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Star Wars Episode VII *MAJOR SPOILERS*


Rubin Farr
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I was never huge into Star Wars vast Expanded Universe, read some of the novel adaptation via comic book mostly, but I was familiar with many of it's major characters...all of whom no longer "exist" anymore officially. It just dawned on me that Disney officially wiped the slate clean back in 2012 when it comes to canon.

its crazy that they 'wiped the canon' of the expanded universe but embraced the bottom of the barrel clone wars saga that came out of the prequel universe (yeah i know Obi wan mentions it in new hope, but no way he was mentioning something like what george lucas lazily thought of later). Red Letter Media did a great job on the recent speculation video of reinforcing how absurd it is that 'jedis have fallen into legend' already in Episode IV a new hope, when there was literally a giant building/temple in the middle of the city of their academy and library a mere 30 years prior. Remember that scene in New Hope where the guy in the star destroyer tells Darth Vadar he's too obsessed with 'ancient magic' or some shit, isn't that a weird thing to say for someone who probably was alive during the time when jedis using the force fought the clone wars? So not only does it not make sense for Luke and others to find jedis so mysterious in New Hope, it makes even less sense now in Force Awakens. The prequels irreparably fucked up the basic logic of the campy story Lucas originally laid out in the first trilogy. The real ballsy move would have been to erase both the prequel/clone wars universe and the expanded universe at the same time, otherwise its still extremely problematic

Edited by John Ehrlichman
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I was never huge into Star Wars vast Expanded Universe, read some of the novel adaptation via comic book mostly, but I was familiar with many of it's major characters...all of whom no longer "exist" anymore officially. It just dawned on me that Disney officially wiped the slate clean back in 2012 when it comes to canon.

its crazy that they 'wiped the canon' of the expanded universe but embraced the bottom of the barrel clone wars saga that came out of the prequel universe (yeah i know Obi wan mentions it in new hope, but no way he was mentioning something like what george lucas lazily thought of later). Red Letter Media did a great job on the recent speculation video of reinforcing how absurd it is that 'jedis have fallen into legend' already in Episode IV a new hope, when there was literally a giant building/temple in the middle of the city of their academy and library a mere 30 years prior. Remember that scene in New Hope where the guy in the star destroyer tells Darth Vadar he's too obsessed with 'ancient magic' or some shit, isn't that a weird thing to say for someone who probably was alive during the time when jedis using the force fought the clone wars? So not only does it not make sense for Luke and others to find jedis so mysterious in New Hope, it makes even less sense now in Force Awakens. The prequels irreparably fucked up the basic logic of the campy story Lucas originally laid out in the first trilogy. The real ballsy move would have been to erase both the prequel/clone wars universe and the expanded universe at the same time, otherwise its still extremely problematic

 

 

yeah the clone wars where literally just a random phrase picked as a narrative filler for the script, in fact as you assumed it wasn't until the prequels were written that anyone even taken a stab at it's plot, all the way up to 1997...so it easily could of been dismissed as a skirmish or battle if they had tried a different narrative. as a kid I always assumed that obi wan, yoda, and anakin were a very niche group, so much so that even as jedis they were something of an obscure, obsolete monk-ish order (....perhaps like the calvary and samurai who surely felt so out of place upon the 20th century). so in my mind I figured they were the very, very last of their kind, probably long excused from the Galactic senate, with the elderly Yoda being the only true connection to the Jedi at their heydey or power and influence. When Phantom Menace came out I was a bit baffled that it was really just 30 years prior myself and hoped everything would actually look older (style wise some stuff did - like the naboo fighters - but the CGI was just so lame and pretty) and the retcon bullshit he did with the original movies (like people cheering the defeat of the empire in ROTJ) was such a fucking scam. The EU plots before and after the battle of Yavin, before the prequels emerged, made the Empire and the occupied galaxy seem a lot more established, harsh, colder, and more overwhelming Therefore the trilogy really only serving as the climax of a very, very long war...like the D-Day of the galactic war, not the fucking finale.

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is it this one, or the shorter guys ...

 

 

this is perfect - watching now - i like that they flat out haven't done any research besides watching the trailers, that's where I am at too

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All that does bring up an interesting perspective as to how would information travel if you have literally hundreds of worlds of as many sentient beings sharing varying amounts of knowledge and culture for science, friendship, or trade. Would any random person (used loosely) know vast amounts of information about each and every one of those alien beings and worlds? Likely not. Maybe you know about the groups your peoples trade with most often or maybe there's a few key alien worlds that everyone sort of knows, but also maybe there's a few things that are talked about that are shrouded in mystery and kept out of the galactic encyclopedia but possibly true. I'd still say it's likely that some sort of pervasive power that can include the ability to levitate matter and shoot lightning bolts from fingertips and such would be hard to keep secret. But even then there are millions (perhaps billions) of grown ass humans on Earth that believe similarly ridiculous things with little to no evidence and believe it's a 'secret.'

Edited by auxien
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oh no.. stormtroopers with ghey lightsaber things fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Looks more like a staff or some extension on their rifles that is apparently able to deflect a lightsaber blade...

 

I think they are showing too much of the movie now - it will be interesting to see what % of the movie was revealed in the trailers/commercials afterwards.

 

LOL, did anyone see or read Vanity Fair's interview with George Lucas? Two words: butt. hurt.

http://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2015/11/george-lucas-star-wars-jar-jar-binks

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oh no.. stormtroopers with ghey lightsaber things fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

 

looks like a baton thing-y with some kind of shock/stun feature, pretty tactical and plausible imo: even modern soldiers still learn and utilize weapons like bayonets and e-tools in close quarter situations

 

now i can't say the actual lightsaber vs "ghey baton thingy" won't be ridiculously choreographed fight dancing

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All that does bring up an interesting perspective as to how would information travel if you have literally hundreds of worlds of as many sentient beings sharing varying amounts of knowledge and culture for science, friendship, or trade. Would any random person (used loosely) know vast amounts of information about each and every one of those alien beings and worlds? Likely not. Maybe you know about the groups your peoples trade with most often or maybe there's a few key alien worlds that everyone sort of knows, but also maybe there's a few things that are talked about that are shrouded in mystery and kept out of the galactic encyclopedia but possibly true. I'd still say it's likely that some sort of pervasive power that can include the ability to levitate matter and shoot lightning bolts from fingertips and such would be hard to keep secret. But even then there are millions (perhaps billions) of grown ass humans on Earth that believe similarly ridiculous things with little to no evidence and believe it's a 'secret.'

 

good point, considering the amount of proganda, echo chamber ideology and basic ignorance on our planet i can only imagine it's exponentially larger (arguably) in a fictional galactic setting

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yeah but from Revenge of the Sith to New Hope it still doesn't add up how the republic's headquarters were a major city/hub well known throughout the galaxy, at no point in Revenge does a character say that they needed to hide the entire existence of the Jedi, and even if you could speculate that happened (fanboy leap) it would have likely been impossible to cover up something of the magnitude of the jedi order there.

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yeah it's silly. but obviously works solely to tell 'their' story, ie, they don't give a fuck even about basic cannon and we should expect many derp, at least in the context of the prior essential history of the franchise. So in this sense i don't agree with red letter media entirely about the hitting poetic beats thing. Sure they will rip off from the formula that worked before and show it to this new generation largely underexposed to it, and sure they will keep the major themes intact. But their tact will be lacking when it comes to things that we see of as points of logic drawn from the base premise. This kind of thing doesn't compute in the mind of simpletons like oligarch princeling JJ abrams, and never will. I guess this was what red letter media were on about too.

 

nwae.

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oh no.. stormtroopers with ghey lightsaber things fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

looks like a baton thing-y with some kind of shock/stun feature, pretty tactical and plausible imo: even modern soldiers still learn and utilize weapons like bayonets and e-tools in close quarter situations

 

now i can't say the actual lightsaber vs "ghey baton thingy" won't be ridiculously choreographed fight dancing

Yes they seem similar to the battle staves the Magna Guards had in EPIII, it could deflect a lightsaber blade, but just barely.

 

F7A9B993-1B20-4B87-AF52-2B86E18CC856_zps

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omg lorl, now when i see that 'choose your side thing' (the link wants you to log in to google, probably for some themed experience based on either the light or dark side, i refuse googs sorry mate.) Anyway, whenever i see that slogan, i think about the colbert bit talking about some lipstick with the same star wars light side dark side sloganeering. In trying to reach the broadest of possible tie ins, they have .. nwae wotevfnor will ignore, it's oll a snor.

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It's rated PG-13, only EPIII achieved that, didn't think Disney would allow JJ to go so dark with a kid's movie at Xmas.

And why is it a secret that Kylo's shuttle has wings that tilt a little? It was in the damn trailer, but every single toy of the Command Shuttle has static wings that just extend a little, who cares? Yeah we get it, it's a reverse Shuttle Tyderium big whoop. I watched a YouTube vid where a guy painstakingly had to mod his LEGO shuttle just to get them to tilt a little, it's maybe like a 45 degree tilt, OMG spoiler! FFS

Also, does this cover look like he's saying "check out my giant blue wang" ? LOL

7A471672-3F2E-4E0E-81EA-24D287868B38_zps

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This force has a very masculine side, yes. Growing from the waiste outwards. Expending beyond personal boundaries. Creating microaggrassive electric sounds as it harasses the air it tries to penetrate.

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