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Dear Aphex Twin, I am drunk as a lord...

beerwolf

By beerwolf
in Aphex Twin

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beerwolf Grand Master

beerwolf

Posted
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Please Mr Richard Lord of Cornwallus

 

Release some new music, as your dear fans who really, really love you need some proper Aphex. Sweet Jesus, your Metz and Manchester tracks prove you still wipe the fucking floor with anybody else parading around as musicians. I aint joking fella. you and your label mates, still are numero uno. Autechre are dons, BoC? Are obviously doing some weird shit in the mountain in league with Devil and sacraficing sheep....

 

Can't you and Squarepusher release that bloody Rome track from your sonic cauldrons? Why keep it back?

 

Ahhh... fuck it....I am drunk....and wasting my fucking time. I hope you are over your moon. Congrats, you win....

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Cryptowen Grand Master

Cryptowen

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You guys making drunken pleas to Aphex/BoC for new material need to get a new angle. Threads on IDM forums are played out. What you need to do is get surgery to look exactly like Aphex Twin (just go to the same people who did Niccage in Face/Off), except 30 years older. Then find out where he lives. Then burst into his bedroom at 3AM wearing a robot ghost costume proclaiming yourself to be The Aphex Twin of the year 4000. Warn him that if he doesn't put out an album soon, his drum playing machine will somehow develop sentience & wreck people's shit. Or something I dunno I'm a ghost

 

This plan will work

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sheatheman Grand Master

sheatheman

Posted
Posted

You guys making drunken pleas to Aphex/BoC for new material need to get a new angle. Threads on IDM forums are played out. What you need to do is get surgery to look exactly like Aphex Twin (just go to the same people who did Niccage in Face/Off), except 30 years older. Then find out where he lives. Then burst into his bedroom at 3AM wearing a robot ghost costume proclaiming yourself to be The Aphex Twin of the year 4000. Warn him that if he doesn't put out an album soon, his drum playing machine will somehow develop sentience & wreck people's shit. Or something I dunno I'm a ghost

 

This plan will work

 

this is the best idea. even if they didn't believe you it would still form a life long friendship through which mr prichard would teach you all of his production secrets.

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l1fef0rm Community Regular

l1fef0rm

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I'm not pleading for shit. I'm quite content with the state of all things entertainment.

 

There is and always be good things happening, no matter what the names behind them. You just have to see through the shit.

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l1fef0rm Community Regular

l1fef0rm

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We all want music from the people we loved growing up...the fact is we are growing up as well. Some artists just want to do what they want to do. I can't blame them. If i never hear another Aphex album or BOC(which i must state, they are good but i really don't understand the Boards idolatry going on here) i will be just fine, because i love new artists just as much or more as the old ones. The fact is, as i get older i just give a fuck just a little less. Don't get me wrong, its always about quality and enjoyment, i just give less a shit about the name behind it. Its good as long as its great, that's all that matters any more. sorry about the grammar/punctuation and such i just don't care so much.

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l1fef0rm Community Regular

l1fef0rm

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Quality shmality, i'm going to watch another shitty episode of TerraNova, a show i hate so much but still watch...i think its the dinosaurs...oh well i'm still drunk, seems to make terrible shit better. damn you Storm King!

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Guest Kenneth172

Guest Kenneth172

Posted
Posted

Please Mr Richard Lord of Cornwallus

 

Release some new music, as your dear fans who really, really love you need some proper Aphex. Sweet Jesus, your Metz and Manchester tracks prove you still wipe the fucking floor with anybody else parading around as musicians. I aint joking fella. you and your label mates, still are numero uno. Autechre are dons, BoC? Are obviously doing some weird shit in the mountain in league with Devil and sacraficing sheep....

 

Can't you and Squarepusher release that bloody Rome track from your sonic cauldrons? Why keep it back?

 

Ahhh... fuck it....I am drunk....and wasting my fucking time. I hope you are over your moon. Congrats, you win....

 

 

 

True, we would all like Aphex to release something new, but a plea like this is probably going to add a few more years on to the release date as no doubt he's getting a kick out of making his fans wait so fcuking long.

 

To be fair though there's loads of great music out there that's setting a much higher precedent when he does finally release something. The longer he leaves it, the higher the expectations will be. And by the time he does release the Metz stuff and other unreleased tracks we've already listened to em loads on YouTube and the like. He'll never release owt!

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Herr Jan Grand Master

Herr Jan

Posted
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Grant just posted this:

 

soon-to-be releases to cue in your playlist:

dave monolith 'welcome' cd

jodey kendrick 'plus ten' (part 2) 2cd

aleksi perälä 'mental union' (part 2) 2cd

steinvord 12" EP

+ 'another'

all on rephlex records of course www.rephlex.com

more for 2012...

 

 

'another' being AFX? Certainly hope so.

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Tessier Ashpool Experienced

Tessier Ashpool

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My theory is this:

 

Aphex Twin is actually Dr. Dre and the long awaited "Detox" is actually the combination sequel to both "The Chronic 2001" (why was it called "2001" when it was released in 99'? Because it was a "hint" about the unpronounceable masterpiece to follow in 2001) and "Drukqs." It will meld Dre/James' mastery of hip-hop beats/production/aural euphoria into a perfect blend of head-nod genius, interspersed with several "noise" tracks using samples of Snoop Dogg getting head and Bjork crying over the lameness of her last four albums. "Ghost" Nate Dogg will provide the vocals, Tupac will come out of "retirement" to provide the raps, and the entire album will come packaged with the 3 feature films from Chris Cunningham has been working on since falling off the face of the fucking earth back in 2002.

 

You need more proof?:

 

Both Dr. Dre and Aphex Twin have never been seen together in the same place, at the same time

Dr. Dre and Aphex Twin make the anagram: "Warp Did Her Next"

Both Dr. Dre and Aphex Twin have ingested massive amounts of bong smoke, and their music is best experienced if you do the same.

Richard "D" James? More like Richard "DRE" James

 

The evidence is UNDENIABLE.

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ganus Veteran

ganus

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My theory is this:

 

Aphex Twin is actually Dr. Dre

Why is RDJ's headphone brand so bad?

 

wait

wait

vy2pD.png

"As I get older I'll have to put more treble in my tracks because you lose top end as you go deaf. In ten years time there'll be just loads of treble in my tracks."

 

maybe

just maybe

his solution for young people with fresh ears, is marketing Beats to them, so that they can hear Drukqs (which was surely mastered with RDJ's terrible, bass heavy hearing) in the proper frequency range

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