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Midlife crisis


kakapo
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exactly. I did something similar in China. some youngster (even my former self) might have criticized me for being an older guy married to a younger woman, but just ignore the haters. I'm very happy, so is she (as far as I can tell), we have a baby on the way, and all is well with the world.

 

I wouldn't go so far as to say "American women are lame", but I think there is a downside to being conditioned somewhat by US society to "be outspoken." In fact most things in life can be solved by soft power, not yelling and lawsuits. This applies to both men and women, and not just in relationships, but in the workplace too. It took me quite a lot of living to figure that out (slow learner I guess).

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I wouldn't go so far as to say "American women are lame", but I think there is a downside to being conditioned somewhat by US society to "be outspoken." In fact most things in life can be solved by soft power, not yelling and lawsuits. This applies to both men and women, and not just in relationships, but in the workplace too. It took me quite a lot of living to figure that out (slow learner I guess).

 

 

How do you mean by "soft power"?

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I wouldn't go so far as to say "American women are lame", but I think there is a downside to being conditioned somewhat by US society to "be outspoken." In fact most things in life can be solved by soft power, not yelling and lawsuits. This applies to both men and women, and not just in relationships, but in the workplace too. It took me quite a lot of living to figure that out (slow learner I guess).

 

 

How do you mean by "soft power"?

 

 

passive aggressiveness :cisfor:

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lol...

 

hopefully not...I guess I mean the art of persuasion as opposed to conflict. After living overseas for a bit I do see the US as being more aggressive than it needs to be. Big news I know. The upside is idealism and "straight talk", but the downside is oversimplification of issues and bellicosity.

 

How this relates to relationships...I think some women and men place too much importance on opinions, politics, appearance, taste in movies and music, etc. Apart from not being a total slob, none of that stuff really matters. For example. Was recently talking with my (Chinese) wife and she said something like "I could never date a black person." I was startled for a split second by the thought "Hmm, I married a wacist!" But then I just did a mental shrug. I know she's a sweetie and that opinion is just some weird useless mental offshoot, not vindictive. Said totally blithely, without any conception of racial politics and baggage. I could overlook it. I think that willingness to overlook should apply to a lot of things. Yet we're encouraged to label and judge quite a bit in the West. Instead, should search for the common ground, there's quite a bit of it (said the guy who blasted Israel in a recent thread).

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Yeah, I completely agree with you there about overlooking stuff.

On a similar note, I've recently been flirting it up with an Indian girl at work. I talking to my mum about it and she said "Why don't you go out with her?" (she's currently taken) and I said "I doubt her family would approve, she's Indian!" (this wasn't an ignorant statement, her family have previously not approved of her dating non-Indian guys) and my mum said "Oh then I don't approve. Why can't you go out with a nice white girl?"

 

Sounds horrific, right? I found it funny and called her a massive racist but she insisted to the contrary and I believe her. Mum's a midwife and a lot of her friends and coworkers are of various backgrounds, but her statement came from a place of tradition and fear of change to some level so it didn't feel appropriate to get on my liberal soapbox and start shouting at her. Tolerance is a very important trait, if everybody on both sides of any issue had more tolerance I think the world would be a better place.

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yep. carpentry skills (for building your own love shack in south america) brush up on knowledge needed for growing some crops (in south america)

If you don't already know, then learn how to raise chickens, donkeys a few lamas. How to gut the chickens for cooking etc.

 

you could even have some cocoa plants and stuff, you are your lovely hot blooded sexy south american lady.

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you could skip the donkeys and just make them out of the fur of the llamas, bald llamas and makeshift donkeys.

 

Or llama as a pet and donkeys for (slow) transportation

 

you don't want anything going too fast in your midlife crisis rehab south american farm/zoo

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Anyway, after talking to that co-worker a lot, I noticed what he was saying about the unrealistic sense of entitlement so many American woman have, and how they aren't willing to meet you halfway or see what you are about. They want to have fun, but usually don't have any sense of adventure or willingness to create fun themselves. They want to be swept off their feet or some bullshit. Like 75% of the time when you are casually flirting with a girl, she will get scared, not in a rapey way, but in a "uh oh something might actually happen and my routine might be disrupted" way. I'm not the least bit bad looking or awkward either. But I have dated a Brazilian girl and noticed a big difference. She actually made plans for us.

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I want a litter of pygmy lemurs. When In public, I will take one out of my jacket pocket and feed it figs. I might not meet girls this way, but it's worth a shot.

 

O3NDm.jpg

 

lhixn.jpg

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