or whatever as long as they aren't saying it in a way to spite me for not being like them.

[goDel]

People normally recognize me as some kind of anti-christ. So whenever they tell me they pray for me, I tend to see it as encouragement. Gotta love those anti-religious prayers!

[GORDO]

whenever someone tells my mom something like "god bless you" she responds "i don't believe in god" in a loud, harsh tone.

[rixxx]

So something happened to me today that resulted in a lot of people that I had no idea were spiritual people saying "you are in my prayers," "your family is in our prayers," "i'm praying for you," etc etc. It got me thinking, let's say you don't believe in god or prayer or faith or ghosts and things of that nature. Let's say that your beliefs are based on the limits of human knowledge and observation. How do you take such a comment? Do you think "ew, back off jesus freak," or are you genuinely flattered that someone cares for you in their own irrational way of dealing with things?

 

 

I smash them in the face with a brick, shouting "WHERE'S YOUR GOD NOW".

[Guest A/D]

It's usually clear when people mean "I'll pray for you" in a spiritually patronizing or condescending way.

 

When they mean it sincerely, I take it to be a powerful expression. Because in these kinds of cases (there are many other reasons for praying, of course), people are praying about something they cannot do anything about, physically or causally speaking. So I see their acts of prayer as a way of facing up to something about life and the world that we just cannot make sense of, that is overwhelming, alienating, terrifying or affectively deadening -- when someone dies or goes into surgery, when a baby is being delivered, when people are caught in the throes or aftermath of a natural disaster. When they pray, they acknowledge the kind of situation you are facing, with all its uncertainties and anxieties, with the utterly decisive stakes of its outcome. And I take it they are offering their constant thoughts of you and wishes for your well-being as a source of psychological strength and stability to draw upon, in circumstances where your own strength may be totally sapped.

 

I am neither Atheist nor theistic, so this is my way of translating the immense personal force of "I'll pray for you" into more neutral -- but not neutralized -- language.

 

I think you are the one person I know of who studied philosophy, and can talk about important things in a way that is not insane and/or obtuse. I salute you sir.

 

(roundabout way of saying "agree basically yeah")

[jules]

i hope everything is ok with your family fred.

 

that being said, if someone is telling me that, i would assume the situation would dictate that i would be so worried about something else that i wouldn't care that someone is bringing that up to me.

[Guest viscosity]

if i rationalize it as "good luck" for my more secular outlook, then i have no qualms with it and can view it as a gesture of care/concern

[rixxx]

Seriously though, I'd rather they actually did something that helped. Praying isn't going to help, if they really do mean they care they'd offer real support.

[funkaholic]

Seriously though, I'd rather they actually did something that helped. Praying isn't going to help, if they really do mean they care they'd offer real support.

 

but maybe to them that is real support. i'd probably just say thanks. some part of me secretly hoping it it works but ultimately knowing it will make no difference.

[QBLA]

reddit's r/atheism is a cesspool of self-righteous little sub-dawkins fucks who give the rest of us heathens a bad name.

just throwin that out there.

 

I have a friend who claims he's athiest. He posted something on FB recently when one of his dogs was about to be put down. a lot of people responded by saying the "My Thoughts and Prayers are with you" comment , and he responded by saying "I don't need your prayers... have me in your thoughts is good enough!" Something like that. Me and a couple of other friends let him have it telling him that they are sincere and showing that they care and you snap back with a bitch ass remark like that! He deleted the comment. I don't care about his friends at all... just thought it was pretty rude of him to respond that way to them.

[rixxx]

Seriously though, I'd rather they actually did something that helped. Praying isn't going to help, if they really do mean they care they'd offer real support.

 

but maybe to them that is real support. i'd probably just say thanks. some part of me secretly hoping it it works but ultimately knowing it will make no difference.

 

 

then I'd smash them in the face with a brick.

 

reddit's r/atheism is a cesspool of self-righteous little sub-dawkins fucks who give the rest of us heathens a bad name.

just throwin that out there.

 

I have a friend who claims he's athiest. He posted something on FB recently when one of his dogs was about to be put down. a lot of people responded by saying the "My Thoughts and Prayers are with you" comment , and he responded by saying "I don't need your prayers... have me in your thoughts is good enough!" Something like that. Me and a couple of other friends let him have it telling him that they are sincere and showing that they care and you snap back with a bitch ass remark like that! He deleted the comment. I don't care about his friends at all... just thought it was pretty rude of him to respond that way to them.

 

 

I don't think that's rude, he was polite. Why shouldn't he be open about his beliefs when they are open about theirs?!

[Guest boo]

a while ago a girl said goodbye and god bless, and i laughed. i later noticed she had a ornate cross tattoo on her back, so she was probably being serious.

 

i'm apatheist or whatever so i don't care

[Guest viscosity]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdvWZLLQWyM

[QBLA]

Seriously though, I'd rather they actually did something that helped. Praying isn't going to help, if they really do mean they care they'd offer real support.

 

but maybe to them that is real support. i'd probably just say thanks. some part of me secretly hoping it it works but ultimately knowing it will make no difference.

 

 

then I'd smash them in the face with a brick.

 

reddit's r/atheism is a cesspool of self-righteous little sub-dawkins fucks who give the rest of us heathens a bad name.

just throwin that out there.

 

I have a friend who claims he's athiest. He posted something on FB recently when one of his dogs was about to be put down. a lot of people responded by saying the "My Thoughts and Prayers are with you" comment , and he responded by saying "I don't need your prayers... have me in your thoughts is good enough!" Something like that. Me and a couple of other friends let him have it telling him that they are sincere and showing that they care and you snap back with a bitch ass remark like that! He deleted the comment. I don't care about his friends at all... just thought it was pretty rude of him to respond that way to them.

 

 

I don't think that's rude, he was polite. Why shouldn't he be open about his beliefs when they are open about theirs?!

 

a simple "my prayers are with you" is not them being open about their beliefs... If they follow it up with a "have faith in god" or other type of religious phrases, then perhaps so. I've known this guy for over 20 years and he's always been rude and inconsiderate of others be it religion, politics, lifestyle, music, and even over something simple like food. Don't wear open toed shoes around this guy because he'll come down on you with his hatred of such shoes... I and some other friends have stopped him on many occasions. A couple of those times we had to talk other people into not kicking his ass.

 

he actually got pepper sprayed by a girl at a party once because the girl thought he was stalking him at the party... which was probably true!

[rixxx]

He was upset, he doesn't need someone saying that to him.

[QBLA]

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[Guest couch]

reddit's r/atheism is a cesspool of self-righteous little sub-dawkins fucks who give the rest of us heathens a bad name.

just throwin that out there.

 

I have a friend who claims he's athiest. He posted something on FB recently when one of his dogs was about to be put down. a lot of people responded by saying the "My Thoughts and Prayers are with you" comment , and he responded by saying "I don't need your prayers... have me in your thoughts is good enough!" Something like that. Me and a couple of other friends let him have it telling him that they are sincere and showing that they care and you snap back with a bitch ass remark like that! He deleted the comment. I don't care about his friends at all... just thought it was pretty rude of him to respond that way to them.

 

Funny, I've seen it the other way around where an atheist friend said something along the lines of "I'll keep you in my thoughts" or something. It was a wall post for somebody else going through some bad stuff. The reply from the person was "thanks but no thanks, I don't want your concern unless it's with prayers" or something snarky. That post got liked a bunch of times too. People are assholes. Meh.

[impakt]

I say "heh" and try to end the conversation.

[QBLA]

reddit's r/atheism is a cesspool of self-righteous little sub-dawkins fucks who give the rest of us heathens a bad name.

just throwin that out there.

 

I have a friend who claims he's athiest. He posted something on FB recently when one of his dogs was about to be put down. a lot of people responded by saying the "My Thoughts and Prayers are with you" comment , and he responded by saying "I don't need your prayers... have me in your thoughts is good enough!" Something like that. Me and a couple of other friends let him have it telling him that they are sincere and showing that they care and you snap back with a bitch ass remark like that! He deleted the comment. I don't care about his friends at all... just thought it was pretty rude of him to respond that way to them.

 

Funny, I've seen it the other way around where an atheist friend said something along the lines of "I'll keep you in my thoughts" or something. It was a wall post for somebody else going through some bad stuff. The reply from the person was "thanks but no thanks, I don't want your concern unless it's with prayers" or something snarky. That post got liked a bunch of times too. People are assholes. Meh.

 

Woah! I will say that that made my friend sound like a saint!

[MAXIMUS MISCHIEF]

ill pray for you