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cygnus
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so i wake up on the bus, its 10am.. or 11? 12? 1? our bus driver is this guy named corey... i think. we're in seattle and i don't remember what streets exactly we're at. but i remember the last two nights in portland, and most of all my hangover. the hangover is a james cameron theme level of hangover. epic production hangover. i drank way too much the previous night. my heads ringing like a rotary phone. the first person i see is jamie, sean & robs sound guy in the front portion of the bus having a cup of coffee. and mark (the tour manager) is there too. i have to take a horrible shit, i can feel the hangover searching the dimensions of my guts like an octupus acquisitioning a seashell. i tell mark, "hey, i have to take a huge shit", "is there any place around". bus rules are you can't shit on the bus. you can pee but you cant take a shit.

 

corey hears me. tells me he's been here before. i look out of the windows of the bus and there's a large stadium. i even see a phone pole. on the phone pole there's a familiar sticker - the turqoise a black logo of the decilbel festival. with my name on it right next to autechre. im touring with autechre? im reminded of it all over again. panic attack sets in which ignites the volcanic shits,. corey says "theres a coffee shop 2 blocks that way, ill go with you" . me and corey leave the bus, the last thing i hear is mark before i hop off the bus - he says "hes in the full swing of the tour now" or something like that. mark is such a great guy

 

corey and i = walk to this donut shop. he goes and grabs a cup of coffee. im pretty much like "see you whenever this ends up in whatever way it does" and head to the bathroom. i finish up and come meet him at the cashier front . "ready to go?" he says, i say yes. an episode of that category wouldn't happen until the orlando, FL show. wait til i post about that one. we go back to the bus, walk the two blocks and rob b & rob h are outside . we talk for a bit, i go in the bus and i change, wash my face, brush my teeth. my brother texts me - i'm reading the text for reference from my phone right now "what's the password for the ___________" (having to do with my dads formerly owned business in dallas) i text him back, he returns with a thanks . i go back outside and sean, rob h and rob b are out there . i'm feeling refreshed,renewed, ready. 3 days in and im so comfortable, chill and relaxed, im intermittenly reminded that i'm on a musical tour and not just hanging out with friends

 

i dont know where rob h goes, but rob b and sean and i go to this lamp pole where there's a decibel festival poster up. take a picture. right after that sean had gone on the bus for some reason. rob and i have a good convo about mixing. im asking him< "when youre using max/msp, and there's lots of variables thrown in, lots of sounds and events that have their own autonomy, when you're setting the stage for variables ,uncontrolled events, how do you control that in terms of the total mix". rob gives me an answer that i dont understand. something about programming in max msp. he tells me, "you should give it a try". im reluctant after his answer. i have no idea how that type of things works. not that im stupid or anything, its just that im a complete fucking stupid dunce anti-jedi

 

we're back on the bus and jamie (sound guy) is watching a black and white movie on the tv . i go to my bunk and i call my girlfriend and im texting with her. its been 4 days since ive seen her but i miss her . she had been in seattle for a wedding not even a month before and was telling me how beautiful it was. she is from the northwest and living in texas she does nothing complain about the cold weather and the rain. im calling her out on her scam. "this is the coldest, wettest shit ive ever been in. this is like that one part in lord of the rings". i dont remember where we all had lunch that day. oh wait i think i know why

 

daniel troberg from elektron messages me on facebook about the seminar im going to do that afternoon at a venue close to the hotel decibal is having most of their events at. i have some persons number in my phone im supposed to call when i need a ride. i put on my hoodie and my hanal electro t-shirt cause i figure its going to be vidoetaped. some guy named greg picks me up, red headed northwesterner wearing plaid . absolute lego creature from portlandia with a beard. drops me off at the hotel. i see a person i somewhat recognize in the front of the hotel. wait hold on a second, who is that?

 

the venue is next door, i meet daniel troberg from elektron - hes one of the nicest humans ive ever met. even gives me one of those overbridge interfaces. we shake hands. im just going to be transparent with you all and tell you im high as the burj dubai at this point. im upstairs and its all elektron gear setup, theres people on there doing youtube auditions on their gear but i basically wrote half a fucking set on an analog keys & rytm. its time for the seminar/panel thing to happen, whatever

 

 

^^^^^^ the following events

 

i walk to the bar immediately afterward . i order 2 guinesses, a pickle + whiskey shot, i think a heineken too. im feeing great. im relaxed, slowed down. gears are spinning slower. im picked up by a cab for some reason and im taken back to the hotel where i meet sean b and rob h and another strange character who id spotted earlier. we're walking around loooking for something, i dont remember -

 

rob b says "well lets just go over to those couches over there and wait for a bit" - we sit down. this guy who's with us, his name is chris. im thinking ok i know this guy, i think, and i know his names chris, but how do i know who he is? i introduce myself , he says "so are you doing sound... sound engineering or are you performing" i say, "im supporting, im just supporting act for them this tour". he says , , Oh, "ok, cool, im chris, nice to meet you man".

 

ITS CHRIS CLARK

 

i try my best to contain the pants shitting - i keep my cool. its alright. well it was probably just fucking retarded because i just stayed completely silent for the rest of that scenario. i go to the bar and order a gin & tonic double. come back. sean and rob have some shit to do- i think an interview or something. they hop up and leave, im like yo ok, meet you at the venue later (the showbox? i think?) and im alone with chris clark. i rly dont want to give this guy the fucking 1millionth degree of fandom bullshit so i just finish my drink, we shake hands, tell him i'm a huge fan and i go and get a cab back to where the bus is. i dont remmeber much from this sequence of events. doesn't matter cause i wake up right on time and hte bus has magically teleported (aka driven) to right in front of the venue. the SHOWBOX. i catch a guy in the back of the venue shooting up heroin. nice . the venue is large, spacious, sound is good.

 

that night in i meet chris phillips (dunno what his watmm name is), ben f (dunno what his watmm name is), a lot others. right before i play. the audience reaction was fantastic - i felt it. backstage i remember, there was something about the green room. im trying to remember it. oh yeah, that night i had my own room - and i told my friend hal on text "hey man, i have my own fucking green room. look at this" and texted him a pic. he texted back, "you should take the sign off of the womens bathroom door and place it on your green room door" he is such a fucking primate

 

i remember at one point rob h and i in the green room chomping down on green room food (carrots, cauliflower,broccoli,tomatoes and ranch dressing) and just kind of staring at eachother in between mouthfuls trying to have a conversation about electro, electronic music, the correct pronunciation of english words. rob hall is totally like a big brother , he is like the kind of guy you'd hope to meet on a desert island if you were deserted . he is funny as fuck when he is drunk too , like a polar bear . still convinced his beard is the source of all his knowledge. his beard has these stripes and im sure they are indicators ,its not just biological hair

 

was too drunk (like i am now) to remember anything in detail after that..... thanks for rreading

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Haha yeah very nice story, really looking forward the Orlando one !

orlando was fucking crazy maannnnnn. i cant even start

i wake up at 8-9am that morning for some reason, we're at this club called the hangar

people been clubbing there since 2am the last evening and they still serving drinks, i walk in cause i need to unload a brown holocuast . edging at my stomach and abdominal walls, giving me hard stress and metal thoughts . this latino fellow lets me in free cause ive got my NA2015 badge on me, and probably saw me walk off of the bus. like judging from his regard for me and everything else i'm expecting to be escorted to a silver rimmed enclave of a fucking commode room and i end up basically shitting in the spatial equivalent of a bombed out church

 

im finishing up there and then i go back to the bus . our new tour sound guy had hopped on by that time. a guy named nikhil- really nice dude. miss him a whole whole lot . his heritage is eastern, he looks like he is from jersey and about 25 or 26 years old but he's actually 40 years old and from florida (might be wrong), he rolls amazing joints

 

rom from phoenecia knocks on the window while we are chillign in the bus and (not knowing who he is) i shut the drapes- well its weird to contrast this story with the seattle story because they are so far apart. anyway he msg's me on facebook i think, and i go out and meet him and his wife and his dog and get them into the show later on. wait im totally fucking lying right now becuase this was the MIAMI show and not the orlando show. the ORLANDO show was the first day i had mussels, rob B reccomended i try them and for the rest of the tour (and even now) i constantly seek them out as my favorite seafood. fucking A i am so wasted right now, im not even going to post any more after this - in new hampshire me & rob hall & jamie hit up a seafood restaurant and i had the most amazing clam chowder ive had in my life , after having mussels in orland i can only imagine how good they would've been in new hampshire. wait ok so mussels are the small things in the shells right, the salty ones that come with the soupy part right? i wish i had some right now.

 

the morning in miami me and nikhil went on a long walk in the morning around the beachfront. it was about 4-5 miles walk from the bus, we ended up at this spot where you could have just fallen into the water if you didn't have control of your body - or if you were a child or an idiot

 

nikhil + rob + sean b + rob b and i ended up eating lunch that afternoon at Whole Foods. were back at the hotel afterward to shower and ready for the gig. i remember sean saying something like "what do you do, you just go around and get food" and it making me laugh my ass off bcos thats absolutely the most sean thing that could possibly be said in a grocery store

 

mussels were actually better when we were in MIAMI than when we were in san fran. i forget which restaurant we went to in SF but the mussels there just weren't as good. im not even totally sure if that was the name of the animal we were eating. it was so good the first time i had it

 

yeah i will post these in chronological order (maybe) . im going to sleep now byyee

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I like how you describe every little insignificant detail but the events between having to take the worst shit of your life and having taken the worst shit of your life are left to the reader's imagination

dude wait until i tell u about arriving in brooklyn

our bus driver at tht time was a dude named pat (total jeff bridges doppleganger, both nominally and in character) i go to him like, "pat, i have to take an unsanctimonious bowel movement right now can you stop anywhere"

 

nowhere to stop, venue is like 8 blocks away - everyones asleep still on the bus - he drops me off and and i have the address to the venue. i end up going to a mcdonalds, i forget its new york and basically hell so of course theres nowhere in public to conduct a brown symphony at 10am in the morn

 

i go to a 7-11 and the doors have FUCKING QUARTER SLOTS ON THEM . IM THINKING, WHAT??????????????? in 30 of years i had never seen anything like that before .

 

took care of business and made it to the masonic temple on time and on point. i even had a good lengthy conversation with some black freemasons who had been attending a conference there around the time we finished sound checking. they took my email address. i was asking them about those hebrew israelite guys who do those weekly seminars - tazaryach and that other guy, the dudes who dresss up like soul sonic force. i dont really believe in things like they do but i think they have soul, those guys have a solid foundation and i respect that. that guy took me email address. this would be the first attempt at cult/sectarian recruiting that would happen on tour because in los angeles i went to the l ron hubbard museum and they tried to get me there. nope. i think i wrote about this in the ama - in SF i tried to give the guy from SND those books as recruiting tools telling him i'd just converted to scientology that day and he said, "why"

 

so after NY soundchecking me and rob hall and sean found a deli afterward and , i dont remember what they had but i had my first nova lox sandwich (which i order a lot now) and a bottle of orange juice. was raelly good. ok im really going to sleep now, bye

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Awesome, I love your tour stories. I never saw that Elektron seminar either, that was hilarious. I love how you straight up told them they need to have 128 steps too, haha.

 

 

 

Don't the RYTM & A4 have that per-track scale thing the OT has, though, where you can just set the track to play at 1/2, 1/4, 1/8 speed or whatever, and then play the master track at 128 steps? Then you can use microtiming to set each trig to the exact position you want. It's definitely a less smooth workflow though.

 

 

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Don't the RYTM & A4 have that per-track scale thing the OT has, though, where you can just set the track to play at 1/2, 1/4, 1/8 speed or whatever, and then play the master track at 128 steps? Then you can use microtiming to set each trig to the exact position you want. It's definitely a less smooth workflow though.

 

 

 

nah it's just global scale in AR/A4... but they put in trig conditions now which is excellent and gives you trig probabilities, and a modulo thing where trigs only fire every X iterations and stuff like this. But it totally looks like Mr. Cygnus already knew that during that interview imo, because it was all like "if only we had 128 steps" "wink wink" "lol" "yeah if only"

 

 

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I kinda get Prodigy/Smack my bitch up imagery when i read these posts. Which is visually stimulating, but sonically complete shit. No need to hear those Prodigy beats when reading these posts.

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i wake up at 8-9am that morning for some reason, we're at this club called the hangar

people been clubbing there since 2am the last evening and they still serving drinks, i walk in cause i need to unload a brown holocuast . edging at my stomach and abdominal walls, giving me hard stress and metal thoughts . this latino fellow lets me in free cause ive got my NA2015 badge on me, and probably saw me walk off of the bus. like judging from his regard for me and everything else i'm expecting to be escorted to a silver rimmed enclave of a fucking commode room and i end up basically shitting in the spatial equivalent of a bombed out church

 

Give this man a Pulitzer Prize.

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