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a socialist, an illegal immigrant, and a muslim walk into a bar


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Jesus, God and the Holy Ghost walk into the bar and order a couple of pints and a Rum&Coke

 

The barman says: "Here's the pints for you and yer da' but sorry we don't serve spirits"

 

I made that joke up during a week off work - but it's so obvious someone else must've cope up with it before ...

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an englishman, irishman and welshman walk into a bar.

The scotsman is not invited as it was his choice to vote for independence and as such he is no longer allowed into the rest of the uk without a passport.

 

The Irish man is not from the UK either

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Guest abusivegeorge

an englishman, irishman and welshman walk into a bar.

The scotsman is not invited as it was his choice to vote for independence and as such he is no longer allowed into the rest of the uk without a passport.

 

The Irish man is not from the UK either

an irishman walks out of a bar

 

lol

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A man walks into the bar and orders 5 shots of tequila

He begins to down them one by one rather quickly

"What's the occasion?" asks the bartender

"My first blowjob" says the man

"Oh, well in that case have one on the house" the bartender says

"Thanks, but if the first 5 don't kill the taste I don't think the 6th will help" says the man.

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an englishman, northern-irishman and welshman walk into a bar.

The scotsman is not invited as it was his choice to vote for independence and as such he is no longer allowed into the rest of the uk without a passport.

 

The Irish man is not from the UK either

 

fixed.

 

The Irishman stays at home and drinks potcheen.

Edited by feltcher
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A man walks into a bar and says "I just got back from the battered woman's shelter, and boy are my arms tired" Everyone laughed. The man sat at the end of the bar drinking alone. He was proud of the fine craftsmanship of the shelves he put up in the shelter's pantry, regardless of what others may think.

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A railroad construction foreman walks into a bar.

It pierces his skull and destroys much of his frontal lobe, and although his survival is deemed miraculous, his personality is altered to the extent that his friends and family feel that he has become a different person.

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A man walks into a bar and says "I just got back from the battered woman's shelter, and boy are my arms tired" Everyone laughed. The man sat at the end of the bar drinking alone. He was proud of the fine craftsmanship of the shelves he put up in the shelter's pantry, regardless of what others may think.

 

lol

 

A railroad construction foreman walks into a bar.

It pierces his skull and destroys much of his frontal lobe, and although his survival is deemed miraculous, his personality is altered to the extent that his friends and family feel that he has become a different person.

 

lol

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An actual piece of human shit walks into a bar.

 

And everyone in the bar starts screaming "eww gross, it's a walking piece of shit!"

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A guy walks into a bar.

 

"Help," he cries, "I've been in an accident! My wife is unconscious and bleeding profusely! Please help!"

 

The bartender is a donkey and is unable to assist.

 

david-lyncharticle.jpg

Edited by baph
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alcofribas walks into a bar

he has a good time and writes a favourable Yelp review, peppering his words with witty non-sequiturs and intentional typos

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A man walks into the bar and orders 5 shots of tequila

He begins to down them one by one rather quickly

"What's the occasion?" asks the bartender

"My first blowjob" says the man

"Oh, well in that case have one on the house" the bartender says

"Thanks, but if the first 5 don't kill the taste I don't think the 6th will help" says the man.

 

bahahahahaha that got a big gut laugh out of me.

 

can we pin this as a jokes thread? i love this kind of stuff.

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