beerwolf Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 (edited) Goat Skull Clan Arise!!! Tonight we descend upon the forest lair of The Great Gunu. Beware brothers! His hollow down by the bearded oak tree may seem inviting with oily scents wafting from trinkets of ripened elixer, a warm crackle of the campfire and the sweet smelling moss that squelches underfoot. But his magical warren is guarded by Jurgen and Heinz, deadly henchman of half wolf and half man. Only once we have slain these foul beasts and hewn the heads from their necks can we safely suckle on the teats of The Great Gunu and powers bestowed upon us will alow the Goat Skull Clan too fuck every creature in the forests bigger than a hedgehog without remorse!!!! Edited March 9, 2012 by beerwolf Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lindrum Larry Cocopipe Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 lol drugs.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beerwolf Posted March 9, 2012 Author Share Posted March 9, 2012 Stone cold sober mate, anyway back to the thread... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ivan Ooze Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 I kill motherfuckers everyday let these hordes of dead fucks unite To mutilate the human species, I take pride in killing nothing will ever stop me from fucking murdering upheaving these human stockpiles of brown sediment extremely aroused by the sight of fucking pain masturbating feverishly to the rhythm of their prayers cumming on their infected bed sores rectally bleeding I sodomize the elderly spewing rapidly a bed pan bon-appetite despoiling, despoilment raping these elderly pieces of shit while slobbering sewage how sweet it is toothless and sick swallowing cum my blistering pecker seeps Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kanakori Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 edrxfd Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lindrum Larry Cocopipe Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Stone cold sober mate, anyway back to the thread... that's a little worrying Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
triachus Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Lately, people who walk dogs have to take a plastic bag with them. Because when the dog defecates, they have to pick up the feces with the bag, or else they have to pay a fine. They put the hand in a bag first, like a glove, and then they pick it up, turn it inside out, to keep their hand clean. It also keeps streets clean. I bet it feels warm. But I dont think I can ever get used to the sight of people carrying such transparant shit-filled bag around. I once saw a guy swinging such bag nonchalantly around, like they kinda did with walking canes in the 20's. Or old ladies who pick it up and put the crapbag right back into their purse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragon Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 I kill motherfuckers everyday let these hordes of dead fucks unite To mutilate the human species, I take pride in killing nothing will ever stop me from fucking murdering upheaving these human stockpiles of brown sediment extremely aroused by the sight of fucking pain masturbating feverishly to the rhythm of their prayers cumming on their infected bed sores rectally bleeding I sodomize the elderly spewing rapidly a bed pan bon-appetite despoiling, despoilment raping these elderly pieces of shit while slobbering sewage how sweet it is toothless and sick swallowing cum my blistering pecker seeps Stone cold sober mate, anyway back to the thread... that's a little worrying Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lindrum Larry Cocopipe Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Lately, people who walk dogs have to take a plastic bag with them. Because when the dog defecates, they have to pick up the feces with the bag, or else they have to pay a fine. They put the hand in a bag first, like a glove, and then they pick it up, turn it inside out, to keep their hand clean. It also keeps streets clean. I bet it feels warm. But I dont think I can ever get used to the sight of people carrying such transparant shit-filled bag around. I once saw a guy swinging such bag nonchalantly around, like they kinda did with walking canes in the 20's. Or old ladies who pick it up and put the crapbag right back into their purse. lol this made me picture gene kelly swinging a bag of shit around in the rain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meadows and Labyrinths Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 APPLE HORNET WAX FIGHT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Friendly Foil Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 we are the goat people of the north and we like lemon juice on our cereal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spratters Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 So it is time for the coming of maybe another day. What, tomorrow??? No such thing I hear you say. Well you are right as there isn't a thing which is tomorrow any more as you've already talked about it and now it's the past's doings. When you get there I will meet you in the place in your head where you think only you go. No buses in this life and time doesn't wait for you so hop on. Hop I said, NOT JUMP. Jumping is overrated and the ground is still here being upon the mantle which we reside which, as an estimate, will cost just under £5k to get above this into the black abyss upon thick string sold in 4 metre lengths. Anyway, too much depth is been given previously in the time you have wasted in concocting your money saving ideas for world domination. The paper wields the truth to which we need to think, not reside upon. Righteous thinking among small men who watch 30 minute videos and think they know all will herd us into this black hole of which we all for one seek. We will get there my brothers. Speak soon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweepstakes Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 (edited) Each summer, the port of entry of the isolated planet hummed with a diffusion of vacationers arriving. Opulent families, mostly grumpy alcoholics and their spoiled children, deboarded the luxury crafts. The fluorescent port and starboard beacons of the luxury ships pulsated lackadaisically as overpaid tourists passive-aggressively ordered around us bellhops. Yet, this was the best summer job I'd ever had. On breaks I watched the remnants of solar winds rippling across the surface of the placid sea, stoking the marine flora's effervescent tendrils. The birdlike native mammals soared above the clouds, perpetually out of reach. I never did figure out what they subsisted on. Edited March 9, 2012 by sweepstakes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
logakght Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Adjective Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Twinkling breeze soaks a thread, inching puddle reflecting no birds, possesses his sole. Chirp and squeek, posts blindly a-bump and stumble, tracing and trailing, winding, away. The butt has been peed, the OP relieved. The banded jazz does play. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
logakght Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 bersarin quartet starts to rap to okteber mothafuka yea caterpilla ina baathroom add some spice PITCH BENDS yea yea yea lush those chords, bath yourself in the chord cascade yo yo yo o tim hecakj hecka florian and tim hecker are lovers!!!! yo oy oy yoyoyoyoyooyoyoyoyoyooy lustmord is my veterinarian doc, yo, ye ye ye ye ye y ey ey yey aeyuaw euya ew skrillax to rule thwe world with that autistic green eyed girl!!!3wfD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hugh Mughnus Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 I kill motherfuckers everyday let these hordes of dead fucks unite To mutilate the human species, I take pride in killing nothing will ever stop me from fucking murdering upheaving these human stockpiles of brown sediment extremely aroused by the sight of fucking pain masturbating feverishly to the rhythm of their prayers cumming on their infected bed sores rectally bleeding I sodomize the elderly spewing rapidly a bed pan bon-appetite despoiling, despoilment raping these elderly pieces of shit while slobbering sewage how sweet it is toothless and sick swallowing cum my blistering pecker seeps The only way that would have been better is if the words "murky" and "discharge" were in there. Preferably together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
schlucharski Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 I am surprised by how often I get involved in conversations about microwaves. I get asked about my microwave, I don't own one, ppl don't believe me. Dad asked if my microwave has grill function, I said I don't have a microwave. He looked at me, as if I was an complete idiot. You do, he said, I've seen one, last time I was in your kitchen. Sorry there was no microwave, please believe me. Mom asked, same result, even the janitor of my building asked, disbelieve from everyone. guy has no microwave, can't believe it. Do you want one ? NO! I have one spare, really, no problem, NO ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest moonchild Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Pour the stars into my eyes, an act of mercy. The pull of your heart and the subtleties of fate. I was yours throughout time And never claimed your hand. My pride fighting your will The end of us and the end of tide I'll steal your breath if I must, but why would you make me a thief? claim me and I'm yours... a sighing swan song of ferns and shadows The pools here are deeper still Then even you could dream. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ivan Ooze Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 (edited) bersarin quartet starts to rap to okteber mothafuka yea caterpilla ina baathroom add some spice PITCH BENDS yea yea yea lush those chords, bath yourself in the chord cascade yo yo yo o tim hecakj hecka florian and tim hecker are lovers!!!! yo oy oy yoyoyoyoyooyoyoyoyoyooy lustmord is my veterinarian doc, yo, ye ye ye ye ye y ey ey yey aeyuaw euya ew skrillax to rule thwe world with that autistic green eyed girl!!!3wfD lol that sums up my day Edited March 9, 2012 by Ivan Ooze Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Deep Fried Everything Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 what if i don't have anything to say? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hugh Mughnus Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 bersarin quartet starts to rap to okteber mothafuka yea caterpilla ina baathroom add some spice PITCH BENDS yea yea yea lush those chords, bath yourself in the chord cascade yo yo yo o tim hecakj hecka florian and tim hecker are lovers!!!! yo oy oy yoyoyoyoyooyoyoyoyoyooy lustmord is my veterinarian doc, yo, ye ye ye ye ye y ey ey yey aeyuaw euya ew skrillax to rule thwe world with that autistic green eyed girl!!!3wfD are lustmord and steinvord related? what if i don't have anything to say? you just said something. Even though it was a preposition, it was still something. =) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meadows and Labyrinths Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 DEEP FRIED TOAST FARTS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YO303 Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Romething Sandom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweepstakes Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Luke awoke on the beach and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. Overnight the kelp must have crept close to the shore. An unseasonably chilly breeze fluttered in the morning air. His belly complained and he realized he hadn't eaten since noon the day before. Donning a warmer shirt and his cap, he ventured to the shop a few miles downshore to find something to appease his empty stomach. When he arrived, the shop was strangely dark and the owner had apparently acquired a bizarre display that scrolled perpetually in one direction. Also the gravity in the store had somehow rotated 90 degrees. Luke thought little of it, his mind focused on sustenance. To his immediate right was a large display of tantalizing citrus. Leaning, Luke reached over the display to grasp the most delicious fruit. He walked to the checkout line. The cashier's smile was so strained it was painful to look at. "That will be $4.37!" Luke was taken aback. He blinked reflexively, quickly weighing the situation. Burdened by his hunger, he was hardly in a position to quibble about such trivialities as markup on produce. He rifling through his pockets for the correct coinage, and made the exchange. As Luke neared the exit of the shop, he noticed that his mule, Copernicus, had wandered to the shop. Luke mounted the mule and suddenly became an infant. On his ride back to his cabin, Luke saw unfamiliar people. A young girl danced in a frilly dress while a very small jumping symphony conductor waved his wand. Two stern looking men glared at Luke, frightening him. Luke finally arrived at his cabin. Feeling playful, Luke decided to make a meal out of the citrus he purchased. He prepared a variety of condiments and beverages and dishes for a full 4-course meal. As he ate the citrus, his joy transformed him into an orangutan. He was just finishing the last few morsels of delicious fruit when a strange sensation came from his lip. He looked down and was horrified to see a bizarre insect. Luke's meal was ruined! He fled to the bushes behind the cabin and vomited violently. After this look was exhausted. He went back to the cabin and fell asleep on the bed. Luke had strange dreams. They started out as a rough geometric pattern of vivid color. This slowly arranged itself into a scene of bleak machinery. This machinery was somehow connected to a steamed bun. Even in the depths of sleep, Luke recognized he was still hungry. In his unconscious mind he thought of riding his bike to the nearby Chinese restaurant which no longer existed. When he awoke he would have been even hungrier than before, if it weren't for the exruciating pain in stomach. He went to the bathroom and was horrified to see that his face had melted into some bizarre swamp creature. Luke screamed a blood curdling scream and collapsed again on the floor. 6 months later, Luke's parents, career superheroes, had become worried about Luke when they hadn't heard from him. Winter had come hard and fast this year. They decided to go to the cabin to check on him. Luke's father knocked on the door. After almost a minute, there was no answer. Then his mother tried repeatedly. Still no answer. They walked over to the side window, where they heard a rustling. Luke's mother gazed at the window, which had become covered with snow. She put her hand up to it and called his name. There was no sound. Deflated, she withdrew her hand from the window. At that moment, they saw Luke's eye, but it was encased in the head of some strange hideous beast. The glass of the window shattered and two horrible arms snatched Luke's parents and pulled them in. Hideous screams escaped and blood flew from the window, staining the snow. The Fucking Hazard family was never heard from again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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