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The Chronicles Of Fish Beast Man

Part 1

Like I would ever forget about Fish Beast Man. Every night I sit awake 'till the early hours next to my 2 way radio with a bottle of scotch, tuning into fishing channel frequencies off the coast of our fair shore, patiently waiting for one boat to send a distress call for a massive, scaly leviathan has breached the surface of the Dark Seas. And when that time comes I will hastily head over to my dresser door, take out the WW2 service revolver and empty one single bullet into my temple, for once Fish Beast Man makes his return there is no hope. Electro Gimpoid From Outerspace? Yes. Great Wood Goblin Of The Medieval Thicket? Yes. But Fish Beast Man Of The Dark Seas? No chance in Hell.

Edited by beer badger
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Barbed wire burritos, tin foil cheetos 

got honey Dijon mustard and car full of petite hos

slammin on hibachi tables flippin the shrimp tails

accidentally sent you mom this dick through gmail

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12 March 2019

Flavour Name: BeefSize: 12 x 85 gVerified Purchase
First Purchased in the East of Essex Co-op at about 55p each by no means a large amount of food after a while it went up to 79p per tin so I turned to Morrisons who was selling it for less. East of Essex co-op then opted the price to 99p per tin I refuse to pay that so I thought I would go on line - found it cheaper - The cat could eventually lose out on this one should the price rise -

 

21 June 2019

I purchased one of these tools some years ago they are amazing for getting dandelions plus long roots out!!!!! I have always ben worried that I would lose it - I have on a number of occasions- and promised myself that if I ever saw one like it I would purchase it - I saw this one - it is great - I purchased it - I am now going to get another for my sister.

 

16 April 2019

Another excellent book - althoughI refused to read any of his books when he was sent to prison - I was so disgusted with him - the rat. I will never purchase any of his prison diaries - but...... I have spent a fortune catching up with all the booksI had missed!!!!!!!

 

16 April 2019

Sloggi are one of the best makes for fit, quality, they wash well, wear well, they suit my way of life and certainly no knicker line. - Thank you.

 

16 April 2019

This is an excellent bit of equipment for anyone who has a painful back and is unable to bend. I have a son who is going to have surgery on his back and at the moment is really suffering extremely bad back pain. He has been having to get on his knees to remove all the treasures from his pup. This piece of equipment he said is an absolutely a godsend. So pleased with it - I will get him another one for Christmas!!!!!
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The Chronicles Of Fish Beast Man

Part 2 

Two potato waffles, three fish fingers and a fried egg in between two slices of bread, but as I bit into it the darnedest thing happened.

Upon opening my eyes I found myself at sea standing on the deck of the ship, immediately before my eyes I see a great white bushy beard spread out from my face. I look up to the sky and notice my arm is outstretched and in my head I'm holding aloft the severed head of another mythical sea creature.

"Another Kraken slain Captain Birdseye, that's the sixth foul creature slain by your hand since we began this expedition to purge the oceans of monstrosities and primarily catch enough cod to keep Fair England well stocked with frozen fish fingers for a lifetime and then some"

The savage crew of guttersnipes and cut throats rolled with rum and celebration, and huge white dragon clouds whispered fast overhead, charging head first towards the disappearing horizon on the ancient age of sail winds.

I stood upon the deck alone, the rum, the sodomy and the lash heaving below me. My eyes, ears and mind were fixed upon the distance, and all I could see was an apocalyptic darkness. Kraken was small fry compared to what lurked beneath. The Kraken was fish food for Fish Beast Man.

I kept close to my 2 way radio. 

 

 

Edited by beer badger
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Ben Franklin invented electricity.

Rodney Mullen invented the kickflip. 

Walter Frederick Morrison invented the frisbee.

Henry John Heinz invented ketchup.

Alexandre Edmond Becquerel invented solar panels. 

Dr. Seuss invented the double sided dildo.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hail your new God Fish Beast Man!!

His salivating bloodlust has drawn him from the darkest, deepest drifts of the Dark Sea. His foul fucking beast gut, belly flops onto the shallows of the estuary. The boats with wise Skippers with the ancient tools to hunt him down have missed a trick. The boats with modern technology and digital tools have missed a trick. No one can track him.

Cloaked in sullen medieval mist the distant village sleeps soundly. Soon Fish Beast Man will completely pillage this pathetic village. Every chicken, pig, goose and duck will be eaten whole and the bones shat out of his savage foul arsehole on the murky shores. A funeral pyre of stinking bones and digested meat.

On the hill in the distance the vicar sat in his church see's Fish Beast Man as his new God. But the villagers prepare for battle against the stinking foul intruder. They gather close like a coven of witches around the 2 way radio. And they prepare to fight!

 

 

Edited by beer badger
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How are your family doing? Healthy? Chilled? Relaxing over Sunday dinner prep? Something you wouldn’t wanna experience being fucked with by lengths on here, agreed?

Then, unfortunately for you, some tool on here is more than apable of curling one off on all that. Think about the ramifications of that & if yer an orphan or estranged, apologies.

WATMM will only die if self anointed used tampons aren’t called out on their actions.

Hypocrisy and the epitome of the Spiralised gimp. You wouldn’t last 30seconds in person with my wife, repeat that bollix you’ve repeated here on & on and she’d arm bar while you were busy stroking your own ego. 

Cue mod ban...you hide in packs, you operate in packs and you seem incapable of anything beyond that.

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  • 2 weeks later...

We had climbed through the ancient sunburnt gorges of the frontier together and paddled bright yellow canoes through silent canyons that will meander in my dreamtime forever.

Sparkling waterfalls forged cold bottomless pools that provided instant relief from the scorched heat of the inland frontier, these watery chasms were good places to breath in the shade of the midday sun. To me this land was desolate and vast, but not dead, there were spirits here and they seemed to echo everywhere. Then one day the tortured shades of orange rock gave way to an endless horizon of blue. We had discovered the ocean and we awakened from the fever. 

Somewhere off the coast, hidden deep in the marine vortex, something leviathan shifted. The crushing horror of the flood of The Dark Sea was nothing to the fucking Beast that followed in it's wake. Hewn of fish, coral and crustaceans!

Edited by beer badger
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Paul Blart: Rapist

Terminator 2: Fuck Wit Dre Day

Titanic 2: This Time It’s A Spaceship That Hits An Asteroid + Inception 

Batman Begins... The Fucking Keto Diet

Game Of Thrones: Titties, Rape, Castration, Gore, Dragons, Incest, and that Witty ass Midget Ni?️?️a + Ed Sheeran 

Alien 8: Humans Raping Aliens

 

Edited by Candiru
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Myth: Hyenas are hermaphrodites. 
Truth: This myth may come from the fact that spotted hyena females are generally bigger than males and have a pseudo-penis. 

These pseudo-penises, or pseudophalluses, are paired with "testicles"—actually fused labia filled with fatty tissue. Both sexes get erections when they're excitedly greeting each other, Benson-Amram says. 

These pseudo-penises aren't just for show: Females give birth through their “penis,” which “has to tear when the first cub passes through,” she says. (Read more about hyena sexual quirks in How Can You Tell a Female Animal from a Male?

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Rootin’ Tootin’ hollerin’ knee slappin’ belly rubbin’ Finger lickin’ Toe tappin’ Flim flammin’ stick to your ribs lolly gaggin’ Grab assin’ dick slappin’ mashed taters for ya fellers dagnabbit

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The damned man ate a FUCKING SLICE OF bread whilst knowing full well that sounds are not for free. This ends here my Lord, I have my sword sgeathened and my appointment on hold so I will take a good leak on the son's sister tonight. Yes I have been sleeping.

shit

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