Films Recently Watched

[Silent Member]

Paranormal Activity is the worst. Friday and elms are goofy fun.

 

Final Destination, insidious and saw are also pretty intolerable.

Edited September 10, 2018 by Gocab

[tec]

 

Looks like the new Halloween film stays true to the series in that it's pretty shit. Is there a worse horror franchise?

worse... probably Friday the 13th/Nightmare on Elmstreet. Absolute shit. The original nightmare is doable...bout' it. Halloween, the first 2 are fine. That basically secures it being better than those other two. Season of the witch is it's own animal.

I think here is where we part ways friend. Elm Street is amazing and Friday the 13th is exploitative rubbish but at least you get the nudity and the gore.

Have you seen Dream Warriors?

[olo]

 

 

Looks like the new Halloween film stays true to the series in that it's pretty shit. Is there a worse horror franchise?

worse... probably Friday the 13th/Nightmare on Elmstreet. Absolute shit. The original nightmare is doable...bout' it. Halloween, the first 2 are fine. That basically secures it being better than those other two. Season of the witch is it's own animal.

I think here is where we part ways friend. Elm Street is amazing and Friday the 13th is exploitative rubbish but at least you get the nudity and the gore.

Have you seen Dream Warriors?

 

 

Seen em' all. Like I said, original nightmare is fine. never liked the rest. Friday the 13th is unwatchable for me. But really, all the horror franchises mentioned are pretty shit, minus a handful of decent flicks sprinkled in there.

[tec]

What's your favourite?

[olo]

What's your favourite?

 

Probably one we haven't mentioned.

 

Tremors

 

Truthfully though, off the top of my head, Evil Dead I guess.

Edited September 10, 2018 by olo

[T3551ER]

Edit: Tremors fucking rocks! Even the sequels maintain their own, if diminishing, charm. . .

 

Funny, the missus and I have been under the weather so decided to take a weekend for bad horror flicks including:

 

Freddy vs Jason:  A love letter to both franchises, tons of subtle nods to each (particularly enjoyed the nods to different representations of Kreuger, including his straight up "demon" look). In particular, they very much nail the feel of the best parts of the Nightmare franchise, and walk a nice line between total camp fun and horror. If you aren't a fan of these two franchise,  well, you absolutely won't like this - but, then, why the hell are you watching it in the first place? 8 finger knives (no fingers knives on the thumb silly)/10 hockey masks 

 

Alien vs Predator: Again, a total love letter to both of the franchises though it falls a little more flat than the above (which is weird to say. . . but we're fully in the "X vs X" film territory here so anything is fair game). Some nice nods to the origins, decent directing, and solid design work. Not groundbreaking, but what do you want from a movie called "Aliens vs Predator" - you basically wants aliens bursting out of chests, fucking shit up, eventually being hunted by badass predators with krull-esque blade thingies in a constantly shapeshifting underground pyramid. Then maybe a climactic battle w. momma alien where a badass chick (shades of ridley) teams up w/ a predator who's respect she's earned (a la Predator 2) to take down the big baddie in an artic snowstorm. Ok, now that I think about it this movie fucking rocks. Although, of course, nothing rocks as much as:

 

 

Aliens vs Predator: Requiem - the main reason I came to post here. Because DO NOT EVER WATCH THIS MOVIE. I started to write a review to try and communicate how categorically awful this is, but realized it's not worth the effort. Just, think of it this way: if you had to choose between a hair shirt and this for your penance, this is a guaranteed ticket through the pearly gates after one viewing. 

 

Pirahna (2010): ... Uh. . . ok, this could also be titled "Girls Gone Wild: Big Budget Boobies" I can't tell if it's an insanely clever meta-commentary that a main character in this film is a Girls Gone Wild-esque director (played to disturbing perfection by Jerry O'Connell - yes, the guy from Sliders) or just an excuse to show, essentially, what Girls Gone Wild would look like if it were produced with a massive, massive budget. The amount of boobies and ass-shaking in this film is astounding. It reminds me of being 14 and fapping to MTV's "The Grind" but with 10x's the pixel count and 5x's the silicone. To be fair, this film is all about excess, and when the killing starts, it is 100% as gratuitous as any of the sexuality. In some ways, I think that's kind of the point. It's a movie that takes the age-old horror formula (amount of sex directly proportional to violence in death scene) and accelerates it across the mandelbrot set. The gore here is beyond extreme, and as much as the camera remains focused on the T&A early, it stays unflinchingly focused on arms ripped off, legs shredded, and torsos literally ripped in two. Think about the first 15 minutes of Saving Private Ryan, but with hot beach bunnies and ripped frat dudes instead of soldiers.

 

I literally can not figure out whether or not I liked this film or not. What I can say is: This is the #1 movie to never, ever watch with your children (at any age). 

Edited September 10, 2018 by T3551ER

[Silent Member]

A fellow victim! The AvP Requiem warning is called for.

 

Watched two thirds of Lowlife (2018), this sits with a comfortable 89% fresh rating on rotten tomatoes. Probably the worst piece of shit I've seen so far this year.

 

K. Finished it, it's not the worst, but damn, it's like one of those "me too Tarantino" films from the mid nineties. It's really bad. The critics are all wrong. Go me.

Edited September 10, 2018 by Gocab

[usagi]

Looks like the new Halloween film stays true to the series in that it's pretty shit. Is there a worse horror franchise?

Saw. worst one out.

[TRiP]

You Were Never Really Here

Very stylised and art house in its asthetics, but wrapped around a very dark thriller - makes for a good combo. Nice editing also!

Master of the Flying Guillotine (1976)
Class! Highly recommended for Kung-Fu fans. Non-stop crazy action, cool weapons, satisfying final scene, what more could one want.
 

[T3551ER]

A fellow victim! The AvP Requiem warning is called for.

 

 

We should start a support group (aka excuse to drink beer)!    

 

Also, when I read this, all I could think was:

 

[Nebraska]

 

this is a good example of when a director has bitten off a little more than they can chew. the film has many problems in pacing and storytelling- some scenes are just outright clumsy (mainly the "party" scenes and the awkward vegas scene where they watch a boxing match on tv) but one of the most glaring problems is just the amateurish acting from the main cast with exception from mathew mcconaughey- this story just needed a better seasoned cast and crew. also jennifer jason leigh seems wasted in this as she only shows up almost always in a car chain smoking and barking orders and not much else

[dr lopez]

has anyone been following the Dau film project shit? It's supposed to come out this fall and damn I need to see it. Probably something eugene would like.

[Taupe Beats]

Yeah the old GQ article about it was fascinating. His previous film “4” also looks nuts

 

 

This reminds me that I want to see Loznitsa’s last 2 films, badly

[hello spiral]

I can confirm that 4 is fucking nuts. Was a random dvd purchase years ago that I ended up watching at 4am during a bout of insomnia.

 

Very keen to see if that new thing gets released yeah.

[marf]

trip down memory lane. 

 

A children's movie at the time

The Burbs. My kind of comedy. 

love it

 

I want to go see the film El Capitan in imax

[iococoi]

Turbo Kid (2015)

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3672742

 

150% 80s!

Edited September 14, 2018 by iococoi

[Nebraska]

 

a straight up classic, starring the who's who of 80s adult cinema- from annette 'heaven' haven to veronica "perfection" hart. story is your typical- we'd like to make some x-rated cinema but this uptight (right wing?) organization is against it so we must send our filthiest ladies to "convince" them otherwise. directed by a true master class of cinema 'gary graver' this feature also stars the very rare arcadia lake who (if you read her story and you need some serious google skills for that) died an unfortunate death in the early 90s. i'll give you a hint: she had a perfectly normal life until she married a guy that's also in this movie but she had a bad heroin problem and being in adult films didn't help so she robbed him, set the house on fire and used the money to buy more heroin then overdosed. sorry 

 

i'm not going to lie: but sometimes the wife and i would rather watch this than anything like the predator or that other sick joke of a film i watched the night before.  

 

two hundred and fifteen sheets between the legs out of ten

 

p.s. this is a laser disc that took about 12 years to get. salute to the sucker that parted with this classic

Edited September 14, 2018 by Nebraska

[fumi]

Just got back from The Predator. It absolutely sucked. Story made no sense whatsoever (even with the confines of the film itself). Tonally all wrong and the scenes just seem to have been assembled in some haphazard order.

 

It was basically as though Shane Black had let a bunch of Comic-Con fans film they're favourite scenes and then pasted them all together.

 

Worst entry in franchise. 1987 and 1992 are still the best ones.

[olo]

Just got back from The Predator. It absolutely sucked. Story made no sense whatsoever (even with the confines of the film itself). Tonally all wrong and the scenes just seem to have been assembled in some haphazard order.

 

 

The finished film didn't test well with early screenings.They re-shot a bunch of it and spliced in said parts to what was the finished movie. Makes sense it would be shite.  It sounded like a disaster from day one really.

Edited September 14, 2018 by olo

[auxien]

 

Just got back from The Predator. It absolutely sucked. Story made no sense whatsoever (even with the confines of the film itself). Tonally all wrong and the scenes just seem to have been assembled in some haphazard order.

 

 

The finished film didn't test well with early screenings.They re-shot a bunch of it and spliced in said parts to what was the finished movie. Makes sense it would be shite.  It sounded like a disaster from day one really.

Yeah, not surprising that it sucks. I've been keeping up with the 'news' about the production and like you said it's been through tons of shit. I think 4 times they went back for reshoots, totally changed the ending, cut Edward James Almos entirely from the film, just had to cut scenes with a convicted sexual predator actor (Black's personal friend who he's been hiring for years, lots of shit with that too). Heard and seen nothing good about it really. Quite sad.

[eugene]

mandy - very, very dull. there very a few scenes in the first half where i thought "ooh, here we go, this is where kicks in" but it kinda fizzled out and didn't lift off. basically it doesn't even succeed as style over substance exercise because there isn't much style, mostly it's just some overlong grainy shots, fucking about with cheapo lighting and smoke and crazed occult banter. the 2nd half is supposed to be full on revenge b-movie, but that too doesn't work. it's not funny enough, nor kinetic enough, the baddies are not colorful or interesting enough and cage in full on insane mode is a tired meme at this point. the only thing that stands out is the score, but that's obviously not enough to make a film.

 

(copyright infringement disclaimer: i do not condome illegal acquisition of copyrighted audiovisual material from unsanctioned third parties. you should always support the hard work of your local cinematic communities that produce valuable artistic content that helps us persevere through those difficult times.)

[usagi]

I'm not going near those early webrips. was seriously tempted though.

Edited September 15, 2018 by usagi

[eugene]

it's a web-dl, basically exactly what you would get from netflix/amazon streaming. 7GB is generally ok for a 2hour 1080p film, though there is visible banding in dark scenes.

 

NEVER ILLEGALLY DOWNLOAD

[tec]

You suck Eugene.

[hello spiral]

Saw this at the ICA

 

 

It might've been good but I really couldn't tell you.

As soon as it started I realised they'd enabled subtitles.

My options were: read them as he started speaking and so don't really listen OR focus on the top 3/4s of the screen so I don't read them, which was frankly ludicrously distracting and stressful.

I spent the first 25mins of this film furious and sperging out about this. We were sat right in front of the projection window and I was very tempted to tap on it and tell them to turn the fucking subs off.

For the last half of the film the girl diagonally in front of me was fidgetting and slumped sideways across the empty seat beside her, meaning the top of her head covered the bottom of the screen. This was much better.

I think it's a pretty good film, if a little on the nose and trying to be clever and failling, but will reserve judgement when I can watch at home with no fucking subtitles.