Rehab

[user]

So in a week or two I'm going to be admitted (out of my own free will) to a rehab facility for a week of detoxification to deal with alcohol dependency and various drug dependencies.

After this week treatment will continue on an outpatient basis in the form of counseling and some meds to suppress 'drug appetite'.

Anyone here who has any experience with clinical detoxing?

In some ways I'm relieved that it's finally going to happen but I'm also a little nervous as I'm not entirely sure what to expect, especially in terms of other patients. I'm an addict but not your typical junkie so to speak.

Hope this topic doesn't offend anyone and if anyone has questions, shoot.

 

[MadameChaos]

good for you! it's never too late to turn your life around. i've never been in rehab so can't give advice but just stick with it.

[BCM]

what drugs have you been consuming other than alcohol? and where did the idea originate from - I know you're going in of your own free will, but who first encouraged it?

 

[pattern recognition]

i've been to inpatient rehab for opium/opiates twice, with a 4 or 5 day stay in detox before each time. i also went to outpatient after both, plus outpatient two other times between the inpatient stays to try and kick. all of them were AA-based programs.

 

october 12 i'll be 4 years sober, but not because of rehab, or at least not because of AA.

 

i submitted a rather long post in the FWP thread a while back, i'll try to paste that here. i'd rather not write it again, but if i can't find it i will.

 

please ask questions, i wish i had known anything about what to expect the first time.

[Guest A/D]

I don't, but I admire you for going in yourself. Be well man.

[chim]

Good on ya mate

[Guest abusivegeorge]

In 2008 I spent one month in the Priory treatment centre, they didn't just detox me but placed me in the fellowships of AA and CA too. 6 months prior to going to the Priory I had been given a maximum of 6 months to live, having already suffered alcoholic liver failure. I was a "hopeless case". It didn't just save my life but gave me a quality of life I never though was possible! so go for it dude :-)!

[pattern recognition]

 

do some research on treatment facilities, from what i've read outpatient has been proven to be just as effective as inpatient, so you don't necessarily need to go away for a while. don't get railroaded into a treatment center or plan that's not right for you, find the one that you think is going to work for you, that fits your belief system. don't listen to anyone that says that a certain type of treatment (12 step, etc.) is the ONLY way you're going to get and stay sober because it's simply not true.

 

i've been to inpatient treatment twice, and outpatient several times (all 12-step, all for opium and/or opiates), and treatment can be a mixed bag. i wish i hadn't rushed into it, wish i had done some research first, but me and my wife were desperate, i was in rough shape. most of the people i was in with had been in inpatient rehab 4, 5, 6+ times. 12-step was not the way for me, and i don't believe in it, and don't practice it. but some people are alive because of it.

 

the most important thing i think , is to BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF. if you're not, you're only hurting you. that for me has been the key this time, i had enough of my own bullshit and was sick of feeling and living a shitty life. i've been sober for almost 4 years now, no alcohol or drugs of any kind, and my i love my life. actually i lied, i had gall bladder surgery, and took 1 vicodin later that day. but i'm in control of my life now.

 

my attitude with respect to treatment is take whatever you can from it that you can use or that helps you, and fuck the rest.

 

this book takes a good, fair look at the state of addiction treatment, at least in the u.s., i don't know what canada is like. she gives some good suggestions:

 

http://www.amazon.co...t/dp/0670025224

 

 

this doesn't cover what the actual treatment was like (at least for me), so if you have any other questions let me know, and i'll certainly relay my experiences.

 

i hope something helps. good luck, living with addiction is no way to live, i hope you come out the other end free of it.

[J3FF3R00]

I have no experience with that kind of thing, but good for you for making that decision!

I think a lot of people don't have the balls to make a positive change for themselves. You obviously do.

[Guest abusivegeorge]

With regards to the above post. I should also mention that the twelve step fellowships are not a monopoly on recovery, but they do have the largest number of recovered alcoholic/addicts (there is a survey taken each year from all of the fellowships, treatment centres, rehab centres and various other recovery programs and AA has the highest percentage consistently, they take a percentage rather than a per head as the volume of people attending the fellowships is greater). I have two friends who are real alcoholics and they've been sober nearly 30 years, they are happy and content with life and they have never set foot inside a 12 step meeting! Don't dismiss it though, as I said, it saved my life and I had tried EVERYTHING else. I've been in a few threads on here over the years and 12 step fellowships have come under scrutiny, don't rule it out without trying it yourself.

[pattern recognition]

With regards to the above post. I should also mention that the twelve step fellowships are not a monopoly on recovery, but they do have the largest number of recovered alcoholic/addicts (there is a survey taken each year from all of the fellowships, treatment centres, rehab centres and various other recovery programs and AA has the highest percentage consistently, they take a percentage rather than a per head as the volume of people attending the fellowships is greater). I have two friends who are real alcoholics and they've been sober nearly 30 years, they are happy and content with life and they have never set foot inside a 12 step meeting! Don't dismiss it though, as I said, it saved my life and I had tried EVERYTHING else. I've been in a few threads on here over the years and 12 step fellowships have come under scrutiny, don't rule it out without trying it yourself.

a recent book i read stated that recovery rates (in the u.s.) are nearly identical for most types of treatment (the one i referenced in my post), but i know you can't always believe everything you read, so that could be wrong. it is a thoroughly researched book, but i probably gravitated to it because i i felt like finally i was reading something that validated my experience, that you don't need AA (as i was constantly being told by AA members, they told me i would fail without it).

 

i definitely wasn't dismissing it, i know there are millions of people (like yourself) who are alive because of it.

 

i don't want to derail the thread, i apologize ussr. get some help, whatever it is! take care of yourself.

[user]

First of all; thanks for the kind and supportive reactions.

One of the slogans of the clinic I'll be treated at is "You're not responsible for your addiction but you are responsible for your recovery". A statement I don't entirely agree with as for a large part I feel it's my own damn fault getting into this so it's good to hear some positive reactions.

 

what drugs have you been consuming other than alcohol? and where did the idea originate from - I know you're going in of your own free will, but who first encouraged it?

 

I've been heavily abusing amphetamines for about 5 years, at first it was mainly a sort of utilitarian drug for me that enabled me to work long days, party all weekend and still show up for work on Monday. Obviously this can only go on for so long, took me about 4 years to 'crash', got depressed quit my job and started making an even greater mess of things.

I started treatment for my depression but continued using (this was about 2 years ago) amphetamines almost daily, sleeping about 24 hours per week and spending the rest of the time doing whatever. Obviously a very bad idea but I was convinced my drug use was not the main cause of my psychological problems as I'd been depressed before becoming a user.

Then at the beginning of last year I got heavily into cocaine, doing anywhere between 4-12 grams per week.

This year I started another treatment for my psych. issues and was more open about my usage (I'd hinted at it before but the Dr. I was seeing at the time didn't follow up with any questions so I left it at that).

My usage continued however, doing amphetamines whenever they were available and cocaine about every other day which recently has evolved into smoking crack after getting the idea I might as well cook the powder myself.

Beside the cocaine/alcohol dependency and the amphetamine abuse there's now also a heavy benzodiazepine dependency which I've been taking on prescription for about half a year now.

 

The first encouragement came from the people who are currently treating me, they indicated that treatment is much less effective if my substance abuse continues as it is. Of course they right and it seems very reasonable to ask someone who's asking for psychological help to stop behavior that's damaging before going into serious further treatment. So I took the opportunity and sort of look forward to getting mentally and physically fit again.

 

 

TLDR; Amphetamines, cocaine and benzo's.

 

i've been to inpatient rehab for opium/opiates twice, with a 4 or 5 day stay in detox before each time. i also went to outpatient after both, plus outpatient two other times between the inpatient stays to try and kick. all of them were AA-based programs.

 

october 12 i'll be 4 years sober, but not because of rehab, or at least not because of AA.

 

i submitted a rather long post in the FWP thread a while back, i'll try to paste that here. i'd rather not write it again, but if i can't find it i will.

 

please ask questions, i wish i had known anything about what to expect the first time.

 

Wow, that's impressive, I can't imagine having to try to kick an opiate addiction. Done some opiates but (luckily) they're not easily obtainable.

What was it that, besides sheer willpower, did manage to keep you sober if it wasn't AA? And what are your criticisms of the program? (I won't be following AA btw).

 

Can't think of too many questions at the moment as I'm also really not sure what to expect yet, I've about a 2 week wait before I can be admitted so there's some time for preparation ;-)

Any things you wish you'd brought that you didn't? I plan on bringing my laptop for music and a bunch of books. Am a bit afraid of listening to music/reading things that might trigger a strong lust for not being sober though.

 

In 2008 I spent one month in the Priory treatment centre, they didn't just detox me but placed me in the fellowships of AA and CA too. 6 months prior to going to the Priory I had been given a maximum of 6 months to live, having already suffered alcoholic liver failure. I was a "hopeless case". It didn't just save my life but gave me a quality of life I never though was possible! so go for it dude :-)!

 

Remember reading your story a few years back (long time lurker) and being quite moved by it and also impressed by your willpower. Alcohol is basically the least of my problems as I can still go for quite some time without having to have a drink and I drink the most when I'm high on something else.

You've probably heard this a thousand times before but it's hard how alcohol is socially accepted and available everywhere and used to celebrate about anything. You play a lot of pool now right? My intake doc said I might be able to drink socially again in a year or so as it looks like my liver is pretty much okay but trying to think short term for now.

 

Once again thanks for the replies and sorry for the ridiculously long post but it feels sort of good to vent a bit more.

[user]

 

 

do some research on treatment facilities, from what i've read outpatient has been proven to be just as effective as inpatient, so you don't necessarily need to go away for a while. don't get railroaded into a treatment center or plan that's not right for you, find the one that you think is going to work for you, that fits your belief system. don't listen to anyone that says that a certain type of treatment (12 step, etc.) is the ONLY way you're going to get and stay sober because it's simply not true.

 

i've been to inpatient treatment twice, and outpatient several times (all 12-step, all for opium and/or opiates), and treatment can be a mixed bag. i wish i hadn't rushed into it, wish i had done some research first, but me and my wife were desperate, i was in rough shape. most of the people i was in with had been in inpatient rehab 4, 5, 6+ times. 12-step was not the way for me, and i don't believe in it, and don't practice it. but some people are alive because of it.

 

the most important thing i think , is to BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF. if you're not, you're only hurting you. that for me has been the key this time, i had enough of my own bullshit and was sick of feeling and living a shitty life. i've been sober for almost 4 years now, no alcohol or drugs of any kind, and my i love my life. actually i lied, i had gall bladder surgery, and took 1 vicodin later that day. but i'm in control of my life now.

 

my attitude with respect to treatment is take whatever you can from it that you can use or that helps you, and fuck the rest.

 

this book takes a good, fair look at the state of addiction treatment, at least in the u.s., i don't know what canada is like. she gives some good suggestions:

 

http://www.amazon.co...t/dp/0670025224

 

 

this doesn't cover what the actual treatment was like (at least for me), so if you have any other questions let me know, and i'll certainly relay my experiences.

 

i hope something helps. good luck, living with addiction is no way to live, i hope you come out the other end free of it.

 

 

Thanks for this, and the book recommendation.

The part about being honest with yourself is very recognizable for me, even at this early stage. I've been lying to myself for so long, and other people which I feel even worse about, and am finally starting to realize that if that doesn't stop there's no way thing will ever get back on track.

I'm in the Netherlands btw, AA and NA are also active here but I'm going to follow a treatment at Jellinek, they also offer a 12 step program but for me it's going to be the detox and then some cognitive behavioural therapy sessions probably augmented with some meds to suppress the lust for getting high.

 

 

 

 

i don't want to derail the thread, i apologize ussr. get some help, whatever it is! take care of yourself.

 

 

Feel free to post whatever you want, it's good to hear things from people who have some actual experience, this goes for anyone who feels like contributing.

Maybe we can even get a rolling lol going at some point.

[fenton]

I've only done state funded rehab, which is pretty basic. My word on the matter is 1 week?

 

In 1 week you will be going through withdrawal and probably be mentally unstable to the point of not knowing wtf is going on, can you do longer there or does life/finance dictate that is the longest?

 

Maybe taper down a lot before entering, that is, if you are currently still drinking/drugging a whole lot.

You don't want to waltz out of 'hab 7 days later and go straight back to society and get in a mess if you can avoid it.

[fenton]

I'm saying this because I am liable to lie during outpatient treatment and it's only when I am somewhere safe that I actually behave.

 

I did a number on the medication they were giving me and everything. You can't underestimate how lying/junky tendencies will prevail over sense when you are mentally unsound from withdrawal/psychosis/illness.

[calx]

Good for you, it sounds like you're making a positive step.

 

I've been trying to get help for my dad for years now, he's an alcoholic although he can go months without a drink until he has a binge. He's been diagnosed with acute anxiety disorder. What we've come to realise is that he needs another way in which he can deal with his anxieties before he goes down his usual escape route. That's pretty much where we're at in a nutshell.

 

That may sound easy but it's taken is many years to understand it properly.

 

My advice would be, be open an honest, there are a lot of people out there who want to help you be healthy and happy but you'll need to tell them how you feel. Keep well.

[user]

I've only done state funded rehab, which is pretty basic. My word on the matter is 1 week?

 

In 1 week you will be going through withdrawal and probably be mentally unstable to the point of not knowing wtf is going on, can you do longer there or does life/finance dictate that is the longest?

 

Maybe taper down a lot before entering, that is, if you are currently still drinking/drugging a whole lot.

You don't want to waltz out of 'hab 7 days later and go straight back to society and get in a mess if you can avoid it.

 

It's one week of detox and after about a month of counseling.

The main reason for this is that I also want to start treatment for my depression and also possible personality disorder but have to become clean before they'll let me start therapy, I completely understand this but want to start therapy as soon as possible so have opted for a quick rehab.

 

I've voluntarily agreed to urine tests during the counseling which will last for at least a few months, if my piss is positive for any drug my therapy will stop immediately and I go back to square one, this feels like a pretty good incentive to stay clean.

 

Currently I'm still going pretty strong on the drink and drugs, main excuse being that I won't be able to anymore in a week or two.

Typical addict reasoning, I know. Thanks for the advice though.

 

Did you have bad withdrawal? I've always understood crack isn't physically addictive, my main fear is the benzo withdrawal but they'll slowly taper the dosage.

 

Good for you, it sounds like you're making a positive step.

 

I've been trying to get help for my dad for years now, he's an alcoholic although he can go months without a drink until he has a binge. He's been diagnosed with acute anxiety disorder. What we've come to realise is that he needs another way in which he can deal with his anxieties before he goes down his usual escape route. That's pretty much where we're at in a nutshell.

 

That may sound easy but it's taken is many years to understand it properly.

 

My advice would be, be open an honest, there are a lot of people out there who want to help you be healthy and happy but you'll need to tell them how you feel. Keep well.

 

Sounds like a difficult situation but in my opinion the realization he's self-medicating for an underlying psychological issue is a very important first step towards improvement, as long as he's also able to see/admit this.

My dad's been an alcoholic for as long as I can remember, though he's 'functional' I'm concerned for his health and have made a few attempts to getting him to stop or at least lower his intake so I can sort of relate to your situation.

 

Thanks for the sound advice, working very hard on being honest, it's very difficult but have been doing pretty ok so far.

Good luck with your dad!

[impakt]

Never been to rehab, but I've quit alcohol at least(6+ months!). I'm about to try to detox myself and cut back a bit on the drugs too. It's gone overboard.

[LimpyLoo]

 

Did you have bad withdrawal? I've always understood crack isn't physically addictive, my main fear is the benzo withdrawal but they'll slowly taper the dosage.

 

 

 

 

Crack is probably the most addictive thing on the planet.

[calx]

 

 

I've only done state funded rehab, which is pretty basic. My word on the matter is 1 week?

 

In 1 week you will be going through withdrawal and probably be mentally unstable to the point of not knowing wtf is going on, can you do longer there or does life/finance dictate that is the longest?

 

Maybe taper down a lot before entering, that is, if you are currently still drinking/drugging a whole lot.

You don't want to waltz out of 'hab 7 days later and go straight back to society and get in a mess if you can avoid it.

It's one week of detox and after about a month of counseling.

The main reason for this is that I also want to start treatment for my depression and also possible personality disorder but have to become clean before they'll let me start therapy, I completely understand this but want to start therapy as soon as possible so have opted for a quick rehab.

 

I've voluntarily agreed to urine tests during the counseling which will last for at least a few months, if my piss is positive for any drug my therapy will stop immediately and I go back to square one, this feels like a pretty good incentive to stay clean.

 

Currently I'm still going pretty strong on the drink and drugs, main excuse being that I won't be able to anymore in a week or two.

Typical addict reasoning, I know. Thanks for the advice though.

 

Did you have bad withdrawal? I've always understood crack isn't physically addictive, my main fear is the benzo withdrawal but they'll slowly taper the dosage.

Good for you, it sounds like you're making a positive step.

 

I've been trying to get help for my dad for years now, he's an alcoholic although he can go months without a drink until he has a binge. He's been diagnosed with acute anxiety disorder. What we've come to realise is that he needs another way in which he can deal with his anxieties before he goes down his usual escape route. That's pretty much where we're at in a nutshell.

 

That may sound easy but it's taken is many years to understand it properly.

 

My advice would be, be open an honest, there are a lot of people out there who want to help you be healthy and happy but you'll need to tell them how you feel. Keep well.

Sounds like a difficult situation but in my opinion the realization he's self-medicating for an underlying psychological issue is a very important first step towards improvement, as long as he's also able to see/admit this.

My dad's been an alcoholic for as long as I can remember, though he's 'functional' I'm concerned for his health and have made a few attempts to getting him to stop or at least lower his intake so I can sort of relate to your situation.

 

Thanks for the sound advice, working very hard on being honest, it's very difficult but have been doing pretty ok so far.

Good luck with your dad!

Thanks man! Likewise :)

 

I log on most days, if things ever feel like they're getting on top or you just want to chat about stuff, drop me a pm. Sometimes it helps just getting another perspective on things.

[Guest A/D]

Honesty is the best drug, it's awesome as you slowly see how pointless it was to lie to yourself & others for all that time. It's as addictive as lying but simpler and way more fun. You meet cooler people, too.

 

Before I started therapy, I had some good success treating my own depression as though it were an addiction. So although I've never been through a program for addicts I've treated myself like one and it's been very productive. However I've realized that I need an outside voice reminding me how to take care of myself. Being the doctor and the patient can get messy. It was extremely tough for me to admit that but I'm so glad I did, even only a month in to the process.

[fenton]

I had a lot of withdrawal symptoms which were more related to my sudden shocking sobriety - i.e. panic attacks/depression.

 

I had minor withdrawal symptoms from the drugs/booze - i.e. cold sweats, strange dreams, heart palpitations form the panic.

 

 

But it is quite a shock when you realise all the feelings that you have been medicating to avoid that only really last chronically for the first week or so before your body and mind start adjusting slowly.

 

I had to take herbal pills from the chemist that calmed my panic and anxiety, literally i wouldn't have been able to cope, and would not be well today without them and the one or two nights I demanded a sleeping pill to nod off...

 

I am in more control now, and much less unpredictable to myself now I know how to acknoledge triggers and turn off the bad behaviour.

 

Tomorrow I start a month off everything [no booze fags or drugs] for charity https://www.gosober.org.uk/profile/jackfenton <- sponder me here if you are rich.

 

I know I can do it as ever since my stint in 'hab I have spent a far larger proportion of my life sober. For a change.

 

I prepared for the month by taking the last 7 days clean and dry, so it's not going to be a mega shock for me. Actually looking forward to it.

 

Any temptation I had to have a large blow-out bender before I started I put off, just not a good idea to try and start something positive by doing something negative - and then shocking my system too much.

 

 

Maybe think about preparing your body and mind before entering so you don't have what I had in my 1st week in the center, it was torturous and knowing this I would definitely do it different.

 

But you do whatever you want, do it well, and good luck, godspeed!

[LimpyLoo]

 

 

But it is quite a shock when you realise all the feelings that you have been medicating to avoid that only really last chronically for the first week or so before your body and mind start adjusting slowly.

 

 

 

Yeah this is truly a strange phenomenon, the emotional unclogging that happens immediately upon detoxing. It is like the purest definition of catharsis, as if one is purging emotional toxins along with the literal ones. I wish I understood this better.

[user]

Thanks man! Likewise :)

 

I log on most days, if things ever feel like they're getting on top or you just want to chat about stuff, drop me a pm. Sometimes it helps just getting another perspective on things.

 

 

That's very kind of you, thanks. Probably gonna take you up on that offer at some point.

 

Anyway, a small update.

I'm almost at the end of the first week, which was supposed to be the entire detox but we decided to extend it to two weeks to make the benzo transition a bit smoother.

Things have been rough but the benefits of being sober are definitely starting to show.

Mood swings are becoming less intense and I'm starting to feel more human and sharp every day.

The only thing that's slightly disappointing is that my craving for crack seems to be getting worse every day instead of decreasing.

But there's another 8 days ahead of me in a save environment and I'm going to do my best to stay motivated when I get out, and of course I'll have support in the form of counselling.

[user]

I had a lot of withdrawal symptoms which were more related to my sudden shocking sobriety - i.e. panic attacks/depression.

 

I had minor withdrawal symptoms from the drugs/booze - i.e. cold sweats, strange dreams, heart palpitations form the panic.

 

 

But it is quite a shock when you realise all the feelings that you have been medicating to avoid that only really last chronically for the first week or so before your body and mind start adjusting slowly.

 

I had to take herbal pills from the chemist that calmed my panic and anxiety, literally i wouldn't have been able to cope, and would not be well today without them and the one or two nights I demanded a sleeping pill to nod off...

 

I am in more control now, and much less unpredictable to myself now I know how to acknoledge triggers and turn off the bad behaviour.

 

Tomorrow I start a month off everything [no booze fags or drugs] for charity https://www.gosober.org.uk/profile/jackfenton <- sponder me here if you are rich.

 

I know I can do it as ever since my stint in 'hab I have spent a far larger proportion of my life sober. For a change.

 

I prepared for the month by taking the last 7 days clean and dry, so it's not going to be a mega shock for me. Actually looking forward to it.

 

Any temptation I had to have a large blow-out bender before I started I put off, just not a good idea to try and start something positive by doing something negative - and then shocking my system too much.

 

 

Maybe think about preparing your body and mind before entering so you don't have what I had in my 1st week in the center, it was torturous and knowing this I would definitely do it different.

 

But you do whatever you want, do it well, and good luck, godspeed!

 

Sounds like you're making some very good decisions, and I've got a lot of admiration for your strength being sober for the week before your admittance.

 

 

 

 

But it is quite a shock when you realise all the feelings that you have been medicating to avoid that only really last chronically for the first week or so before your body and mind start adjusting slowly.

 

 

 

Yeah this is truly a strange phenomenon, the emotional unclogging that happens immediately upon detoxing. It is like the purest definition of catharsis, as if one is purging emotional toxins along with the literal ones. I wish I understood this better.

 

 

I'm not clear minded enough to go into this at the moment (still on quite some diazepam) but this is definitely a strange and interesting phenomenon. Even on short term the effects are quite discernible.