Midlife crisis

[zkom]

I turned 33 this year. I'm mostly using my age to justify not doing things and standing up against stupidity. "I'm too old for this shit." type of thing.

 

Read for an exam? I'm too old for this. -> Goes to drink a beer in a pub.

[Blir]

Hell with it. Nothing we can do about getting older. But we can still do the shit we love.

 

None of the things I love are legal here though.

[pierlu]

I don't know you and your story (other watmmers here seems they do)... but... you're 33... i'm almost 39... I can say to you that it happens. I may say it will last until 37. "Where have all of the flowers gone?" and that kinda shit. Then one day you'll realize you are really getting older and you will not give a shit about your crisis, you'll only be eager to get things done, stay fit and enjoy your time. You may even end up regretting having a crisis at all. But it will have served you to escape the other big crisis, the 50's one (at least I hope). As for the jacket, I'd say don't do anything that you think it will make you feel younger, it will make you feel older. Just embrace your age, if you can. Embrace the crisis, don't fight it.

[Braintree]

I was dating a girl recently that I really liked, but I fucked it up because I say shitty things when I'm drunk.

 

Now I've stopped drinking and I'm trying to get her back. My life has become a romantic comedy...

I feel this post is relevant because I'm approaching 30 and she's the first girl in 6 years that I feel I could have a lasting relationship with.

[Guest Iain C]

I somehow missed this thread a few months back: http://forum.watmm.com/topic/73845-marriage/

 

Now I don't know what to say or think or do.

[kakapo]

 

Got confused post migraine and ended up wandering around Morrison's car park.

wander again and see if dogging is something that might cure your ails...

 

I was telling him how fast time seems to go now that I'm older. A year is like a month to my 10 year old self. He said that when he turned 40, it was like 60 was waiting for him the next morning. Life is apparently like Wonka's boat ride.

 

 

 

Life seems to have an event horizon, and it's 33. That absurdist cliche of finding you are free, but free in a prison, as you accelerate and stretch towards a singularity.

 

Excellent thread. I was originally hoping to beat the 'marriage' threads 8 popcorn .gifs in a row, but it's gone off at a tangent. Actually, I don't feel despairing, more coming at this crisis from Luke's angle, a moment of clarity.

[Blir]

Funnily enough Kakapo I got some hope from the OP. Just the rogaine bit really. I'm losing my hair and it's fucking depressing. Widows peaking all over the place.

[kakapo]

Funnily enough Kakapo I got some hope from the OP. Just the rogaine bit really. I'm losing my hair and it's fucking depressing. Widows peaking all over the place.

 

It's not great on the hairline, works better on the crown. Just slick it back, maybe a small ponytail, a Top Gun aviator jacket and some raybans.

[kakapo]

I somehow missed this thread a few months back: http://forum.watmm.com/topic/73845-marriage/

 

 

'Marriage' had better win an award this year.

[awepittance]

I was dating a girl recently that I really liked, but I fucked it up because I say shitty things when I'm drunk.

 

Now I've stopped drinking and I'm trying to get her back. My life has become a romantic comedy...

 

I feel this post is relevant because I'm approaching 30 and she's the first girl in 6 years that I feel I could have a lasting relationship with.

 

 

is she the one who came with you to zool?

[awepittance]

if it's any consolation prize, at least 2 of the Warp sub forum artists (1/2 of AE and RDJ) have been through a divorce, one after having a kid.

 

and sorry if my first post was insensitive or just outright pedo, i actually know (although not very well) 3 pretty prominent bay area musicians who are 40+ that talk about having kids to prospective mates, they are single but continually draw in girls who are at that child bearing window (25-35) into intense but short lasting relationships. It's a cycle i've seen repeat itself multiple times. And no it won't solve anything to date a much younger girl and dangle the possibility of children in front of her (unless you fancy yourself an emotionally destructive sociopath), so this post is basically pointless.

Edited December 10, 2012 by Awepittance

[Guest Iain C]

I was dating a girl recently that I really liked, but I fucked it up because I say shitty things when I'm drunk.

 

The trick in my experience is to find someone who'll forgive you for the shitty things you say and do when drunk.

 

Or, in other words: if they can't handle you at your worst, they sure as hell don't deserve you at your best.

[Blir]

 

Funnily enough Kakapo I got some hope from the OP. Just the rogaine bit really. I'm losing my hair and it's fucking depressing. Widows peaking all over the place.

 

It's not great on the hairline, works better on the crown. Just slick it back, maybe a small ponytail, a Top Gun aviator jacket and some raybans.

 

 

Right, my crown is fine. So I guess I'm boned.

 

Raybans and aviator on order.

[jlobkob]

when you buy a leather jacket, don't go for a pilot-style jacket, they scream midlife-crisis.

go for something chique, like

http://www.belstaff.com

i think, when you're in a midlife-crisis, you shouldn't sit in a pub and be frustrated, but you should live your life and enjoy it. so waste some money on things you like, but don't think about the money, doesn't matter. just buy yourself what you always wanted to have.

a lot of people say: oh look at this guy, bought himself a sportscar, what a midlife-douche. but the truth is: the men who buy stuff like a sportscar won't feel empty inside, they just re-discovered the fun in life.

 

(since you're only 33, you could still start to go after awepittance's idea but bang girls from like 18-22)

[modey]

I'm 28 and I notice that my hair is thinning a bit at the front. I also keep having dreams about it being much worse than it is. Worst case scenario, I'll just start wearing hats ALL THE TIME.

I read an interesting longitudnal study that found much higher levels of life satisfaction in young, childless married couples than their rugrat-shackled contemporaries. This trend reversed after 50--couples with kids reported more life satisfaction than the childless folks.

I can see how this would be true in a 'normal' family situation. My parents are in their 50s and my 24-year old brother is still living with them, and still causing trouble all the time. To be fair, he's a lot better than he used to be (dealing hard drugs, owing people money etc) but he's still a nuisance. It's terrible to think about, but I wonder if my parents would be happier if he wasn't around.

 

 

[awepittance]

 

Worst case scenario, I'll just start wearing hats ALL THE TIME.

 

 

[keltoi]

i'm 38 and haven't ever owned a leather jacket before. can we see a pic of the jacket in question if possible? definite mine field.

 

were you prone to angst in your teens/developmental years kakapo? anyway, i enjoyed reaching that age where you just don't give a shit about peer pressure and societal expectations (for me this happened in my mid to late 20's). although saying that, since having a kid i'm under pressure (mostly from myself) to provide the best i possibly can for my family. having kids is amazing btw. a female's body clock/baby alarm goes off like big ben a minute past 30 years. unlike us dads who have to learn and adapt, it's a biological instinct for them to NEED children as well as the actual everyday 'being a mother' part.

[Bob Dylan]

He's just afraid of commitment and having kids. Nothing unusual.

[Rubin Farr]

Yeah if 33 is a crisis, what happens when u reach 40?

 

Also, if u don't want kids find a chick who likes anal. Lol

[BCM]

I worry about having kids. like, I want them but I can't afford them, don't own my house, and have no money to speak of. not a good recipe for having a kids imo...but I'm 35 so really feeling the pressure to procreate. fuck it, might have them when I'm 50.

[cichlisuite]

 

I was dating a girl recently that I really liked, but I fucked it up because I say shitty things when I'm drunk.

 

The trick in my experience is to find someone who'll forgive you for the shitty things you say and do when drunk.

 

Or, in other words: if they can't handle you at your worst, they sure as hell don't deserve you at your best.

 

What is this? Are you a Marilyn Monroe-type primadona? (that's her quote actually)

First you need to forgive yourself. Nothing is as settling as finding out that most shit that happens to you, is because of the made-up reflection of yourself that you build in relationships with others.

Now meditate on this for a while.

F-in' self-centered pricks.

[goDel]

 

Got confused post migraine and ended up wandering around Morrison's car park.

wander again and see if dogging is something that might cure your ails...

 

RE: goDel

...

 

Thanks for the long post. Really appreciate it.

 

What I don't really understand though, is why you're putting off having a kid with your wife. You say it like it's because of all the fun and freedom you two can still have, and you rationalise it with some research. But that is just silly, imo.

 

How happy are those past 50s people who had been "happier" because they didn't have kids, but now they have come to the conclusion they're unable to still raise some kids. And how good can you measure happiness anyways?

 

Sounds like a questionable study to me. And certainly not one which you should base your decisions on, imo.

 

Personally, I wouldn't search for consolation in studies like that. Biology just doesn't work that way. I could understand it if you would have said that your current financial outlook doesn't allow for you to take responsibility for an extra member to the family. And one which would produce lots of poop, sound and mayhem. And it would be more honest if that was the story you would have told your wife, imo. Sorry to put it so frank and all. But she is your wife. I would think she deserves better than some study. And quite honestly, I don't think she accepts that as an answer even though she may tell you otherwise. Probably your no is enough for her at this point, whatever your reasoning. But there comes a point where she will grow deeply unhappy, and you will feel responsible. If you two haven't reached that point already.

 

That comes from someone who's had one friggin date though. She's already deeply unhappy, and we haven't even started yet. F#cking emotional blackmail.

 

Still no sign from her though. I'm probably going to call her, just to make sure she's ok. I don't know what's going on at her side. She may not even like me. I don't know. Personally, it's still hard to believe she could have liked me anyways, but that's another story.

[luke viia]

We need a way to turn off those womernly biological clocks. Either that, or maybe men could start claiming a biological urge of our very own. "Sorry baby, nature calls - I must go now, to ravage as many fertile young women as my strength allows; I will return to you some day and we will raise the child you've always wanted."

 

Everyone wins, you see.

[Guest theSun]

at 24, i've always had a fascination with existence, time and death. i don't labor over what exactly those 3 things are anymore, but sometimes those old feelings just come up unexpectedly.

 

i was feeling a little sick and quite tired one evening last week where i had a sort of mini panic attack about death. i don't know if i've ever had a full fledged "panic attack", but i just had that sinking feeling, my body got hot and i just basically stressed out about the impossibility of truly understanding death.

 

this lasted only a few minutes, but at the end of it i was struck with a strong feeling that i want kids some day. myself and the gf (been together 8 years, have a house, basically my wife) have openly and honestly talked about kids, but we decided it's not really for us, at least right now. for her, i think it's more the idea of physically carrying babby/shooting it out of her vag, but the we're-not-ready-for-that-responsibility is definitely a factor too (i'm definitely not ready for the responsibility now).

 

i guess i just made this post so i can feel like an old man at 24 lol

Edited December 10, 2012 by theSun

[Guest theSun]

also i can never sleep the whole night now without taking a piss in the middle of it fml