I've been thinking about considering a career as a Stand Up Comedian

[kinski]

just swear and yell a lot, it worked for bill hicks.

[Guest Rambo]

i think a good one if you are ever bombing really badly is to say "sure is a lot of pussy in here" and then thrust your hips back and forwards a few times and then laugh.

[Guest dese manz hatin]

my favourite stand up comedian, you should definitely think about dropping the political correctness m8 do it for your own good

 

[baph]

just swear and yell a lot, it worked for bill hicks.

 

Just steal Bill's act, it worked for Denis Leary.

[sneaksta303]

How do you get a dog to stop licking its balls?

 

 

Suck its dick.

 

 

rolf

[kaini]

How do you get a dog to stop licking its balls?

 

 

Suck its dick.

 

 

rolf

 

 

[Meadows and Labyrinths]

"i just flew in from Denver, and boy are my arms tired. see, i was strangling the pilot, but he was pretty tough."

[Boxus]

you're thinking about considering something. stop fuckin thinking and consider it already.

[kaini]

think about this first;

could you post something in this thread and elicit multiple lols?

if not, you probably should not

personally i do not find you very funny.

[essines]

i've been rolfing since i joined.

nobody noticed :(

[baph]

I too have rolled on linoleum floors.

:rolfs out:

 

[essines]

always and forever

 

[Guest underscore]

 

personally i do not find you very funny.

 

drunklol

[oyster]

personally i do not find you very funny.

 

Well, I find you ugly.

[oyster]

-

 

Also,

 

could you post something in this thread and elicit multiple lols?

if not, you probably should not

 

I disagree with you here. Trying to be funny here and trying to be funny in a Stand Up Comedy environment are two very different things. First of all, as we all know, most of communication is non-verbal. Posting on an Internet Message Board is a very dry, stripped, empty, hollow, even sad version of human communication. It is definitely not six and one half dozen of another. Also, here we must take into account that I am already a very despised and disrespected member of the community. In front of an audience of strangers, this would not factor into the equation.

[oyster]

Also, For better or For worse, I can't honestly say that I make too strong of an effort to put my best foot forward here on WATMM. Don't get me wrong, I think thus is a really fantastic place with a lot of really great people and a lot of really interesting ideas and concepts and conversations shooting back and forth ( not to say that there isn't the occasional 'bad apple' so to speak, or the occasional displays of groupthink which I find distasteful, sometimes all the banning seems a bit much, especially since it often seems due to something rather petty, but enough on that ) like I was saying I do enjoy this website and its pros definitely outweigh its cons in my opinion, but if I was attempting Stand Up Comedy in a somewhat proffesional environment I would be making a strong effort to deliver clever, entertaining, stimulating, and most importantly and obviously, humerous writing and delivery. I think the best idea in this thread was the idea put forth that I simply record myself doing some sample attempts of what I might want to try and do , and get a reaction that way. What you wrote, Kaini, about 'lols' and whether or not I cause them for you and others here on WATMM is not only (in my opinion) beside the point , but also just demonstrates to me what an ignorant asshole chickenfucking shit eater you really are.

[oyster]

I'm actually sorry about that last part, Kaini, believe it or not I'm a very emotional person and sometimes those emotions get the better of me. I don't think that about you, but then again

I don't actually really know you, do I, Kaini? No, I don't. But that's really kind of the point, isn't it? Because you don't actually really know me either, do you Kaini? So for you to come into this thread and just try to belittle me as a person, for you to just come into this thread and try to squash my dreams like that? Well sir, I don't know how they do things in Ireland, but in the United States Of America? We don't treat people like that.

[baph]

Unless you're a commie fag atheist Muslim.

 

In this thread I learned that writing is a very dry, stripped, empty, hollow, even sad version of human communication

[MAXIMUS MISCHIEF]

think about this first;

could you post something in this thread and elicit multiple lols?

if not, you probably should not

personally i do not find you very funny.

 

kaini stop being a bully

[oyster]

 

 

In this thread I learned that writing is a very dry, stripped, empty, hollow, even sad version of human communication

 

You may be right to call me out on that statement, Baph. I do appreciate your input and the fact that you read my posts and didn't just write 'TL;DR' like a lot of intellectually lazy Internet users would probably do when confronted with such In-Depth and thoughtful / thought-provoking postings on an Internet Message Board. Perhaps I was wrong to so trivialize posting on a forum, for as you so cleverly drew my/our attention to, it's theoretically no different from other forms of written communication such as letter writing. However, you must admit that much of the 'writing' done on Internet Message Boards such as this one ( WATMM ) presents a fairly bastardized ( interesting side note, when I was in middle school or 'junior high' I knew a boy named Casey who always used the word bastard is an insult. He was the only person I've known in my life to use this insult regularly in everyday life without any amount of irony. I actually knew the boy in High School as well, but he had ceased to use this peculiar attack at this phase of his life) version of the English language, what with all the 'lol's and 'omg's and 'wtf's. However, I still find this all rather beside the point. All argumentation on the credibility of communication through Internet Message Boards such as WATMM aside, the fact remains that my communications here are not nor have they ever been attempts on my part to produce high quality , clever, stimulating, entertaining, and hilarious material. Also, my argument on the nature of Stand Up Comedy involving a lot more than just writing remains standing, strong and logical ,and most important , truthful as ever, as Stand Up Comedy clearly, obviously, and unarguably involves so much more than that.

[oyster]

I only edited the post because I accidentally wrOte the word 'lice' instead of 'life'.

[Dan C]

When are you going to tell a joke?

[ghOsty]

I'd considered it for a long time, so I tried out a couple bits at some open mic nights on campus last year, got some pretty good laughs. Even if you know your bit really well it's different once you get up on stage, and it can be pretty nervewracking especially in front of larger audiences. But if you can keep your cool even through nervousness it helps a fuckton, especially if you don't show it (that takes work someetimes). The important thing is to not take it too personally when something does bomb, take it as really harsh, but constructive criticism. Go back and refine the one that bombed, or take a look at it again, and maybe realize perhaps it just isn't funny. Stand up is absolutely an art, and I've come to respect the comedians who do it well after giving it a try myself. I hope to keep improving my own over time. Another thing I figured out that sometimes there is a big difference between what seems funny to you, and what will be humorous to others, outside your group of close peers.

 

That said, go for it dude, and just keep confident.

[BCM]

this new ipb app fucking sucks

[tontonz1]

#basedPod

 

ya heard it here first