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Lego Feet LP

Alcofribas

By Alcofribas
in Autechre

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Alcofribas Grand Master

Alcofribas

Posted
Posted

Ok, sorry for the delay but at first i wrote an entire review about a legowelt album before i realized it wasn't even autechre at all. sean had to pm me and point this out. (i submit all my reviews to him before i post them so he can make any suggestions. actually, he basically wrote the entire oversteps review since i was in a bad mood that day.)

 

first track starts off sweet, it's like stockhausen for 4 seconds.

 

then my custom gameboy ringtone kicks in. can't believe ae made gameboy songs! wait, that's actually the album. lush. but then this just noodles with half-finished basslines and beep bops and stuff that i don't care about. i fucking hate electronica.

 

the second track has this really cool beat. but here's the problem: it has lyrics. now this was fine on oversteps but there's something really wrong with lyrics like this:

 

"have you ever" by bobby brown [rob brown]

 

Smoked a penis?

Cokes a dog?

Drunk a drum beam

in a firehouse hose?

 

Cooled a chic

with manly finess?

Then took the trip

to the little boy's space?

 

Jewed a lawyer

with a dollar campaign?

Soiled an undy?

Spoiled his complaints?

 

***

 

seriously? that's fucked up!

 

but the beat is wicked, kinda sounds like a wolf, pitched down really low so it sounds like a black guy on reverse helium, having a fight with a laundry bin inside a tunnel. pretty scary actually. mostly because i'm kinda afraid of wolves and black guys.ultimate fear: a wolf riding on a black guy's shoulders while hearing this song.

 

the third piece is weird. so at first i'm just sitting in my condo jacking off. in the background candles are lit, they smell like jasmine. a stick of incense burns, also jasmine. i'm alone except for my pictures of the 'chre bros. in the oven is a heart shaped red velvet cake, uncooked. the oven is set to 1 degree. when it is done cooking, i will cum. i read two poems. the first is by me and it reads:

 

*** (untitlted) ***

like a jeweled opera in the penny lotus position

i do anoint thee while kisses and fairy blushes

all from the meat loins of my cloth

are cut with a crisp pair of blades

by a tailor in the womb

 

***

as this poem is not enough, the second is in order. first i drink down a glass of wine, a mixture of both colors of wine. i call it "pink wine." it's delicious going down and i look forward to smelling it coming out (sounds weird but isn't). next, the second poem. somewhat longer in length. it is called

 

Bambook Revolution

 

born to kill,

kill to born.

Police attest to 101 dalmations.

out of the smoldering ash of corpses

come the corps of the New Age...

and then they all drifted silently in the river ganges,

the river thames,

the euphrates

and the easy-to-spell-M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I

the whole race of corpses like brush down stream,

lovers and enemies sittin in a tree D-Y-I-N-G;

first cums love

then comes marriage

then comes death in an orphan's carriage

wee wee wee all the way home.

 

****

 

this poem aeffects me greatly and i have to blow out the candle. even then i am still quite worked up so i turn off my record player and put the legowelt back on which is comforting since i just heard it and reviewed it earlier. i decide it's probably not a good idea to listen to this part ever again.

 

after a while i put on side three, the final side of the LP edition of lego feet. there simply isn't a fourth side which is strange. you flip over the vinyl and then you have nothing in your hand. fucking mental.

 

the final piece. i'm excited, if not too excited. here's what it sounds like to these ears:

 

909 toms. they're playing along pretty good with a spring reverb going on too. stoked for what comes next. then it's really cool because you can hear them fade in the next part; an interesting technique. the next part is the kick. it's like, lower in frequency with a "thumping" "boom" kinda sounds. like a bass drum. sounds like when a big heavy thing hits the ground but wickider. then comes in a pad. or a bass. i can't tell. honestly, i don't know the difference. i think a bass is monophonic but a pad is a chord. lush. i couldn't figure out the next part but sean says it's "high hats" which i'm assuming just means they were stoned when they made this weird higher up sound on the 16th notes. the next sound litteraly sounds like farting. not sure what to make of it. a sample from brian eno's "an ending (ascent)" comes in and the whole piece gets emotional and i'm crying a lot at this point. i'm feeling nostalgia for a past that never was. i'm feeling nostalgia for the future. it's fucked. it feels sad, but warm and comforting. everything sounds so familiar and new at the same time -- nostalgia for the unknown. lush! then comes some other stuff, not sure how to describe it. some signature ae sounds: a balls and marbles dropped on the floor, a ghostly voice, weird modem sounds at a variety of pitches, 4/4 signatures that sound like 17/9. you can tell they hang out with rdj but still have their own sound. finally, i don't feel like listening till the end and turn off the music only to realize all along i only listened to the first song. it's 4 seconds. fml

 

10/10

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lumpenprol Grand Master

lumpenprol

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Posted

but the beat is wicked, kinda sounds like a wolf, pitched down really low so it sounds like a black guy on reverse helium, having a fight with a laundry bin inside a tunnel. pretty scary actually. mostly because i'm kinda afraid of wolves and black guys.ultimate fear: a wolf riding on a black guy's shoulders while hearing this song.

 

as this poem is not enough, the second is in order. first i drink down a glass of wine, a mixture of both colors of wine. i call it "pink wine." it's delicious going down and i look forward to smelling it coming out (sounds weird but isn't).

 

i simultaneously shat myself and burst out in tears reading this, then wiped up my tears with my soiled undergarments

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markedone Grand Master

markedone

Posted
Posted (edited)

the third piece is weird. so at first i'm just sitting in my condo jacking off. in the background candles are lit, they smell like jasmine. a stick of incense burns, also jasmine. i'm alone except for my pictures of the 'chre bros. in the oven is a heart shaped red velvet cake, uncooked. the oven is set to 1 degree. when it is done cooking, i will cum. i read two poems.

 

pure poetry

Edited by Marked x 0ne
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Guest theSun

Guest theSun

Posted
Posted

the third piece is weird. so at first i'm just sitting in my condo jacking off. in the background candles are lit, they smell like jasmine. a stick of incense burns, also jasmine. i'm alone except for my pictures of the 'chre bros. in the oven is a heart shaped red velvet cake, uncooked. the oven is set to 1 degree. when it is done cooking, i will cum. i read two poems.

 

pure poetry

 

lost it there as well. this is hard hitting literature

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  • 4 weeks later...
superstix Mentor

superstix

Posted
Posted

the third piece is weird. so at first i'm just sitting in my condo jacking off. in the background candles are lit, they smell like jasmine. a stick of incense burns, also jasmine. i'm alone except for my pictures of the 'chre bros. in the oven is a heart shaped red velvet cake, uncooked. the oven is set to 1 degree. when it is done cooking, i will cum. i read two poems.

 

pure poetry

 

lost it there as well. this is hard hitting literature

 

I don't know why but this was my favorite bit as well. Bravo

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