Jump to content

Recommended Posts

2 hours ago, Plum said:

I know I’m old. Last week I wrote a charming review for my local post office.

I doubt that very much, I've had antibiotic resistant infections more charming than you.  Old Masego Mbengo behind the counter isn't going to give you free stamps just because you gave a 5 star google review.  Idiot.  

  • Like 3
  • Haha 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Replies 391
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

28 minutes ago, zkom said:

I actually went to check the meaning of the lyrics some months ago because they were pretty cryptic and 20-something guy singing about midlife crisis was kind of weird. Still don't know what the hell some of the lines mean like "my head is like a lettuce / go on and dig your thumbs in" and "what an inheritance / the salt and the kleenex".:shrug:

My mom's interpretation of the head-like-lettuce line was medieval torture, which was part of her justification for throwing my Angel Dust cassette in the garbage.

If there's a hit song with weirder lyrics, I am not aware of it.

28 minutes ago, kakapo said:

I doubt that very much, I've had antibiotic resistant infections more charming than you.  Old Masego Mbengo behind the counter isn't going to give you free stamps just because you gave a 5 star google review.  Idiot.  

What is the story behind this legendary watmm rivalry?

Edited by Zephyr_Nova
Link to post
Share on other sites
5 minutes ago, Zephyr_Nova said:

My mom's interpretation of the head-like-lettuce line was medieval torture, which was part of her justification for throwing my Angel Dust cassette in the garbage.

 

So not the fact that the album was named Angel Dust which is a nickname for PCP or that there's a song called Crack Hitler?

Link to post
Share on other sites
6 minutes ago, Zephyr_Nova said:

What is the story behind this legendary watmm rivalry?

Plum is the epitome of the bootlicking LTM.  To this day he still sends me harassing private messages with grandiose boasts and ill conceived threats.

Link to post
Share on other sites
30 minutes ago, kakapo said:

I doubt that very much, I've had antibiotic resistant infections more charming than you.  Old Masego Mbengo behind the counter isn't going to give you free stamps just because you gave a 5 star google review.  Idiot.  

Well dickwod shows what you know, postmistress Julie was very appreciative of my kind and heartfelt review, and did in fact reward me with a book of commemorative Harry Potter stamps.

So stick that up/on your parse-hole!

Link to post
Share on other sites

It's amazing what my parents let me listen to when I was a kid but on the other hand my father kept playing songs about ladies with enormous breasts and buttocks which I was forbidden to sing at the daycare.

Link to post
Share on other sites
9 minutes ago, kakapo said:

 grandiose boasts 

 

9 minutes ago, Plum said:

 Julie was very appreciative of my kind and heartfelt review, and did in fact reward me with a book of commemorative Harry Potter stamps.

 

Right on cue.  So predictable.  He told me once he'd been on holiday to China and when he came back he could speak Chinese fluently and that's why he got free prawn crackers every time he got a takeaway.

Link to post
Share on other sites
46 minutes ago, kakapo said:

 

Right on cue.  So predictable.  He told me once he'd been on holiday to China and when he came back he could speak Chinese fluently and that's why he got free prawn crackers every time he got a takeaway.

That’s 100% true. I actually have so many excess bags of prawn crackers, I use them as void fill in my parcels. Postmistress Julie often comments on the delicious smell of my package. 

1 hour ago, Zephyr_Nova said:

What is the story behind this legendary watmm rivalry?

The only legendary thing is Kakapo’s bad breath. It can make an onion cry. 

edit: plus Kakapo’s face looks like a squeezed teabag, and he has the charisma of Antony Worrall Thompson’s scrotum.

Edited by Plum
  • Haha 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

Sounds like you go to the post office quite a lot.  That etsy shop you set up at the beginning of the pandemic selling motivational crochet must be doing well.  Glad that worked out for you.

Link to post
Share on other sites
11 minutes ago, kakapo said:

Sounds like you go to the post office quite a lot.  That etsy shop you set up at the beginning of the pandemic selling motivational crochet must be doing well.  Glad that worked out for you.

That reminds me, I’ve finished crocheting that dildo you ordered. I’ll get it safely packed in prawn crackers and dropped off to postmistress Julie shortly.

Edited by Plum
  • Like 1
  • Haha 3
Link to post
Share on other sites

I'll be 40 this year, but I've always had a pretty easy-going attitude so I'm not sure when or if I'll get hit with the midlife crisis stuff.  I've always looked 10 years younger than I am and always felt young.  The Mrs. and I don't have kids (not through our own choice) so our lives have been pretty good thus far, but I'm starting to worry about what's going to happen to me when we're old and most of our family is gone.

The biggest thing weighing on me is probably my aging parents and the fact that my dad has an incurable degenerative lung disease.  It really sucks to see his health slowly deteriorate and to hear his mental struggles with the whole issue.  This thing is hereditary (four of his aunts and his sister died from it), so there's a chance that I am looking into the future when I see what's happening to him.

My dad was really screwed with retirement.  His company declared bankruptcy and cut all healthcare for retirees just before he was set to retire, so he had to work an extra 6 years to save for healthcare after retirement.  When he was finally able to retire, 6 months later he was diagnosed with this lung disease.  This affected me deeply and as a result, I'm saving like hell and planning on retiring at 55, which is probably do-able with no kids and some settlement money from the aforementioned issue which took away our choice of having children.  After retirement I'm hoping to move to the Pacific Northwest somewhere on Puget Sound where I can buy a small house on the side of a hill with a view of the sound.

  • Like 4
  • Sad 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
6 hours ago, chenGOD said:

"Daddy, is seven plus seven fourteen?" Like where the fuck did that come from.

math questions are top of the list right now in our household. they range anywhere from "what's 2 plus 2" to "what's a million times infinity"

  • Like 3
  • Haha 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
17 minutes ago, zero said:

math questions are top of the list right now in our household. they range anywhere from "what's 2 plus 2" to "what's a million times infinity"

Yeah math questions are great I was just like..."we just finished reading Winnie the Pooh, it's lights out, and you're asking math questions? At least she got it right." Also, can you tell me what is 1000 million distance from here?

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
28 minutes ago, randomsummer said:

I'll be 40 this year, but I've always had a pretty easy-going attitude so I'm not sure when or if I'll get hit with the midlife crisis stuff.  I've always looked 10 years younger than I am and always felt young.  The Mrs. and I don't have kids (not through our own choice) so our lives have been pretty good thus far, but I'm starting to worry about what's going to happen to me when we're old and most of our family is gone.

If it's any consolation, kids are not a guarantee against loneliness in old age. My experience working in the elderly sector made me pretty cynical on the matter. 

  • Thanks 1
  • Sad 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
2 minutes ago, Cryptowen said:

I'm gonna be 30 in two days. Thank God. I'm just as much of a nomad/hermit as I was at 20, but back then I felt like there was something wrong with that. I thought there was something real & meaningful I had to discovery via culture, romantic relationships, etc. Now I see that all along I was the only person who could truly validate me. And honestly if anything I feel like I have more energy than I did a decade ago, because I take better care of myself + squander less of it on neurotic rumination + didn't go too deep into the usual self-destructive vices people attempt to find meaning with in their 20s (came up with a few of my own, tho)

also pisces may not be the most idm astrological sign but its definitely the most justin bieber slowed down 6000% astrological sign

We share a b-day, homie 🥂

I'm in my 40s now and I feel like most of my 30s were gradually ramping up to where I'm currently at... and that midlife crisis is kickin hard fer sher rn.

I wish I could give you some advice. Sounds like you're doing some stuff right. If there's one thing I would say it's probably to cut out the people/situations/environments that make you uncomfortable/self-critical now. Cut em out hard. Those things really eat at you later and might become some sticky situations. The earlier you do, the easier it is to change course. If you're on it already, then mad props to you!

I'm definitely the embodiment of pisces in just about every stereotypical way. For me, it feels nothing in my life like is really "together". I'm definitely at a career crossroads. I do have a baby now, which is great, but post-covid, I can't really imagine what my life will look like 5 years from now. I may end up being a stay at home dad, if my wife can swing the money stuff. We'll see.

If I was to change anything, I might want to have had a baby younger. I was terrified to have a baby most of my life but now I'm all in and love being a dad... but it's very hard on the 40+ body, bro. Babies are great, too. They don't have any judgement and they make you feel like you get a bit of a renewed lease on life because you can re-contextualize everything and pass off a second shot at the world to the next closest thing to yourself. They are super fun and magical. 

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, Zephyr_Nova said:

My mom's interpretation of the head-like-lettuce line was medieval torture, which was part of her justification for throwing my Angel Dust cassette in the garbage.

Haha yours too eh? My mom didn’t like the band name, she seemed to think they were saying not to have faith. I had a Faith No More poster on my door. She took it down and put up a poster that said “Hell Ain’t Cool”. I cut it up and pasted it back together to say “Ain’t Hell Cool” and ultimately won the war of passive aggression.

  • Haha 3
  • Burger 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

fish crew represssent

30 minutes ago, J3FF3R00 said:

If there's one thing I would say it's probably to cut out the people/situations/environments that make you uncomfortable/self-critical now. Cut em out hard. Those things really eat at you later and might become some sticky situations.

i definitely started doing that around 26, as I became more confident in my own ability to assess how my life was going//began to realize that there would inevitably be a great deal of stuff that others wouldn't be able to aprpeciate, and that my happiness shouldn't be tied up in trying to make others see really abstract personal things that I can see. 2020 certainly helped a lot in this regard in the sense that mainstream culture has essentially been put on pause. No longer feeling obligation to maintain even a token showing of normalcy, I feel like I've been able to explore a whole lot of new ways of thinking & to somewhat re-define my self-image//my sense of what's actually important.

I'm also extremely pisces imo. i've largely ignored many of the typical 20something concerns in order to drift around & devote a great deal of time & energy to making low-key ambient music that I barely bother even telling anyone about any more. Emotionally I feel at peace with this but I do recognize that if I do want to do some normal people things (like say, having a kid) I'm probably going to have to find some unconventional "me" way of pulling it off. My dad was 40 when I was born, and I've always thought that I'd probably want to have a kid before that. This of course immediately raises many points of concerns such as "you haven't met anyone you'd want to have a kid with", "you've mostly just worked sporadic minimum wage jobs", "you like spending most of your time alone", "you live in a big city & imagine yourself raising a family in a rural area", etc. Again I try not to let these things get to me (because that wouldn't be productive); instead I try to think of alternative ways of achieving these things. I mean, like, this seems to be the case for millenials & younger across the board. Most of us haven't figured out an actual path to accomplishing basic adult stuff yet. Maybe it's us, maybe it's societal decay, maybe it's just an interesting challenge from the gods

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Plum said:
2 hours ago, kakapo said:

Sounds like you go to the post office quite a lot.  That etsy shop you set up at the beginning of the pandemic selling motivational crochet must be doing well.  Glad that worked out for you.

That reminds me, I’ve finished crocheting that dildo you ordered. I’ll get it safely packed in prawn crackers and dropped off to postmistress Julie shortly.

Postmistresses, dildos, kakapo, and plum. A modern drama in 4 acts.

Link to post
Share on other sites
16 hours ago, Cryptowen said:

pisces may not be the most idm astrological sign

What is the most IDM astrological sign? Honest question.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, chenGOD said:

What is the most IDM astrological sign? Honest question.

I'm gonna go with Virgo (not just because it's Aphex Twin's sign): It's stereotypically associated with perfectionism & detail orientation. Also it's one of the four mutable signs, which would associate it with complex information systems. As for the other mutable signs: IDM isn't explicitly emotional enough to be pisces, there isn't enough reference to primary cultural forms to be Gemini, and there isn't the sense of a goal-oriented individualistic project that might come with sag. Whereas Virgo is mutable Earth: a complex system that can be immediately felt in an experiential way.

  • Like 1
  • Burger 1
  • Farnsworth 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • Similar Content

    • By kakapo
      This is the Thai food thread.  We can allow tangential discussion of other SE Asian cuisine and food culture.  I do not want to hear about how you love Sriracha, you basic bitch.   
    • By kakapo
      A puzzle for watmm.
       
      You awake to find yourself in a completely enclosed space measuring approximately 5' by 3' by 3'. There is a single source of light in the form of a battery powered led strip. A small black cat lies curled at your feet.
       
      Two questions.
       
      a) How did you get here?
      b) How will you escape?
       
      I will reveal the answers tomorrow night.
    • By kakapo
      Does anyone have any piercings? In particular nipple piercings.
    • By kakapo
      There's a dead cat in my front garden. Judging by its body position I believe somebody has placed it there deliberately. What does this mean? Will I be sleeping with the fishes?
       
      I was going to post a pic, but I know how sensitive some of you are. But pic on request.
    • By kakapo
      Yo,
       
      I have very bad posture. How do I correct it? Can anyone recommend a) specific gym exercises b) a yoga routine with all the hippy nonsense removed? My office chair is shit and I do the occasional 12 hour day and it's really not helping at the moment, has anyone tried the orthopaedic straps that you can get that force you into correct posture? Worth seeing a chiropractor/osteopath?
       
      Thanks,
      kaka
×
×
  • Create New...