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Random Encounters IRL


ambermonk

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Was looking out my window and about 3 birds were all making passes at this one bird and each time they would get close, the one bird with do a flip or it would fly upside down for a second. The 3 birds would take turns doing this. Guess it was a mating thing?

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recently there's this bird that flies about making this irregular squaking sound with occasional burst sounds kinda like something whooshing right past your ear, even if you're just chilling inside like a mofo. after a couple days of this i was finding it very hard to concentrate or sleep with this thing flying around my neighborhood. I asked my uncle, who is well into birds, "wtf?" and he said the culprit is a nighthawk. these used to be more common but one hardly encounters them in chicago nowadays. so now I'm all like "fucking lush a nighthawk" and I feel depressed i haven't heard him in a few days.

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The other day I went for a walk in the middle of the night and sat on a park bench, when 2 hedgehogs came out of the bushes and starting trying to have sex. They didn't even notice me so I could a get view of them. The female changed her mind like every 10 seconds and the male was completely exhausted after like 3 minutes but they kept trying for another 5 or so.

 

Love the idea of this thread.

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The other day I jokingly placed an add on facebook for some shorts i was given with a 54 inch waist.

 

I got a reply offering $1.5 for them so accepted it. The photo looked like a man.

 

They never showed up, despite stating they did.

 

So we rescheduled and the next day SHE did come. She was a 30-40 year old large Cambodian woman and I decided to give her the short for free as long as she gave me something in return. She gave me a key fob and thanked me a lot.

 

Now she is PMing me on facebook that she misses me and loves me.

 

I have told her I'm married. She hasn't responded yet.

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aww ... I imagining a scene that you would paste in the cute pictures thread.

It looked a bit like this

 

bubyha7u.jpg

 

 

He's got a buttercup coming out of his arse. That's not how i imagined it at all !

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I was GPS surveying a couple day ago, which involves me holding a rod perfectly plumb and still for a couple minutes over a property pin, and I realized a giant fucking spider walked up my body and onto my chest. I was like "dude, no, c'mon man" and knocked him off without killing him.

 

My co-worker hunts Native American arrowheads and last week at a work-site he was like "ah, flint, some arrowheads might be nearby" and sure enough in the middle of work he paused, said "there's one" and picked up a half-broken arrowhead from like 6 feet away among a pile of rocks. Was fucking awesome to me, he acted so casual about it. He has like 50 pristine ones and he found all of them.

 

Today my wife videotaped some grackels she saw, and one was feeding another. One like yelled at the other and he was like "pssh, fine" and he threw food to the other guy. Both adult birds and not mating or anything. It was like a panhandler bird approaching a yuppie bird.

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Overheard while walking in the streets of Soho, from 3 young, slightly posh looking guys, probably early college years:

 

 

Guy 1: What's your favourite category?

Guy 2 & 3 (in unison): Gloryholes.

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I was crossing the street slightly behind two dude bros when a young woman was hailing a cab on the other side. cab came, woman starts to get in and one of the bros says "nice ass." just as she turns to see who just said it the bros veered off which meant that now I was walking right toward her so she gives me the evil eye and calls me an asshole. I was like "no...but...the bros...." and she slammed the door. lol

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cab came

can't blame it

 

she did have a nice ass amirite

 

thats what i was getting at

 

stop obliterating context and handing me a ton of new parameters for a sec, sheesh louise

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I saw someone I know at a train station peepee area today. Whilst urinating, I yelled his name. He did not notice. He was looking sharper than usual (nice pink shirt, hair done-ish), which made me pointlessly daydream for like a second that he was up to some dodgy bizniz. Thoughts of "affair", etc., came to mind. Thinking back on it, basically my brain was telling me, "He looks suspiciously better than usual."

 

What the hell am I thinking- I need to sort my shit out.

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I saw someone I know at a train station peepee area today. Whilst urinating, I yelled his name. He did not notice. He was looking sharper than usual (nice pink shirt, hair done-ish), which made me pointlessly daydream for like a second that he was up to some dodgy bizniz. Thoughts of "affair", etc., came to mind. Thinking back on it, basically my brain was telling me, "He looks suspiciously better than usual."

 

What the hell am I thinking- I need to sort my shit out.

lool

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Yesterday, a homeless woman thought it suitable to lie on the ground and splay her legs apart on a busy city sidewalk. She was wearing no pants, no underwear, and I nearly threw away the doughnuts I had just bought.

 

She had a bit of period blood dried to her thighs

 

#sanfrancisco

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cab came

can't blame it
she did have a nice ass amirite
thats what i was getting at

 

stop obliterating context and handing me a ton of new parameters for a sec, sheesh louise

lol

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Dunno if this is the right thread to post it in, but stumbled upon some surprising news. On my local news Facebook page, a guy I used to work with at the ski slope about three years ago just got a 15-year jail sentence for sexually assaulting two girls in a hospital. He was an EMT for Ski Patrol when I last met him.

You kind of react differently when someone who makes the headlines happens to be an acquaintance.

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My co-worker hunts Native American arrowheads and last week at a work-site he was like "ah, flint, some arrowheads might be nearby" and sure enough in the middle of work he paused, said "there's one" and picked up a half-broken arrowhead from like 6 feet away among a pile of rocks. Was fucking awesome to me, he acted so casual about it. He has like 50 pristine ones and he found all of them.

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My co-worker hunts Native American arrowheads and last week at a work-site he was like "ah, flint, some arrowheads might be nearby" and sure enough in the middle of work he paused, said "there's one" and picked up a half-broken arrowhead from like 6 feet away among a pile of rocks. Was fucking awesome to me, he acted so casual about it. He has like 50 pristine ones and he found all of them.

 

In rural US, it's arrowhead collections. In rural UK, it's

[youtubehd]yfSnaY1Wp_U[/youtubehd]

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Today, I saw a hobo fighting an invisible dragon. It must have been a tough sumbitch too. He was at it for at least an hour.

 

The poor fella looked homeless, disheveled....definitely crazy. Wish I could help the guy out.

 

But I just can't see that damn dragon.

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