stupid first world achievements and successes

[drillkicker]

I just started the best job I've ever had.  All I do is have fun with cool people, and get paid to do extremely easy work with a lot of downtime on the clock.

[ignatius]

21 minutes ago, drillkicker said:

I just started the best job I've ever had.  All I do is have fun with cool people, and get paid to do extremely easy work with a lot of downtime on the clock.

does it make your butthole sore? 

srsly though congrats. glad you found a good gig. 

[drillkicker]

1 hour ago, ignatius said:

does it make your butthole sore?

[chenGOD]

On 6/12/2021 at 12:24 PM, user said:

Through coincidence I’ve found that it’s a lot easier for me to control the severe road rage I suffer during my daily commute by bicycle if I’m not listening to any music and also not wearing headphones. I’m not entirely sure why this is but it means a lot to me because every time I scream at another person part of me also dies a little. 

Could it be because you’re more focused on the ride and your surroundings, thus more easily able to avoid the number of complete idiots on the road, causing fewer situations where your life is at risk?

[YEK]

My exercise machine, elliptical, broke down and I received the part in the mail. Pretty easily repaired. It was like a roller thing basically like changing wheels on a skateboard. Pretty proud of myself but also a bit of self doubt that I did it right.

[YEK]

I went on to some guy's tik tok live and he was eating cereal. I say, "captain crunch?".

He actually was eating captain crunch and he showed me the box.

He asked how I knew and I told him I heard the crunch.

Funniest shit ever. Lmao.

Edited June 17, 2021 by yekker

[milkface]

picked up some clothes up off the floor and a MASSIVE spider ran out and i caught it after a few minutes of chasing it and it's now trapped in a glass on my desk browsing watmm with me then i will kill it in a really horrible way. the spider told me to farnsworth react the post below this

[Wunderbar]

3 minutes ago, milkface said:

picked up some clothes up off the floor and a MASSIVE spider ran out and i caught it after a few minutes of chasing it and it's now trapped in a glass on my desk browsing watmm with me then i will kill it in a really horrible way. the spider told me to farnsworth react the post below this

what do the react emojis fransworth  and burger even mean.

[milkface]

4 minutes ago, Wunderbar said:

what do the react emojis fransworth  and burger even mean.

the spider reckons its sorta an expression of bewilderment or confusion or if something is kinda silly. i sort of agree but it might be high off of the deoderant fumes i've just hotboxed the glass with.

[dingformung]

ฉันเป็นมนุษย์ ฉันคือปีศาจ ฉันคือพระเจ้า. ฉันเป็นเทคโนโลยี ฉันเป็นละอองดาว ฉันเป็นสภาพอากาศ ฉันเป็นพายุ ฉันเป็นพายุ ฉันเป็นคนดูดขอบคุณ ฉันอยู่ที่นั่นเสมอ

[luke viia]

2 hours ago, milkface said:

picked up some clothes up off the floor and a MASSIVE spider ran out and i caught it after a few minutes of chasing it and it's now trapped in a glass on my desk browsing watmm with me then i will kill it in a really horrible way. the spider told me to farnsworth react the post below this

why kill?

[milkface]

2 hours ago, luke viia said:

why kill?

spiders are absolutely vile and need to be crushed on sight

[YEK]

5 hours ago, milkface said:

picked up some clothes up off the floor and a MASSIVE spider ran out and i caught it after a few minutes of chasing it and it's now trapped in a glass on my desk browsing watmm with me then i will kill it in a really horrible way. the spider told me to farnsworth react the post below this

I did the glass thing before and left it for about a week. When I picked it up the spider immediately ran and scared the crap out of me.

[Cryptowen]

they should sell pinatas full of thousands of spiders it'd be pretty funny

[Dragon]

15 hours ago, Cryptowen said:

they should sell panties full of thousands of spiders it'd be pretty funny

 

[dingformung]

It'd be pretty

[zkom]

I was going to Google an image for that but then after a few seconds of thinking changed my mind

[drillkicker]

On 6/18/2021 at 6:21 PM, yekker said:

I did the glass thing before and left it for about a week. When I picked it up the spider immediately ran and scared the crap out of me.

Spiders are extremely efficient animals.  They're like sharks in that they use the bare minimum energy to stay alive in between meals, allowing them to chill for unbelievable amounts of time with no food.  That spider has probably gone longer than a week with no food before.  This is part of why spiders are fucking awesome.

[Squee]

Spiders are fucking disgusting, but I would never kill one.

[YEK]

My friend is finally coming around to listening to electronic music. I've always played him stuff in the past and he has never shown much interest. Now he's listening to warp stuff a bit and I'm kinda pushing him in different directions. The main goal is to get him into aphex twin 

[drillkicker]

28 minutes ago, yekker said:

My friend is finally coming around to listening to electronic music. I've always played him stuff in the past and he has never shown much interest. Now he's listening to warp stuff a bit and I'm kinda pushing him in different directions. The main goal is to get him into aphex twin 

But aphex twin is just there to prepare you for autechre

[YEK]

1 hour ago, drillkicker said:

But aphex twin is just there to prepare you for autechre

Lol. I say that because Aphex Twin is my favorite musician but that would be cool... it's possible.

[ambermonk]

I made a big-ass pot of cowboy beans to share for lunch at work and everybody loved it, even the conservative types. It was also my first time making it. Ironic, considering I generally prefer a Japanese/Korean palate.

[dingformung]

I'm drunk and so are the drinks.

You think about it, you'll see that's true.

The drinks are drunk and I'm a lout.

I went to school but now I flunked out.

I've lost my job and so has everyone else.

Good luck.

[milkface]

Just landed myself a job at my local pub to help fund my third university year abroad in France starting this September!!!

Not a success but just a random additional thing - some new neighbours moved in and their 5 year old daughter is so adorable! I was chilling outside last Thursday and she came up to me and told me all about her day at school, what she had for lunch that day, what she was going to have for lunch on friday (fish and chips), that her friend went home because she hit her head in the playground, that her friend has a boyfriend, what lessons she had that day. It was so cute but I was trying so hard not to laugh cause she just wouldn't stop talking. Made me miss being a kid myself.