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To All Creatives Out There - Clients From Hell


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http://clientsfromhell.net/

 

Holy shit I feel for these people:

 

ME: Alright, I’ve looked over your business proposal. I agree that there is some editing to be done so that it appears more professional. Here is an outline of the work I’ll do, a timeline estimate, and a cost estimate.

CLIENT: Go ahead and do the work you outlined. The timeline estimation works for me as well.

ME: How about the price? Do we officially agree on that number?

The client doesn’t reply to the email. I resend. Again, no reply.

ME: I’d like to have a full agreement in place before I get started, since we’re doing this all through e-mail.

CLIENT: Do the work, and then we’ll discuss the price.

ME: Would you like a two-page sample to give you an idea of my work before we confirm the price?

CLIENT: Just do the work, get it back to me, I’ll review it, and if it’s what I want, then we can talk price.

ME: I think we might be having a bit of a communication problem, so let’s be clear. You want me to do the work, send the edited copy back to you, and then we’ll discuss and agree on the price?

CLIENT: Yes, that’s how it works.

ME: I’m a little uncomfortable with that. I don’t mind if you pay me in installments, or half now-half when complete, but it’s a little too much to ask for me to finish the project before I have any guarantee that I’ll be paid the amount I’m asking, or any amount at all.

CLIENT: Well, you won’t be paid if I don’t like what you’ve done.

ME: All I’d be doing is editing for technical issues such as typos, grammar, sentence clarity, and suggesting any structural changes. It’s a straight-forward edit, which is why I’d like to set a fixed price.

CLIENT: I want to see the finished work before we discuss payment.

ME: I want to discuss payment before I start the project.

"How come the website doesn’t look as nice as the design proofs your agency sent us?"

Attached to the email is a screenshot of the website in Windows 98 - IE6 - 800x600

CLIENT: The background is baby blue! I want business! American bank blue! Like Bank of America!

After many variations of royal blue, I even tried sending her a screenshot of the design next to Bank of America’s logo to prove that I was lifting the exact color off their logo.

CLIENT: I want royal blue! NOT BABY BLUE! This looks an ad for infants clothing!

(By the way, this is an open house event for her business management classes)

CLIENT: You know what, just make it navy blue, navy blue is a very dark blue.

I send it to her with a navy background

CLIENT: This is still baby blue!

In desperation, I send a gradient of navy to black

CLIENT: You finally have blue on the bottom but the top is still too light

"You are obviously only in this for the money; it’s obvious by how desperate you are for a budget before starting work. And if you’re that desperate, you should be willing to take on any job, pay or not."

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CLIENT: I need a search engine like google.com. Can you handle something like that?


ME: Yes, but it’s going to be expensive. May I ask what kind of budget you have in mind?


CLIENT: Budget is not a problem. I have ample resources.


ME: Can you give me a ballpark figure?


He names a figure. It is not very ample.


ME: I’m afraid that’s not going to be anywhere near enough for a project of this scope.


CLIENT: This is a good budget for a two-page website. Google is simply a search box with a second page of results. And those results are from other sites! Heck, it could be done in half this budget, but I was trying to be generous.


276253_Papel-de-Parede-Meme-Jackie-Chan_


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I'm not a "creative" but I work in a support capacity so I can completely understand y'all pain. fuck working for other people, is what I'm feeling these days.

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CLIENT: “I don’t like the type.”

 

ME: “What don’t you like.”

 

CLIENT: “I don’t like how it goes all to one side.”

 

ME: “You mean ranged left.”

 

CLIENT: “Yes, yes, arranged left.”

 

ME: “How do you want it?”

 

CLIENT: “To be the same on both sides.”

 

ME: “Justified?”

 

CLIENT: “I don’t have to justify anything for you. I own the fucking company.”

 

 

I've had this happen more times than I can remember.

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